Couples Therapy

Live in NYC? Figure out how to find the best therapist available…

In New York City, there are many different couples therapists available. It can be daunting to know whom to trust with the intimate details of your relationship and which therapist or practice will be the most effective.

The first thing you need to do is decide what kind of orientation you feel most comfortable with. There are a multitude of different psychological orientations that therapists practice. Many therapists take an eclectic approach and use several orientations in their sessions. However, it’s good to take a look at the orientations used in clinical practice and determine the best fits for you. Then, armed with this information, you can begin the search for your couple’s therapist.

One site, Psychology Today, has a great “Find A Therapist” resource. It lets you search for therapists near your zip code and it gives you a brief bio as well as the therapist’s orientation. Head there for – Couples Therapy NYC – and to find a therapist.

Remember that you won’t be alone in taking this important step in saving your relationship. Thousands of Americans choose to see therapists every day and seeing someone to help you repair a relationship isn’t just okay, it’s wonderful. Don’t give up on your relationship before you’ve looked at things objectively with the help of a professional. Most couples can take hard looks at their behaviors and thoughts, and then find ways to fix their current problems.  Be open and willing to learn from your therapist and you’ll find that your relationship can become healthy and happy once again.

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Couples therapy is actually vital for any long term relationship that encounters problems, and believe me, most relationships encounter problems.

When you made the decision to marry your partner, you most likely gave a vow promising to love that person forever despite the obstacles you might face. Sound familiar? Choosing to go to couples therapy is a way to reaffirm that commitment and try to fix your relationship before giving up.

Couples therapy can never be overlooked and cannot be overrated.  Do not think that all of your problems will magically work themselves out.  Sometimes you need a professional who can see things that you normally cannot.  You also need someone to dump a cold bucket of water and get you focused on what is actually going on in your relationship . All too often we wear blinders to reality when we are in an emotional state.

When looking for a couple’s therapist, make sure that he or she is accredited by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). These therapists have special training in marriage and family therapy (hence the name) and are more likely to be competent marriage therapists. A common problem with couples therapy is that many therapists do not have much training in the subject and are not equipped with the tools to handle marital counseling.

Do not get snookered in by marriage or couples counselors that promise a lot or want you to sign up for their expensive retreats in the middle of Wyoming. You wanna know about their methodology and you want to know if they get results.

Oftentimes, marriage counseling is short term and usually both partners must be present. There are many reasons why you may be seeking this kind of therapy. It can help to enhance the bold between you and your spouse as well as better appreciate one another. If you are having problems, it can be one way to address those issues ranging from communication, sexual relations, anger, affairs, and financial troubles. Together it can be difficult to look at things objectively, but an outside opinion can illuminate these problems for both of you. It can help you make better decisions and find the roots of your marital difficulties.

One of the best things about making the decision to go to couples therapy is that you can also make the decision to leave. If your counselor isn’t a good fit, it’s perfectly acceptable to find another. Although therapy can be difficult and you will be forced to question many of your actions, behavior and cognitive thoughts, it’s a great way to learn more about yourself and strengthen your relationship with your partner.

Another option that’s similar to couples therapy – but is a fraction of the cost – is to follow a guide that shows you how to rewind your relationship. You’ll still learn about yourself and your partner in a way that helps you grow together. It’s like a clean slate…another chance at what you once had together. Watch my FREE video presentation to learn how…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

If your marriage isn’t working, it can be helpful to try various couples therapy techniques. 

One of the first things to identify is the cycle that you are currently wrapped up in. This can be a difficult and time-consuming process, which is one reason why finding a couples therapist may be the necessary next step.

Identifying the cycle itself is a complex process. Some couples find themselves in a vicious cycle of blame. One person chooses to go out to eat a few times a week spending unnecessary money when things are tight. That person may feel that they need that time to get away and de-stress, while the other only sees it as a loss of money. Perhaps this is the beginning of the ‘blame cycle’ for this couple and once this fight begins, the two will blame each other for dozens of other transgressions. This is what needs to stop if your marriage is to survive and then thrive.

You must stop the cycle.

A talented and competent couples therapist can help you identify the cycle and work with you to develop a plan to cripple the cycle. Once crippled, the cycle will head towards it’s own demise. If you cannot afford a couples therapist (though check with your insurance because it may be more affordable than you think) then you may wish to attempt to identify and stop the cycle yourself.

To stop the cycle:

  1. Look at why you get upset, sad, jealous, and/or frustrated. Identify the emotional response that you are having and look for the WHY.
  2. Determine what can be done about the WHY. Is there a behavior that needs to be stopped? What are you doing and what is your partner doing? Is it something that is outside of your relationship but is wreaking havoc in your relationship because of the way you feel? What could be a suitable alternative? Spend some time in thoughtful self-reflection and then discuss this WITH your partner. Two perspectives and perceptions are always better than one.
  3. Believe that things can change. If you don’t believe things can get better, you won’t see results. Trust yourself and trust your partner.

With these couples therapy techniques, you can begin to locate your problems within your marriage and actively work to fix them. Keep in mind that a caring, supportive, and understanding professional is really the best person to guide you through these couples therapy techniques. If you can afford it and if you are both willing, it would be best to let a professional embark on this journey with you.

Because you just finished reading about couples therapy techniques, watch my FREE video presentation while it’s still online. See more techniques that you can use immediately. Learn about the 4 stages of a breakup and you’ll know how to always rewind to a blissful state. Watch the video NOW and stop failing in your relationships.

What I recommend to do if you have a fight with wife is to turn your normal strategy upside down.

Fighting with your wife?
Talking to the hand is not getting on her wavelength!

You’ve probably had fights with your wife when you were dating, so is handling it really so different when you’re married?  It can be.

Always remember to remain firm and assertive.  You do not want your wife to lose respect for you by thinking you’ll just agree with her on everything and do whatever she says.  You’re married because she was attracted to you for being a man, so do not think just because you and she are married that you suddenly have to agree with everything.  Remember, being assertive does not mean being a jerk.  It’s just means you understand your own boundaries.

If you find yourself having lots of fights with your wife, then you need to take a moment, calm down, and think through the situation logically.  Is she just releasing stress and you get goaded into having a fight?  Is she criticizing you and thinks you aren’t providing enough for the family?  Does she think you go with your friends too much.  You need to think about the fight from her perspective, but always remember to maintain your own boundaries and what you want.

Sometimes women see men as projects, they think they can change you the way they want to change you.  Now that you’re married, she may think that her project is complete, but then you remind her that you’re your own man.  She may try to push again to get you to change your behavior, but then you don’t go along with it.  In these cases, remain firm so long as your behavior is not having a negative effect on yourself.

Sometimes women think you spend too much time out with your friends, at the bar, or doing other things besides being home and caring for your family.  Now that men work more and have more demanding careers, it might be not possible for you to take less time at work to be with your family.  If you find that you almost never see your kids and your wife is left home alone a lot though, it might be time to rethink your career and make a change.  Think about what your life might be like in 20 year and really consider if your job is worth not seeing your children grow up.  This will help put things in perspective, and maybe your wife’s criticisms won’t seem so harsh.

If your wife is starting a lot of unnecessary fights and you’re wondering why your relationship is now filled with stress and strife, there may be infidelity afoot.  Sometimes, when one partner cheats on the other, they feel guilty for their infidelity and act out in their main relationship.  Keep an eye on your partners activities and make sure that this is not the case.

Now that you’ve learned how to deal with fights, I’d like to show you a short video that will help you rekindle all those blissful flames of desire you once had with your lover. It’s possible to rewind your relationship and make it better than ever before. You just need to know one simple secret and my FREE video presentation will show you how. Click here NOW to revitalize the passion in your relationship. You owe it to yourself…and your lover.

Relationship issues are difficult to deal with. They can ruin your life if left untreated. One of the cornerstones of happiness is the state of one’s relationships. Take care of yours. 

Relationship Issues
Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the best ways to solve relationship issues.

I want to encourage you to solve your relationship issues by using cognitive behavior therapy, also known as CBT. CBT offers ways to understand your relationship issues and find solutions for them.

What CBT is about? It doesn’t sound like something that could actually help my relationship issues. I understand that you may feel hesitant to enter therapy to deal with your relationship issues, but it really is one of the best ways to clearly identify the problems and resolve them. You are always free to leave whenever you like, but I promise – it will do wonders for your personal life.

So what is CBT about? It’s about changing your thinking patterns into something more positive. You can fix your relationship issues by starting with your mind. It helps you to change the way that you respond to different things, building more awareness about the various associations that you have. It helps you find new ways of thinking about your problems that make you both happier and stronger.

Different people often respond in different ways to the same events. This is where CBT is helpful. It looks at the individual reasons for your responses. You are not factored into a formula, but instead addresses as an individual.

In your relationship, you may be responding to things negatively. You need to find ways to respond positively. CBT can help you determine why you are responding negatively and how you might respond positively. Other people who are going through similar things may respond to a situation with humor or consider it an avenue for personal growth. This is what CBT is all about. CBT is about finding the most healthy and most powerful ways to think about events in your life that previously you may have responded to negatively.CBT helps you to analyze your life and accept your surroundings, your behavior and your actions. It helps you to work with these three facets and discover hidden positives.

It is important to note, however, that CBT is not a method that you can administer on your own. It requires a trained professional to spend time with you, helping you to work through your thoughts and process your emotions. Because CBT looks at your thought patterns, it is difficult for you to do alone. You cannot adequately address your own thought patterns and see your thoughts objectively. Find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and are able to share your intimate thoughts. Together, you will be able to work through the issues surrounding your relationship and your life.

At the end of therapy, you’ll see yourself as more of an optimistic person who can positively frame events in his or her life.  You’ll also notice that your relationship issues are fading away. By working to better understand your patterns of thinking, you’ll grow as an individual and create better relationships in the future. Just because you’ve lived with various patterns of thinking doesn’t mean that you must continue living with them. Find a therapist today who specializes in cognitive behavioral treatment (CBT), put in the hard work, and watch as your life begins to reflect a happier you!

With your understanding of relationship issues, learn more with my FREE video presentation. Understanding the 4 stages of a breakup will help you avoid the most common issues couples face. Click here NOW to learn the key secret to a better, stronger relationship.

Relationship counseling not just for when you’re in a crisis, but for when your relationship needs a tune up.  You have to make sure that you find the right counselor for you!

Relationship counseling can be urgent if anger is involved. Anger can lead people to do dangerous things that they regret later. Get into relationship counseling before you or your partner choose to do something that ruins your relationship forever.  Relationship counseling is also effective BEFORE problems arise, that way you’re emotionally prepared for any rocky periods in your relationship.

The best kinds of relationship counseling focus on anger issues.  Latent anger in a relationship leads to depression and it also leads to emotional breakdowns.  Relationship counseling that deals with anger management is the best bang for your buck.  I cannot tell you how much it helps with getting your relationship back on track.  Remember, you want to head off problems before they start.

What do you mean by anger?  How is it a problem in relationships?

I want to talk about three different types of anger. Then I’m going to teach you how you can learn to deal with anger better and manage it more effectively.One thing about relationship counseling is that you can release the anger pressure valve.  Anger management should be part of relationship counseling.  If it’s not, you need to find someone else.

The first sort of anger is anger with your partner. It’s good to understand that this anger comes from you. While your partner may be doing something that is upsetting you, you are the one who is angry. You are in control of your own anger.

You are in control of yourself

Another important thing to remember is actually an old proverb: You can’t give something away that you don’t have. I realize that when I’m getting angry with other people that it may not have that much to do with them. It may be because of unresolved issues that I have. It’s difficult to get angry at people when you don’t have unresolved feelings inside. It’s usually those unresolved feelings that cause the anger problems to begin with. With relationship counseling you want to get all of that out so that there is nothing left to create anger with.

I’ve also noticed that most of my anger comes when I’m tired. Part of relationship counseling is identifying what your triggers are. What makes you upset and how do you respond? Some things will inevitably upset you more than others. Knowing what those are will help you create a proper coping mechanism.

Find ways to soothe yourself. Regardless of your triggers, you will have to have a plan that helps you feel calm. Think about the patterns you create when you are angry with your partner. Think about the sort of things that cause it and disconnect from that thinking.

The second type of anger is latent anger.

If you are a generally angry person, then this is something that you want to address instantly. This may not require your partner to be present. This may be more of a personal thing.

And the third type of anger is anger aimed at the self.

This is, in my opinion, the worst type of anger. It contributes to the other kinds of anger and it not only creates problems within your relationship but it also creates problems within your life.

If you are angry with yourself, it means that you lack self-compassion. It cripples your self-esteem and makes you feel terrible. You really put yourself down. This isn’t healthy and it will definitely hurt your relationship. In addition to relationship counseling, someone who is constantly angry with themselves may need to seek private therapy.

To create the best possible foundation for your relationship, you need to eliminate anger. And eliminating anger can happen best with relationship counseling.

With your understanding of relationship counseling, learn more with my FREE video presentation. It’ll teach you how to avoid anger and frustration. Understanding the 4 secret stages of a breakup gives you a roadmap to success. Click here NOW to learn the secret…

Looking for relationship advice is a smart idea.  But, how do we sift through all of the so-so advice?

So you need some relationship advice?  Maybe everything is going well.  You and your partner have a great dating life, but you don’t know how to take things to the next level.  Maybe you have been dating for awhile, and you’ve git a snag and do not know exactly what to do.  That’s alright.  There are hundreds of thousands of people in the same position, and so many soothsayers offering advice.  How do you know what’s right for you?

One of the most common phrases I’ve got for you, if you want to start to really improve the quality of your relationship is to understand the saying “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.”  What this means is that we need to be satisfied with what we have and not be jealous of what simply looks better.

Being satisfied with your relationship as it is is actually the best relationship advice I could give to anyone.  If everything is going fine, then you’re doing great!  Be happy!  There are so many couples out there with really deep, complex problems.  If you’re not in that position, then focusing on the positive will keep you from making mountains out of mole hills.

Another big piece of real relationship advice is to realize that relationships are about making us better people.  You are with someone because they make you a better person or help you find out about yourself.  If that’s your attitude towards relationships, then you’ll find that you respect yourself and your partner will respect you.

Relationships with no respect are poison.  If one partner does not have respect for the other, then that means the relationship is vulturous, where one partner just wants to extort something from the other.  I’ve seen this all too often.  A man takes a girl out on a date.  She’s not that into him, but she continues to go out with him because he gives her lavish gifts and money.  She eventually dates him for awhile, but cheats on him, and hurts his feelings.

It’s a sad story, but it tells us something: the oxygen of relationships is respect, and respect comes when we value ourselves.  If we don’t value ourselves, then really, how can we expect anybody else too?

Always remember, dating is supposed to be fun and exciting. It was never meant to be a grind or as a source of exasperation.  If you keep that mindset while going out on dates or wondering how to tackle the next problem in your relationship, you can never go wrong.

Now that you’ve read about relationship advice, check out more info on how to have the best relationships of your life. My FREE video presentation shows you how to do a “rewind” when things get stale. Click here NOW to see this powerful secret.

There are a few critical elements in being certain about how to fix a relationship. Different strategies are going to have a very different likelihoods of success.

I want to encourage you at this point in time to consider doing something big to change your relationship. When you want to know how to fix a relationship you might be looking for a quick-fix rather than what is going to help you the most.  If your relationship is on the rocks, you may need major surgery.

Sometimes when you’ve got problems with your relationship one of the difficulties we face is that we can’t make small changes.  They don’t help.  

You may make slight improvements or little steps here or little steps there, but sometimes it’s some sort of radical change that delivers you the most results. Figuring out how to fix a relationship is worth the cost, no matter how high.  Your happiness and your peace depend on it.

It might be moving cities, it might be doing something together as a couple you may never have dreamed of, or it might be totally changing your direction in life. To determine how to fix a relationship is to be willing to do whatever it takes.

A lot of relationship problems come from one of the partners not being happy with their life, so it might be time to look at changing careers, starting your own business, or changing the priorities of your life. Perhaps your priorities have been unhealthy, or maybe it’s time to make your relationship, your health or your happiness your main priorities in life.

There are ways to do it.  I knew a couple that once dropped everything and moved to Guatemala to do mission work.  They sold their house, left their jobs, even bought brand new clothes and suitcases to help poor Guatemalan children.  The work was rewarding, and they rediscovered each other as a couple.

I highly recommend if you’re considering change to consider some sort of radical change in your life. Make it big, make it dramatic and make it transformational. Don’t play around with small ideas on how to fix a relationship – be willing to really step it up and make sweeping changes to yourself and your relationship.

What you want to do is hit every option with a really great attitude. Nothing says you want the relationship to work more than making a big decision, making a big change, and by turning things upside down. When people want to learn how to fix a relationship they usually start to become aware that small improvements aren’t going to cut it.

Knowing how to fix a relationship might teach you that you’ve got to really turn things on their head. You’ve got to be open to the idea that everything you’ve been doing to this point has been wrong with trying to make your relationship work.

Be very willing to change everything and anything that’s going to make your relationship bullet-proof. Figure out how to fix a relationship by experimenting with major improvements and sitting down with your partner and plotting a completely new course. Consider making some dramatic and lasting changes and do these together.

Many couples that decide to do something major together end up being bonded through that process. It’s a shared adventure.  Looking for how to fix a relationship might be a sign that you need to go on a different path in life together. So be open to that whatever it might be.

Now that you’ve thought about how to fix your relationship, check out more FREE content to keep your relationship solid. Rewind your relationship if it’s gone bad and make it blissful again. My FREE video presentation will show you exactly how to have incredible relationships for the rest of your life. Click here NOW to learn how.

When you want to know how to find a couples therapist it’s worth investing the time and energy into making the right decision. Your relationship (and your happiness) depends on it.How to find a Couples Therapist

It’s probably confusing if you want to get a couples therapist – you want to make the right decision, you want to know how you can choose the right person that’s going to make the biggest difference to your relationship.

I’ll give you some very clear advice on how to find a couples therapist so you can have full confidence that you made the right decision.

I got to say that in my opinion I would choose someone with a little bit of bias and the bias I’m talking about is when they want to help you make your relationship a success. Sometimes a problem with therapy or counseling is that it can be a little bit directionless.

Understanding this really is the key to knowing how to find a couples therapist. Discovering how to find a couples therapist is really mostly about understanding how couples counseling differs from individual therapy. It’s completely different.

It can be good to ask and be asked questions and to talk about your difficulties and open a medium from communication like you do in normal one-on-one therapy but there’s a lot of value in having someone who wants to facilitate your relationship getting better. Finding out how to find a couples therapist is really about getting someone that is focused on fixing your relationship.

They have a bit of bias and that bias is towards making a relationship a success because then you can actually work out a bit of a plan, you can implement strategies and there’s a much better chance to figure relationship going well.

I’d say that one of the goals is to make sure your marriage is strong or if you’re in a serious relationship to make sure it works out and you want to make sure that your therapist has this goal in mind. Discovering how to find a couples therapist is about getting someone that wants your marriage to work out and has systems and a structure to help you do just that.

Now it may not turn out the way you like and they may not end up being how to find a solution but I do believe you have a much greater chance of success if your therapist has an active focus to try and make the relationship work.

Identifying how to find a couples therapist will be closely related to that person’s ability to encourage you both to just have quite a positive solution oriented approach.

The problem with very directionless therapy is that you can sometimes not even get anywhere.

You can talk about your feelings and your problems but if the therapist is taking the usual point of view of being unbiased – where they’re not interested in either helping your relationship succeed or breaking it down – you end up sometimes a bit more confused in the end as in you are at start. You’ll know how to find a couples therapist by if you can really get that you want someone completely biased – in helping you fix your marriage.

So make sure you choose a therapist or counseling that has a bit more of a positive result space focus. Not one that will just take an independent unbiased perspective. This way you can trust how to find a couples therapist that will benefit you fully.

Find someone who is keen to help you get your marriage back on track and to make your relationship work. You’ll find how to find a couples therapist and not just find one – get one that will really get your marriage back on track.

Getting good relationship help takes the stress out of your life and gets you on the right track.  

There can be many problems that come up in a relationship. Arguments over chores, money, sex, your family, friends, priorities, and your future are all common areas of concern. Finding relationship help will allow you to properly work through these issues together

I can’t give you a solution on this page for the thousands of different possible problems that you can encounter in your relationship, but I want to give you some relationship help that will give you some guiding principles should any of these things happen to you in your relationship. Lots of things that go wrong in a relationship are based on certain common themes.  Seeking relationship help is a wise decision.

There are three main facets of a good relationship.

The first is communication. When you are looking for relationship help you’ll see this one over and over again. That’s because communication is critical to the success of a relationship.

You’ve got to be a good communicator in any relationship. You need to have an open channel of communication and outlets for both of you to express yourself. The only way to have this kind of open communication is by being non-judgmental. Don’t take things personally and let your partner share with you.  If you are getting into the mindset of “I am right and my partner is wrong!” then you are heading down the path towards disaster.

The second thing that you will want to have is problem solving strategies. It’s important that as problems arise in your relationship, both of you know what to do to solve them. This is not only relationship help for the “right now” but it will help you in the long-run, throughout the course of your relationship.

You want to have different problem solving strategies that you use when you encounter difficulties in your relationship because they’re going to occur.

You should also accept that problems will arise in your relationship. No one has  a perfect relationship.  No one.

Don’t be too surprised when it happens to you. instead find relationship help and act early on your problems rather than letting them build.

Anyone can have a good relationship when everything is going well, but when things get difficult and problems arise that you weren’t anticipating – that can be the real test for a relationship.

The last principle I have for you is understanding how to sort your own problems out. Your problems affect your relationship and if you can find a way to balance your life than you will inevitably help balance your relationship. 

So if you’ve got problems, issues, external life forces, work problems, stresses, some sort of tragedy or trauma, then you want to develop good coping skills.  You cannot come home from your job so stressed that you cannot relax with your partner.

Make sure that you have interests outside of your relationship. Many times people seek relationship help for problems that arose because they spent too much time together. You need to have places where you get your self-esteem, you get your happiness and you get your enjoyment out of life.

Relationships require work and they require effort, but it’s worth it. You know that, that’s why you’re reading this.  Follow this advice and you won’t need relationship help any longer because you will find yourself within a loving, balanced, healthy and happy relationship.

Now that you’ve thought about my relationship advice, check out more FREE content to get even more great dating recommendations. Rewind your relationship and make it fresh again. My FREE video presentation will show you exactly how to have incredible relationships for the rest of your life. Click here NOW to learn how.