Are You Ready to Live Together?

Are You Ready to Live Together?

Figuring out whether or not you’re ready to live together is a big step in any relationship…are you ready?

There comes a time in a strong, committed relationship when the idea of moving in together surfaces. People often have differing opinions about the benefits of living together or staying apart. It’s important to realize that the decision ultimately rests with you.

Evaluate your feelings. Do you love this person? If you haven’t reached an “I love you” moment and sincerely meant it, then you probably aren’t ready to live together. Choosing to share rent or purchase a home together is a decision that hopefully means you’ll be together forever. If you aren’t sure about the longevity of your relationship don’t move in together. Wait until you feel more confident about the relationship. It would suck to realize a month later that it isn’t going to work AFTER you’ve already signed a lease.

Religious Views. Many religions ask that couples wait until after marriage to move in together. If you are not a member of a particular religious denomination or are a member but do not agree with this view, then that’s okay. Ignore it. However, if it does matter to you, don’t let your date force you into cohabitation. Moving in together or living apart is not a sign of the strength of your relationship. Remember that.

Don’t rush.  There’s no reason to just rush in with each other.  Living together is difficult from a purely logistics perspective.  Who pays the rent?  What about all of the utilities?  What happens if you break up?  Who’ll be holding the bag for the rent, the utilities, the bill for all the rented furniture?  Think about these things before you move in.  I cannot tell you what a hassle it is to worry about money when you’re breaking up with someone.

Ultimately, it’s a decision that should feel right for both of you. Considering your families (do you have children separately?), finances, and personal feelings about your relationship are important. Only you can make the decision that is right for you. Take some time to think about it and trust yourself. Know that regardless of your decision, you can have a successful and strong lasting relationship. Both moving in or living separately until marriage are valid options.

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