Always Fighting

“If I nag him enough, he’ll do it” – If I had a dime for every time I heard this one…

Sadly, women today think that they need to tell men over and over again what they need once they’ve tied the knot. Unfortunately, this is often because men don’t listen to what their wives are saying to them. It’s a vicious cycle and once it starts, it never ends.

The best way to avoid this cycle depends upon your gender:

Women: Listen to your man! Then respond and/or do what he asks. And try not to nag. Men hate this as much as your children do. In fact, other woman hate it too. Tell him once and if he was listening, then let it go. Or remind him once later on. No need to tell him every ten minutes. It only builds resentment on his end and continues the vicious cycle.

Men: Listen to you wife! Then respond and/or do what she asks. If you listen to her, she’ll listen to you. Respect her and she’ll respect you. See how that works? If she says, “Could you pick up Jimmy today from soccer camp because I need to go to the mall and get a present for his friend, Andy’s birthday party next week?” Listen and then answer her, “Yeah, I could pick him up. What time? Thanks for getting that gift.” Most likely you didn’t want to get the gift. You’re both doing something. If your wife continues to remind you to pick up Jimmy over and over again, let her know. “Honey, I heard you and I will remember.” Let her know that you don’t like the nagging. Let her know that it bothers you and it actually makes you not want to listen.

Follow this advice and and you’ll be on your way to a more understanding relationship! Better yet – he’ll listen and she’ll stop nagging.

My girlfriend and I are always fighting. Why? Because she won’t stop flirting with other guys! At first, I thought maybe I was over-reacting. Until the guys started flirting back and asking her out. Then I knew I was right all along. It was just too much!

I tried to talk with her about the issue. I was calm, not angry at all. I explained that I felt like she was pursuing other men when we went out due to her excessive flirting. Sadly, she didn’t care at all. Didn’t apologize. Didn’t even see it as a problem. Then the fighting began. Now we’re always fighting.

It wasn’t until last week that I realized we either needed to work things out or end our relationship. It’s too toxic to continue at this level with all of the fighting. It isn’t healthy for either of us.

We ended up trying to work through things together, but she still didn’t see the problem. When we asked friends to comment, they all agreed that she shouldn’t be flirting. It still didn’t solve anything. She didn’t see it. In the end, I had to break it off. The fact that she didn’t care enough to recognize my feelings or to dial back the flirting, made me realize that we were not a relationship meant to last. In lasting relationships, you need to trust one another and you need to care about one another deeply. You also need to have the same basic values. She felt that it was fine to be flirting with every guy she found attractive. I thought that should only happen when in non-committed relationships. We were committed. Not anymore. Now I’m off to find someone who shares my values and wants to be committed to me in the same way that I want to be committed to someone.

It comes down to your personality and your level of commitment. Find out what yours is before you decide to end your relationship. Just know that some relationship cannot be saved and shouldn’t be saved.

This is a problem that needs to be resolved…STAT!

For some reason when we find ourselves in a relationship we feel as though we must hold onto it. It has to work if we’ve been together for a couple of months. One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give to others it that you have to do what’s best for you. If you have children or if you’re married, then those are huge considerations in the even of a breakup. However, if you’ve just been together for years – it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together for life.

“I’m never happy when we’re together. How do I make things better?”

This kind of question is almost laughable when seen from this perspective. If you’re never happy when you’re with your partner, then why are you with him or her? With children involved or a marriage commitment, it’s different. With nothing but each other, then there isn’t anything else to focus on. Just you and your partner. If you’re both not happy then why are you trying to make things work? Let them go. Let it fall apart.

If you want to work it out then you must have strong feelings for your partner. In that case you need to determine what it is that is keeping you from being happy. There has to be something that isn’t working. You may find out that it’s just your connection with the other person. Perhaps you don’t have any shared interests. Maybe you haven’t connected on a deep enough level emotionally. Whatever the case, know that it’s okay to end a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. There’s no need to stick it out or fight for something that isn’t worth fighting for.

Make sure that you’re working to save your relationship because it’s what is best for you and for partner. You both deserve to be happy and it’s okay if that happiness lies with someone else.

What you need to do is work together and follow proven steps to rewind your relationship. You really do deserve to get back those initial sensual feelings and keep them for good. Watch my FREE video presentation to see how…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

If things aren’t working in your relationship and you’re always fighting with one another, life can be stressful. These four tips will help you lose the screaming and get rid of the silent treatment.

#1. Learn to control your temper

Your relationship can be stronger and more successful if you are able to control your temper. Learn more positive ways of reacting and responding to stress and disagreements  with your girl.

#2. Talk about what’s wrong

Instead of withdrawing or lashing out, stay calm. Sit down and talk about what’s bothering you. Make sure that each person has the time to be there. Be honest. Expect honesty from her.

#3. Try to see her side

If you start the talk and you’re only looking for her to apologize, then you’ve missed the point. Listen to what she’s saying. Apologize if you need to. Explain where you’re coming from, but try to figure out where she’s coming from as well.

#4. Seek counseling if necessary

If marriage or relationship counseling is necessary, then do it. You’ll know if you need it by paying attention to how often you have arguments and how successful your attempts to resolve it are. When both of you cannot sit down together and talk through things, then you’ll know that it’s gone too far. You can learn how to resolve things on your own and there isn’t any shame in asking for help by reaching out to a relationship counseling professional. However, if you are able to resolve things on your own, that’s okay too. Just be honest when you look at your communication strategies and the way the two of you resolve things.

With these tips put into play, you’ll find that you have less arguments and that when you do they can be easily resolved. Conflict resolution and communication are two of the most important skills in all relationships, not just romantic relationships.

Do you argue constantly? Is nothing ever right in your home? Is nothing ever right in your relationship? Do you want to stop the constant bickering, but just can’t seem to find a way to do so? Look no further. Safe words will be your answer.

Arguments are actually a healthy part of any relationship.  It’s true.  I’ve seen many couples that have stayed together for years go through blistering arguments and then never break up.  In fact, these disagreements enhance and maximize their relationship in ways that couples who never argue could only dream about.  However, if you find yourself arguing too much, or feel that your relationship is in danger from too much discord, read on.

What is a safe word, you ask? Safe words are words that you create to keep yourself from taking things too far. You can have a word that keeps you from going too far. Your partner can have a word. Let’s say you choose “cream” and he chooses “lightning.” (It doesn’t really matter what the words are, just so long as they are unique enough that they will stand out and are also words that you’ll remember later on). Safe words for fighting will help you to repair your relationship.

Don’t be taken aback by how silly this sounds.  I first came up with the idea when watching a hypnotist work with a group of people.  He was helping a man with tremendous back pain relax, and he used a special word to get the man into a hypnotic state to ease his muscles.  I thought the same idea could be applied to relationships, and even though it may be weird to yell out “Jelly beans!” during a heated argument, it has a magical way of diffusing bickering.

As the argument begins to heat up, you feel yourself ready to yell out some threatening things and some hurtful things you know you’ll regret later. Right now you’re too upset to deal with this productively, so you say “lightning” and walk away.

Your partner will now know not to follow you. She will just let you be. Later, when things have settled down, the two of you can sit down. You can discuss politely and gently the issues. You can compromise and find ways to solve the problems at hand.  This is much better than getting in to a screaming match.  You do not want things to escalate emotionally where you will have no control over yourself.  You’ll say things you don’t really mean.

The safe words allow you both to stop in a crisis and agree to ignore things for a moment. To give yourselves time to breathe and to calm down. This is one of the most important tools that I try to share with couples. It’s a great way to solve things before they turn into something that is widely out of control.

If you aren’t sure, just give it a try.  Don’t feel embarrassed!  You would never guess how many couples actually use this technique to keep their relationships in working order.  Your safe word for fighting can be anything you want it to be.  My advice is to make it silly, so that it diffuses the situation in a jiffy.  The safe word for me and my wife is “Fahrvergnuegen,” a German word that sounds funny to both of us.  We actually laugh in the middle of heated debates.

It’s important, however, to remember that it only works if it is honored. If you or your partner continues to nag and yell at the other individual during the fighting, it will not work. You both must respect the safe words if they are to be used effectively and are to be used to restore the good nature of your relationship together.

Since you’ve read about safe words for fighting, my FREE video presentation will show you how to take back your relationship once and for all. Don’t know the 3 proven steps to fix your relationship? Click here NOW to reverse any damage and she’ll be yours forever.

What I recommend to do if you have a fight with wife is to turn your normal strategy upside down.

Fighting with your wife?
Talking to the hand is not getting on her wavelength!

You’ve probably had fights with your wife when you were dating, so is handling it really so different when you’re married?  It can be.

Always remember to remain firm and assertive.  You do not want your wife to lose respect for you by thinking you’ll just agree with her on everything and do whatever she says.  You’re married because she was attracted to you for being a man, so do not think just because you and she are married that you suddenly have to agree with everything.  Remember, being assertive does not mean being a jerk.  It’s just means you understand your own boundaries.

If you find yourself having lots of fights with your wife, then you need to take a moment, calm down, and think through the situation logically.  Is she just releasing stress and you get goaded into having a fight?  Is she criticizing you and thinks you aren’t providing enough for the family?  Does she think you go with your friends too much.  You need to think about the fight from her perspective, but always remember to maintain your own boundaries and what you want.

Sometimes women see men as projects, they think they can change you the way they want to change you.  Now that you’re married, she may think that her project is complete, but then you remind her that you’re your own man.  She may try to push again to get you to change your behavior, but then you don’t go along with it.  In these cases, remain firm so long as your behavior is not having a negative effect on yourself.

Sometimes women think you spend too much time out with your friends, at the bar, or doing other things besides being home and caring for your family.  Now that men work more and have more demanding careers, it might be not possible for you to take less time at work to be with your family.  If you find that you almost never see your kids and your wife is left home alone a lot though, it might be time to rethink your career and make a change.  Think about what your life might be like in 20 year and really consider if your job is worth not seeing your children grow up.  This will help put things in perspective, and maybe your wife’s criticisms won’t seem so harsh.

If your wife is starting a lot of unnecessary fights and you’re wondering why your relationship is now filled with stress and strife, there may be infidelity afoot.  Sometimes, when one partner cheats on the other, they feel guilty for their infidelity and act out in their main relationship.  Keep an eye on your partners activities and make sure that this is not the case.

Now that you’ve learned how to deal with fights, I’d like to show you a short video that will help you rekindle all those blissful flames of desire you once had with your lover. It’s possible to rewind your relationship and make it better than ever before. You just need to know one simple secret and my FREE video presentation will show you how. Click here NOW to revitalize the passion in your relationship. You owe it to yourself…and your lover.

Are you spending almost every day fighting with your girlfriend? If so, this isn’t healthy and you need to take action. What kind of action you take depends on how you feel. Do you like/love your girlfriend and want to stay with her? Or do you find yourself trying to care but not really caring?

fighting with your girlfriend
There is always the fun of making up.

1. I like/love my girlfriend and I want to stay with her.

-> Then you need to show it. Fighting with your girlfriend isn’t going to help things. It isn’t going to solve anything. It will, however, ruin your relationship. Try talking calmly and rationally with one another. Really listen to what your girlfriend is saying and she will really listen to you. Work to find a compromise. If after several days you cannot come together, then you may need to look for a good couples psychologist. Couples therapists are wonderful because it allows an objective person to come in, without any bias, and listen to you. Then the therapist can help you both to see both sides and find a way to solve things that works for BOTH of you. Finding a way to satisfy both parties is important. It’s the only way to save your relationship.

2. I try to act like I care, but I really don’t.

-> It’s time to move on. Get out of that relationship. It isn’t fair to your girlfriend and it isn’t fair to you. You’re fighting when you shouldn’t even be together. Perhaps you can still be friends or maybe it just isn’t going to happen. Either way, it’s okay. Just know that you need to do your thing and take care of yourself. Be nice when you break up with her, but don’t stay with her because you feel like you have to. You don’t. And it isn’t fair to either of you.

Relationship issues are difficult to deal with. They can ruin your life if left untreated. One of the cornerstones of happiness is the state of one’s relationships. Take care of yours. 

Relationship Issues
Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the best ways to solve relationship issues.

I want to encourage you to solve your relationship issues by using cognitive behavior therapy, also known as CBT. CBT offers ways to understand your relationship issues and find solutions for them.

What CBT is about? It doesn’t sound like something that could actually help my relationship issues. I understand that you may feel hesitant to enter therapy to deal with your relationship issues, but it really is one of the best ways to clearly identify the problems and resolve them. You are always free to leave whenever you like, but I promise – it will do wonders for your personal life.

So what is CBT about? It’s about changing your thinking patterns into something more positive. You can fix your relationship issues by starting with your mind. It helps you to change the way that you respond to different things, building more awareness about the various associations that you have. It helps you find new ways of thinking about your problems that make you both happier and stronger.

Different people often respond in different ways to the same events. This is where CBT is helpful. It looks at the individual reasons for your responses. You are not factored into a formula, but instead addresses as an individual.

In your relationship, you may be responding to things negatively. You need to find ways to respond positively. CBT can help you determine why you are responding negatively and how you might respond positively. Other people who are going through similar things may respond to a situation with humor or consider it an avenue for personal growth. This is what CBT is all about. CBT is about finding the most healthy and most powerful ways to think about events in your life that previously you may have responded to negatively.CBT helps you to analyze your life and accept your surroundings, your behavior and your actions. It helps you to work with these three facets and discover hidden positives.

It is important to note, however, that CBT is not a method that you can administer on your own. It requires a trained professional to spend time with you, helping you to work through your thoughts and process your emotions. Because CBT looks at your thought patterns, it is difficult for you to do alone. You cannot adequately address your own thought patterns and see your thoughts objectively. Find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and are able to share your intimate thoughts. Together, you will be able to work through the issues surrounding your relationship and your life.

At the end of therapy, you’ll see yourself as more of an optimistic person who can positively frame events in his or her life.  You’ll also notice that your relationship issues are fading away. By working to better understand your patterns of thinking, you’ll grow as an individual and create better relationships in the future. Just because you’ve lived with various patterns of thinking doesn’t mean that you must continue living with them. Find a therapist today who specializes in cognitive behavioral treatment (CBT), put in the hard work, and watch as your life begins to reflect a happier you!

With your understanding of relationship issues, learn more with my FREE video presentation. Understanding the 4 stages of a breakup will help you avoid the most common issues couples face. Click here NOW to learn the key secret to a better, stronger relationship.

So many people write to me and talk to me about relationship doubts. It’s normal to have doubts now and again, but be sure that you’re not thinking about larger problems.

Dealing with relationship doubts can be a real pain.

When you first begin experiencing relationship doubts, then it’s time you begin to reflect on what is making you think that in the first place.  Do you wonder where the relationship is heading?  Do you wonder if it will ever turn into something serious?  Do you wonder if choosing someone else may have been better?

These relationship doubts could be a forewarning of major problems to come later on.  Take them seriously, but also don’t overreact.

If you don’t really like who you’re with, now is the time to be honest about it.  Having doubts is fine, and it might be telling you something: you’re not being really honest with yourself.  Maybe when you first started dating everything was fun, but now you feel that life has gotten stuck in a rut?

If you feel that you are having doubts about the relationship, but you still love your partner, then you should work to fix your problems. There are a variety of different ideas to saving a relationship.  You could try couple’s therapy if you’re serious, or maybe spice it up in the bedroom. Just make sure that you want to save your relationship first. If you’ve been a relationship for the past four weeks and you’re already having problems – do you think this person is really the right match for you?

It may simply be best to leave.  It sounds like hard advice to listen to.

So to determine what you should do, I recommend that you create a “Deal Breakers List.” Write down your top ten deal breakers. Then compare your relationship to your list.

Opposites do attract, but sometimes you can be incompatible with your partner.  If you’re a thrill seeker, always looking for the next adrenaline pumping adventure, then having someone grounded might be good, occasionally, but you won’t be getting your fix for new adventure.

Don’t worry, most relationship doubts are not all that serious and they dissipate within a few weeks.  It’s only when these doubts turn into real concerns, that we really consider breaking up.

After reading about how to deal with relationship doubts, I’d like you to check out more FREE content to improve your relationship. Learn how to rewind to a better life. One simple secret is all you need and it’s in my FREE video presentation . Click here NOW to get back to a blissful state. Don’t wait to erase your doubts TODAY.

I want to give you a three step solution to dealing with relationship problems.

These steps aren’t magic.  No one can promise instant bliss or a perfect relationship.  Anyone that does doesn’t know what they are talking about.  What I can offer you, though, is good advice about what I’ve seen works for couples who have had lots of problems and were able to work through them.

The first step is to realize there are no good guys and bad guys in this situation.  Obviously if there is violence or abuse in the relationship, then you need to leave, and there would be a bad guy there.  But in a normal relationship, you’ll find that with any argument you have, there’s always a different way of looking at things.  Maybe you’re at fault more than your partner, or vice versa.  Assigning blame is not really going to work in fixing your relationship.

The second step is to practice being a great negotiator.  Great negotiators always know how to communicate clearly and effectively by thinking not just from their own perspective, but also from the other side.  Negotiators are not going into a discussion thinking they are going to steamroll the other side, nor do they see everyone as opponents.

This is really important to success in any relationship.  It’s not just you!  Your partner has feelings and expectations as well.  How many of your arguments have started because you did something unilaterally and selfishly?  Did you try and negotiate, or did you run in and just say that you were going to just take what you wanted?

The third and final step is to get clarity.  It sounds a bit zen, but I’m talking about meditating or becoming enlightened.  It’s all about being rational about the state of your relationship.  If you feel that your partner is asking a lot of you or not pulling their weight, clarity will give you the ability to see all of your problems clearly.

So what do we do with these three steps?

You use them all the time. Whenever an argument starts or you feel like your relationship is in jeopardy, you remember these three keys, and focus on them.  Put yourself in the mindset of a negotiator, remember that in any conflict there are no good guys and bad guys, and focus on achieving clarity.  You’ll find much more relationship bliss if you apply these techniques.

After reading about how to work on your relationship problems, I’d like you to check out more FREE content to fix your issues . Learn how to rewind your relationship and make it better and stronger. One simple secret is all you need and it’s in my FREE video presentation . Click here NOW to get back to a blissful state. Don’t wait to have the best relationship of your life TODAY.