Affairs

She’s having an affair. What do you do?

She’s always staying late at work. She can’t be home on the weekends. She’s around in the morning, but every afternoon and every night she has somewhere else to be. Finally, you discover why. You walk in on your woman with another man. What do you do when you find out that your girlfriend or your wife is having an affair?

Sadly, this happens more often than we’d like to admit. Determining what to do can be scary and definitely isn’t easy. You need to begin by assessing how you feel about your lady. Do you love her? If you haven’t fallen in love yet – get out. Don’t throw yourself deeper into something that she isn’t committed to. You have a chance to save yourself, so do it. Save yourself.

If you have fallen in love, things are more complicated. If you’re married, the complications only increase. If you have kids, you guessed it, the complications increase once again. Much of your decision should depend upon the way that she feels. Some woman are not remorseful. They wanted to cheat, they did, and they would do it again. Furthermore, they may be planning to leave you. Other woman claim that they “made a mistake” and they don’t want to lose you. If she wants to stick around and you want to stick around, then work together to make it a reality. Head to couples therapy and work to identify your issues, bring them out into the open, work through them, process them, and find positive, healthy solutions that make both of you happy. Restoring your marriage isn’t a dream. It’s a reality – if both of you are committed to making it work.

My girlfriend and I are always fighting. Why? Because she won’t stop flirting with other guys! At first, I thought maybe I was over-reacting. Until the guys started flirting back and asking her out. Then I knew I was right all along. It was just too much!

I tried to talk with her about the issue. I was calm, not angry at all. I explained that I felt like she was pursuing other men when we went out due to her excessive flirting. Sadly, she didn’t care at all. Didn’t apologize. Didn’t even see it as a problem. Then the fighting began. Now we’re always fighting.

It wasn’t until last week that I realized we either needed to work things out or end our relationship. It’s too toxic to continue at this level with all of the fighting. It isn’t healthy for either of us.

We ended up trying to work through things together, but she still didn’t see the problem. When we asked friends to comment, they all agreed that she shouldn’t be flirting. It still didn’t solve anything. She didn’t see it. In the end, I had to break it off. The fact that she didn’t care enough to recognize my feelings or to dial back the flirting, made me realize that we were not a relationship meant to last. In lasting relationships, you need to trust one another and you need to care about one another deeply. You also need to have the same basic values. She felt that it was fine to be flirting with every guy she found attractive. I thought that should only happen when in non-committed relationships. We were committed. Not anymore. Now I’m off to find someone who shares my values and wants to be committed to me in the same way that I want to be committed to someone.

It comes down to your personality and your level of commitment. Find out what yours is before you decide to end your relationship. Just know that some relationship cannot be saved and shouldn’t be saved.

“I had an affair and I want to save my marriage! How do I do it?”

An affair is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship and it’s usually almost impossible to try and pick up the pieces afterward.  I’m sorry for not giving you a much rosier picture, but the problem is affairs are trust-poison, and all relationships run off of the gasoline of trust.  If you’ve had an affair, you will need to let your spouse handle trying to bring the relationship back together.

So you’ve had an affair, but you care enough about your partner to try to save your marriage. While I commend you for opting to stick it out, I can tell you that this is one of the most difficult things to recover from in a relationship. You’ve broken the sacred trust between the two of you and re-establishing that is not going to be an easy task. In addition, I have to wonder if your partner is on board. To have a happy and healthy marriage, both partners must be willing to make it work.

Many people think that they can solve this problem on their own. Maybe they’ll buy their wife flowers or begin cooking every meal. Others adopt a lazy approach and assume that she’ll just “get over it” eventually. Neither is the correct response. It is kind and considerate to begin to do more around the house, but make sure that you are doing things that you do well. If you always do the laundry and she screams at you for doing it wrong, don’t touch it. Try to do the things that you know you can do right. Cleaning and cooking are usually good options that will not upset her.

You must always remember that you were in the wrong and that she will be suspicious of you from now on.  She’ll call you at work, she’ll ask your friends where you’ve been, she may even check up behind you.  Relationships where one partner has cheated are usually damaged in some way and that poison lingers on in her for many years to come.  She is the one that will ultimately decide to forgive you.  Give her every reason to.

In the end, it’s important to realize that you cannot fix this on your own. The chances are slim to none and why risk it? If you are serious about your marriage then you should ask your partner to go to couples therapy with you. This will give you both a mediator and an objective third person perspective. A couples therapist will be able to help you work through your problems. Your partner will also be more likely to share things in session that she might not at home, giving you a better idea on what she needs and on what you can do to save your marriage.

Another way to fix the problem and save your marriage is to take proven steps that will rewind the damage that’s been done. It’s still possible to get back those initial sensual feelings and keep them for good. Watch my FREE video presentation to see how…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

Question: My husband had an affair and I’m wondering what I should do with our relationship? Should I stay married to him or leave him? He said it was just a one time thing and he was drunk. I don’t know. I’m worried it may continue. I mean, my husband had an affair! What should I do?

Answer: This is a tough situation. No matter which way you look at the situation, your husband cheated on you and had an affair. It’s difficult to trust him now because he lied once. It’s possible that he could lie again. Yet – you are considering staying with him. So there must be a part of you that still loves him.  This can be hard to shake, I know, but you have to put your feelings aside and really think about whether or not you can forgive him.

There are no easy answers with a situation like this. I would recommend first and foremost, that you spend a little time away and think about this situation privately. You need to evaluate your feelings by yourself without ANYONE (your husband, your parents, your friends, etc) influencing you. If you have children this may be difficult. You may need to tell them that you are going to an event in another city for a few days.

Once you go away and come back, hopefully you will have cleared your head enough to make a decision. If your husband is truly remorseful and still loves you, then he will understand your need for space. He will also be waiting when you get back.

Taking some time off also has the added effect of letting him think about what he’s done.  If it was really spur of the moment, then he might be feeling extremely ashamed and might not want to talk to you out of fear that pressing the issue too soon may exacerbate an already tense situation.  If he’s not apologetic, and instead took the time to continue his behavior, well I think you have your answer now.

If you think, even for a moment, that he might return to his old ways, then you need to leave him.  It will work in the long run, and you may have to do it even with all the complications of children, a house, and a job, but your safety and emotional security are paramount.

Whatever you do, it’s important to understand that you need to make this decision for yourself. Don’t consider what everyone else would like you to do. This is about you and you should be the only one making this kind of life-changing decision for yourself. Never let your future be in someone else’s hands. Keep it firmly within your own hands.

Now that you’ve learned what to do in a difficult situation like an affair, check out my FREE video presentation that shows you how to rewind your relationship to avoid situations like these. Click here NOW to learn the secret of a happy, fresh, and faithful relationship.

Marriage on the rocks?  Let’s talk about it!  You can breathe new life into your relationship for a better tomorrow!

If your marriage is on the rocks, there could be all sorts of problems on the horizon, so I’m glad you’ve found this site and are getting advice on what to do.  There’s nothing worse than leaving a problem to fester and rot, and no one wants to see their marriage destroyed.  I want you to have peace and happiness for the rest of your life.

What are the issues that negatively affect people’s marriages?

Mental health issues are a big one.  We all want to make sure we’re in tip top shape, but a lot of times modern life can pile on unnecessary stress onto us and it bleeds out into other areas of life.  There’s no reason that you should not think that you must be perfect at all times, but there are mental health issues that can put your marriage on the rocks.

Depression is an epidemic, it can affect everything around your confidence, to your energy levels, to your emotions, to the way you see the world and when you’re depressed reality shifted. A marriage on the rocks might be a sign this is a problem.

So part of this could all be in my mind?

There’s this thing people experience called cognitive distortions which mean when you see something often the depressed person gets an unrealistic image.  In a way reality is walked in their mind, and the truth is distorted, so often relationship problems are caused by one partner experiencing some trauma or maybe having some mental challenges and issues that aren’t resolve and aren’t fixed.

When you’re in a relationship a lot of your happiness and a lot of your own peace is tied to the quality of the relationship and that is often very closely related to your partner’s mental health. Dealing with marriage on the rocks you’ve got to be open to what might be the causes.

Then what should I do?

What’s really critical is that can you develop our communication strategy in your relationship, where you both feel very comfortable offering feedback, suggestions and being one team when it comes to getting health, support and dealing with problems. Having a marriage on the rocks is a must-fix scenario no matter what you need to do.

Do not become separated from your spouse emotionally, because this can be death in the long run.  Do not allow your problems to cloud your judgment.  Life goes on.  Each problem that presents itself will eventually be solved and go away.  Nothing lasts forever, which is why you needn’t despair over the problems you are currently having.

That’s usually what causes marriage breakdown and also it’s relationship problems is when both people are no longer on the same page, they’re not on the same path, and they’re not really aiming to work together on this together. A marriage on the rocks can be fixed you’ve just got to get both people in on it.

So if you feel like your relationship may be dealing with depression in you or your partners, it’s very important that you communicate about this, you talk about it and you work hard together to resolve it. A marriage on the rocks need to be highly analyzed for the problems.

Is there something more I should worry about?

Many relationship problems are just symptoms of some deeper issues, they’re just very superficial signs about things are wrong kind of a much deep level.

So what I encourage you to do is to really make a very strong consistent effort to make sure that you’re both very happy, healthy and your head is in the right place as well as that, that you’re both working as one team.

One way to make sure you’ve got your heads in the right place is to follow a proven system that fixes problems in relationships. If you’ve been looking for a way to rekindle those initial sensual feelings…then watch my FREE video presentation to see how…CLICK HERE to check out the video while it’s still up online…

I want to help you with some marriage tips, they’re going to make you big difference in marriage.

Don’t worry if your relationship is on the brink!  There are plenty of couples who have found themselves in this predicament and have come out stronger for it.  It can happen for you too.  I always give the same advice when I hear about relationship trouble with any couple: get on top of it and do not wait.  Procrastination is deadly when relationship troubles rear their ugly head.   Here are some marriage tips for the troubled couple.

Remember when your parents instructed you to never go to bed angry, to try and figure out your problems before going to bed?  This sounds like good advice at first, but sometimes couples have deep seated issues that cannot be undone in a single evening.  I actually advocate for going to bed angry…in separate rooms.  Sounds weird?  Well, your grandmother may not approve, but there is a method to my madness.

Everyone needs a time out.  One of the big things that can aggravate a troubled couple is to not have breaks in between spats or arguments.  Everyone needs time to calm down, and being in a constant aggravated state makes any trouble worse because we end up saying things we shouldn’t.  Forcing yourself to stay with your spouse until you deem the problem over can escalate the conflict and cause you to say things you might not want to.  If you give yourself a break from your spouse, you can give  yourself time to sort yourself out.

Another marriage tip for the troubled couple is to have an area where all stress is removed from the environment.  For most couples, this is the bedroom.  Most people roll their eyes upon hearing this, but I see so many couples that are stressed out and can’t find solutions to simple problems because they do not have a safe place where it’s just the two of them.

Think of your bedroom as your sanctuary.  Remove all distractions.  Don’t bring your work into the bedroom.  Save all of the file folders, the stacks of papers, and the snacks for the kitchen.  The bedroom should be a sacred place where you and your partner are simply there to relax and enjoy one another.  This sounds so simple, but you’ll easily find that quarantining a part of your house where your kids cannot enter and where the stresses of the outside world melt away,

Now that you’ve pondered marriage tips for the troubled couple, check out my FREE video presentation that shows you how to rewind your relationship to get out of your troubled state forever. Get back to a loving, exciting state in your relationship. Click here NOW to learn the secret.

Seeing marriage problems signs early is very important.Seeing marriage problems signs?

What do we need to watch out for if we think we’re seeing signs of marriage problems?  We might think our marriage is going just fine, but are there special signs we should keep an eye on so that we can predict a problem before it becomes too much to handle?  There are, and if you’re knowledgeable, you can save your marriage before it’s too late!

First off, how often do you and your spouse make love?  Physical intimacy is the bedrock for many marriages.  Without it, your marriage devolves into simply a great friendship, and for many people, that’s just not enough.  If you feel your love life has taken a turn for the worse, it’s time to head off the problem and do something spontaneous and romantic.  Make sure that it breaks your normal routine and that your spouse is genuinely surprised.  Nothing builds romance and passion like uncertainty and spontaneity.

Another marriage problem sign you need to watch out for is if your spouse seems distant or aloof when they had been interested and engaged before.  This can be a surefire sign of marriage boredom, and if left to fester, can turn into strife later.  Marriage is supposed to build both people within the relationship and can offer ways for both people to grow and experience life in ways they couldn’t as individuals.  If your relationship isn’t accomplishing this, boredom can set in, and so can the wandering eye.

Does your spouse avoid you?  This might be, in fact, unthinkable for a couple.  However, when the glow of being newlyweds fades, have you fallen into the rut of monotony?  Do you feel that you do not need to do anything special for your mate now that you are married?  If you don’t show your partner that you value your relationship with them, they may feel slighted and distant.  They may find that staying at work extra hours or going out with their friends may be preferable to being home with you.

This might sound harsh, but relationships are ongoing and require a lot of work.  Your partner entered the marriage with you out of love, respect, passion, and because they though their life would be enhanced.  You most likely did for the same reasons, or more.  You cannot just rest on your laurels after you say “I do.”  It’s time to make the most of your relationship with your partner and to cherish them.

Do activities you know your partner loves, or talk about subjects they like to talk about.  Let them know you value your time together, and your marriage will take on a new character.  Change your home décor and buy a new car.  Go to a movie you would never otherwise go to or take up a new sport.  Take your spouse out to an art festival or to samba dancing.  There’s a world of new activities.

There are more signs of a strained marriage, but if you notice that your spouse is avoiding you, or you are having fewer and fewer chances to have intimate relations, or if you feel like your partner is just plain bored, there are ways to head off these problems so that you don’t find yourself in a psychologist’s office, wondering why you have to now have marriage counseling.

Since you’ve read about how to spot marriage problems, I’d like to point you to more FREE content to help you further fix your relationship. Learn how to rewind your relationship and make it more satisfying. All you need is one simple secret and my FREE video presentation will show you exactly how. Click here NOW to take back your relationship. You and your lover deserve true happiness TODAY.

If your marriage needs help and you just don’t know what to do, go on Youtube and find Tony Robbins.  His breakthrough series is inspirational, and you can use it to help repair your marriage.

It’s an amazing series that covers mostly relationships – people who are married and they’ve been through some sort of trauma. It gives an amazing insight into outside-of-the-square marriage help that is for sure.  Everyone that has seen it has said it has changed their lives.  I really recommend that you stop what you’re doing and watch it.

With one couple the husband lost his job and they were suffering from some massive financial difficulties.

One couple in the series was having problems getting through a hard patch where one of them contracted a debilitating disease.  It was so heartbreaking to see how their medical bills strained their relationship, but the husband stood by his wife until eventually she was cured of the disease.  Some say, his love for her is what cured her.

You quickly realize, after watching this television show, that relationships are strong when certain things occur. It’s great marriage help because it’s very real and you can see what works and doesn’t work. Too many of the people feel sorry for themselves or are stuck in the past or haven’t recovered from a personal trauma – and this destroys their marriage.

In the case of the couple facing a terminal illness, the husband didn’t feel sorry for himself, he took control of the situation and decided to let his wife know he was sticking by her until the very end.  He had an abiding faith that is the secret spice for any great relationship.

He takes a very strong leadership role within the relationship and becomes the rock. Not enough marriage help encourages this in my opinion.

The second thing is that if you don’t deal with your own issues, you don’t deal with your own problems; you kind of bring both your partner down and the relationship down.  Remember, you know you’re in a great relationship where you care for your partner just as much as you would care for yourself.

It’s very easy to be selfish in a relationship when you have problems but being in a marriage, your problems end up becoming your partner’s problems whether you like it or not. Looking for marriage help might not be all you need. You might need personal help along with marriage help.

Keep watching the series and you’ll learn all sorts of life lessons.

There was one particular couple who he sent to Skid Row down in LA and believe me that gave him a huge jolt.  Their marriage was saved because of it. It would be better if all marriage help was as transformational as this account he gave.  Sometimes we gain the most once we conquer our darkest hour.

It serves a lesson to consider putting yourself right outside your comfort zone when you are improving your marriage. Don’t look for marriage help as an easy way out. Use marriage help to encourage you to take some risks.  Marriage advice is designed to challenge you, to do thinks you didn’t think were possible.

So it might be time for you to put a bit of pressure on your relationship, to make a decision, to add a bit of leverage, to do something different and put yourself under a little bit of extra focus.

This might be the catalyst for turning your marriage around.

With your understanding of ways to help your marriage, learn more with my FREE video presentation. It’ll teach you how to turn EVERYTHING around. Understanding the 4 secret stages of a breakup gives you a roadmap to success. Click here NOW to learn the key secret that makes it all possible.

Dealing with a marriage in trouble requires some drastic measures.  Don’t worry though, I’ve got some great advice that works!Marriage in trouble?

Don’t let marriage problems ruin your life.  I know, it probably feels like the walls around you are crumbling.  You fight with your spouse all the time.  The bills keep coming in, but you have no money to pay them.  You blame each other for everything that goes wrong, and you haven’t been on a romantic date in months!  Don’t worry.  Take a deep breath.  If your marriage is in trouble, then you need to proactively go after the problem.

The #1 cause of marriage stress is financial related.  Couples normally break up after a layoff or some other horrendous financial calamity.  Sometimes it’s because bills pile up and you have no idea how you’re going to make it from month to month.  This happens to anyone and it is nothing to be embarrassed about, and it is definitely not the time to be at each other’s throats.  It’s time to come up with a new budget, to try and find a cheaper place to live and a cheaper car, and take time out to get your lives together.

If it’s not financial stress, then maybe there has been infidelity?  I know how hard this time in your life can be.  You feel your spouse has betrayed you and your wedding vows, and you don’t know how you could ever pick up the pieces of your broken marriage.  The first thing to do is not jump to conclusions.  I cannot tell you how many phone calls I get from hysterical wives who think they’re husband is cheating on them, basing their assertions on the fact that they saw him walking down the street with another woman.

Don’t make assumptions!  The woman you saw your husband with may or may not be sleeping with him. She may be an old classmate or a childhood friend.  Men and women can have platonic relationships, even when they’re married!  If you really feel he is cheating on you, hire a private detective and gather some evidence.  If he is indeed seeing someone else, you’ll have to breakup with him and most likely move to a new city.

If your marriage is in trouble because of substance abuse problems, I have to be honest and say that it’s probably not going to work out.  Sure, people can come out of alcohol programs and drug programs better people, but usually substance abuse destroys relationships and the people who abuse.  It may be too late if they’ve become violent or withdrawn.  It might be time to leave.

Marriage troubles are tough, and sometimes we have to understand when our marriage is no longer salvageable.  However, if we come into our marriage from a position of strength, where we are actively looking for problems to solve and mountains to climb, then we can get out of the marriage trouble woods quite quickly.

Now that you’ve learned how to deal with a marriage in trouble, check out my FREE video presentation that shows you how to rewind your relationship so you won’t be in a situation that isn’t working. Click here NOW to learn the secret of amazing relationships.

If you’re having marriage difficulties, there is something you can do.
Marriage Difficulties - Useful advice that can help you if your marriage is in trouble

No one ever said marriage would be perfect, and few relationships are.  When you’re facing marriage difficulties, there are a few things you can do to preserve your marriage and bring order back to your life. The first thing to do is to be honest with yourself as to what is truly the problem.

One major problem in marriages is if there is a difference in the sexual needs of both partners.  One partner may have a high sex drive and want to make love more often than the other.  Maybe you feel hurt that you have to shun your partner’s advances, and make them feel you don’t want them sexually.  You love your partner, but you just do not want to make love as often as they would like, and it’s starting to become a problem.  This causes a rift in many relationships, one that you don’t want to cause.  It may be time to expand your horizons and explore your sexuality more.

We often let the stresses of modern life make us feel we can put sex off, or that there are more important things to do. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.  The intimacy you share with your partner is the core of your relationship and you must do what it takes to save it.    If your job or a big project is making you feel stressed, then put it down and take out some time to spend with your significant other, just the two of you.  You don’t necessarily have to do something grand, like go to a tropical island.

Even the simplest dates, like walking through a park or doing an activity that you can bond over, go a long way in rebuilding a relationship that’s been mired in domestic drudgery.  Once you are relaxed and not thinking about the next deadline or your bosses face on Monday morning, you’ll find being intimate with your partner much more natural.

Sometimes intimacy is not the problem in a marriage.  Maybe you feel like you and your partner are reliving the same day over and over again. 

Routines are good, but too much can lead to boredom and stagnation, and that’s not what endeared you to your partner in the first place.  It’s time to spice it up, and not just in the bedroom.  In these cases you’ll have to do something very much out the ordinary.  Some couples go to exotic locales while others take up new hobbies that they can enjoy together.

Try and do something that involves meeting other couples, or dressing up and going someplace elegant. 

Some couples take up ballroom dancing, which is a romantic activity where you can dress up, go on an adventure, and break up your routine.  If you are outdoorsy, then visiting a scenic spot and going happy can be a romantic trip and rekindle your relationship.  Anything that gets you out of the house and away from the daily grind.