Breaking Up

Getting over an ex-girlfriend is not as hard as it might seem at first.  You may not feel that way, but trust me.

One thing that can really help you in getting over an ex-girlfriend is the principle of radical forgiveness.

Let’s go over some of the concepts of radical forgiveness.  

Forgiveness is one of the keys to moving on from anything.  You have to forgive yourself and you have to forgive others, it’s the only way you can be successful In getting over an ex-girlfriend.  Think about it and you’ll realize that the less forgiveness you have the more pain you have.

We have a hard time forgiving others when we’ve experience pain, hurt, and rejection from others in the past.  This is why it can be hard to forgive ourselves and blame ourselves when things go bad.  You don’t have to blame yourself for your relationship ending, and it’ll make it easier for you to forgive your girlfriend.

The first step is to have a management plan for dealing with difficult emotions. Wanting and desiring the process in getting over an ex girlfriend to occur faster teaches you that there are skills you need to learn.

When you need forgiveness, usually you’re experiencing a lot of pain and suffering emotion, which means you probably have a lot of negative thoughts. Getting over an ex-girlfriend involves coming face-to-face with lots of pain.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that developing a strategy to deal with negative emotions is the way to get over them faster.  

It works the same as if you owned a business, Just as you must have a strategy to deal with problem customers, you have got to have a strategy in your life to deal with problem emotions and thinking patterns. In getting over an ex-girlfriend you are learning how to deal with negative emotions and feelings. Us guys are usually pretty bad at that on average, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn.

The best strategy is to simply become aware of them, to allow them to occur and not fight them, because this just makes them stronger and to be able to release them from yourself.

You need to feel these negative emotions.  Once you feel them and experience them fully, it becomes easier to just let them go.

Sometimes meditation can be a powerful way of focusing your inner life.  

The second aspect is to think about what’s positive about this bad situation, to realize that this pain and suffering is there to teach you some things, so think about the other person, think about what you’re having most difficulty with and ask your self, what’s the lesson here?

What am I being taught?

What do I need to learn and what’s the hidden meaning for me personally?

And the next aspect of practicing radical forgiveness is to practice forgiveness often, look for any ways that people bother you where you’re off and look to practice forgiving them daily and feel the pleasure that comes with loosening this emotional load daily. Getting over an ex-girlfriend might be the first application of radical forgiveness in your life but I’m certain there are more.

Forgiveness feels good, it lowers the pressure you put on yourself, it lowers the expectations you might be unfairly putting on yourself, and it makes us feel a lot more relaxed and happy. So learn to practice it daily and you’ll get better with it or better at it all the time. Start getting over an ex girlfriend by practicing radical forgiveness.

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Having trouble getting over an ex-boyfriend?  I know, it’s a big life change and you might be difficult dealing with.  

That tool also provides the key to getting over an ex-boyfriend.

One of the most powerful principles that you need to learn if you are having trouble getting over an ex-boyfriend is the “power of acceptance.”

The power of acceptance is a very key strategy in the process of healing and growth. It’s central to getting over an ex-boyfriend.  You need to learn to forgive yourself and you need to learn to give yourself time to heal.

I want to give you three practical ways how you can use the power of acceptance in your relationship and in with this break-up, around with the difficulties you’re experiencing in regard to your ex. Using this you will be getting over an ex boyfriend in record time.

In this case, you need to apply “radical acceptance” to your problem!

The first aspect of radical acceptance is accepting that life is going to include suffering, it’s going to include pain, it’s going to include difficulties, and life is going to be a real bitch sometimes. You start with getting over an ex-boyfriend by understanding that life is going to be really hard at times.

What is radical acceptance?  It’s the idea that you should love yourself no matter what.  If you love yourself no matter the cost, no matter what happens, then your self-esteem will survive any ups and downs you might have, including breaking up with an ex-boyfriend.

When you can accept this and understand it you become a lot more realistic and bad things happen to you and you learn how to deal with them in a much more positive way. In getting over an ex-boyfriend you learn a lot of things about yourself that’s for certain. Things will get better though.

You become a little bit more a survivor than being a victim.

The second aspect in radical acceptance is about accepting things we can’t change and there are probably things in respect of you and your ex-boyfriends and your previous relationship that you can’t change, no matter how hard you try. In getting over an ex-boyfriend you realize that some things can’t be changed no matter how much they hurt. So it’s usually time to accept them.

And you want to bring a very strong sense of acceptance to these things because the more acceptance you have the more peace you’ll have, the more happiness you’re going to experience and the better you will feel.

So look to bring acceptance to the things that give you pain that you can’t change because having a lack of acceptance about these things is going taught you and the third aspect of radical acceptance is that, this is a practice. In getting over an ex boyfriend you begin to realize acceptance is a process to practice. Like playing the guitar. No-one masters acceptance instantly.

The reason people call things ‘practices’ are because you never really master it, you just get better with practice. In getting over an ex-boyfriend you realize that by practicing this it gets better with time and you need to be patient with the process.

Same with martial arts, no one has ever totally mastered any form of martial arts, even if you’ve been doing it your whole life.

The reason it’s called a practice is because you get better and better in time and the more practice you do, the better you get.

This is same with radical acceptance; I don’t think any of us will ever get the concept of radical acceptance to its complete full application.

What we can do is practice it daily, you can get better at it, you can get more experience with it and when bad things happen to us, we’ll have a very powerful coping strategy to deal with these negative events and that’s called radical acceptance. You also be getting over an ex-boyfriend much quicker than without it.

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The past is the past.  Give the past a funeral.  This is how to get over an ex-boyfriend.

You cannot change the past.  It’s over with.  Internalizing this fact of life is the key to so many different problems we face, including how to get over an ex-boyfriend.  I recently saw an episode of “Political Animals,” where the main character says that if you look toward the past, you cannot go on to the next great moment.

I know, this sounds like empty platitudes.  You need real, actionable advice that you can implement RIGHT away so that you can start feeling better.  A breakup can make the world stop spinning.  It can make life seem gray and almost lifeless.  Here are some things you can do right this second, from this moment on, to get over that ex-boyfriend.

Leave the house right this instant!  Get up, go outside, and start doing things you like doing. You cannot dwell on what’s happened, and you cannot sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.  You’ll enter into a cycle of self doubt and self hatred. The worst thing to do when getting over an ex-boyfriend is to allow yourself to be isolated.  You will begin to think the worst of the situation, and of yourself.

Do not  try to just dive into a new relationship right off the bat.  I This is called “dating someone on the rebound” and it can end poorly.  I have never heard a case of a healthy, long term relationship forming from a rebound relationship.  I know you want to have a boyfriend around.  It made you feel protected, safe, and above all, it made you feel like you were really wanted.  However, looking for a rebound partner is going to significantly lower your standards, and that’s never a good thing.

After you get outside and start doing things that will take your mind off of your ex-boyfriend, you can finally have your funeral.  Take the things that remind you of him, maybe a rose or a letter he wrote, put them in a box, and send them off to see.  Some people burn their old knickknacks, while others take their box of stuff and stash it in the closet to never be seen again.

Now that you’ve read about how to get over an ex-boyfriend, check out more info on how to improve your future relationships. My FREE video presentation shows you how to “rewind” relationships to keep things strong. Click here NOW to see the secret behind every happy, successful relationship.

Do I need couples therapy? That’s a question you can be faced with and you might be unsure whether to do it or not.Couples therapy, do you need it?

Couples therapy can work wonders for a relationship on the rocks and may be necessary to save your marriage.  However couple’s therapy is not for everyone, and you may be wondering if it’s even necessary or whether or not it works in the first place.  Hundreds of people go to see a couple’s therapist and achieve great results, while others find that their relationship falls apart regardless, so there are a few things to consider.

First off, couples therapy is not cheap.  A competent couples therapist can cost anywhere from $75-$150 per hour!  This means you have to really research any therapist you’re considering and decide whether or not the price is worth it.  You can usually save money by going to a couples retreat, especially if you feel the need for a vacation, as the retreats are usually group therapy and cost a bit less.  Be sure that your therapist is accredited and try to research to see if they have a lot of success with other couples.

Who seeks out couples therapy?

You normally seek couples therapy when you are experiencing problems in your relationship that seem to have no end in sight.  Sometimes people carry baggage or emotional pain from a previous relationship, and it manifests itself negatively in their current relationship.  This happens a lot with married couples with children, where the stress of daily life and raising children makes keeping up a relationship more difficult.  In these cases, many couples slip into having a sexless marriage, and divorce seems imminent.  In such cases, a marital therapist might be just the trick.

A couples therapist is also great if you find that your relationship is filled with strife and arguments.  If your evenings usually devolve into a screaming match, then a couples therapist can help work through your issues.  The best thing about most couples therapists is that they are intensive, where you work with a professional in a quiet, controlled setting.  This usually helps both you and your partner remain calm and freely talk about your innermost feelings.

Anything else I should know?

Be very careful with couples therapy though, because the results may not be what you expected.  Some couples leave therapy and decide that it’d be best if both people went their separate ways.  Most couples therapists will not recommend for either partner to remain in the relationship if it would have a negative effect on either.

Couples therapy isn’t for everyone.  For minor problems, you can save a lot of money and time by just purchasing books or taking time out of your schedule and talking the problem out with your partner.  If you are constantly fighting or feel that there are deeper issues in your relationship that neither you nor your partner really have a handle on, then couple’s therapy may be the best investment.

Now that you’ve seen the advantages and disadvantages of couples therapy, I’d like to show you a short video that will help you rekindle all those blissful flames of desire you once had with your lover. It’s possible to rewind your relationship. All you need to know is one simple secret and my FREE video presentation will show you how. Click here NOW to revitalize the passion in your relationship. You owe it to yourself…and your lover.