Dating

New couples, whether of the recently married or recently “official boyfriend/girlfriend” status, often struggle with trust issues in their relationship. Being able to trust your relationship is one of the most important predicators to a healthy, lasting relationship. For those who may be struggling with building trust in their relationship or would just like to enhance the existing trust in their relationship, these tips will guide you there.

Trusting your partner is a key factor in building a healthy, lasting relationship together.

The first step to building a strong level of trust in your relationship is telling the truth, almost all of the time. I say almost because a surprise birthday party is still okay. Everything else though, really needs to be honest. When someone is truthful with you and you are truthful with them, you are able to rely and depend upon one another. For any kind of relationship, this is crucial.

The second step is being a reliable and dependable person in the relationship. If you tell your partner that you’ll be home at a certain time or that you will bring home the groceries, do it! Following through on what you say is important when building trust in a relationship.

Next, set boundaries. Jealousy has a way of ruining relationships and crushing trust. It’s best to set boundaries with your partner. If you know it upsets her when you take phone calls with your ex, then don’t set out for lunch dates with your ex. Respect one another enough to follow boundaries. While no one should be completely restricted, it helps to know what is upsetting to one another and doing your best to avoid those things.

Another important step in order to trust your relationship requires being trustworthy yourself. If your partner cannot trust you, then how will they be able to commit to the relationship? They will be worried as well and the two of you will be ruminating over the lack of trust present in the relationship. If you are trustworthy and your partner is right to trust you, then he or she can trust you as well. Remember, relationships are mutual and most definitely not one-sided. If he or she cannot trust you, how do you expect to be able to trust your partner?

Lastly, trust in yourself! You have decided to be with this person right now, in this moment. Something inside told you that this person was a good fit, a perfect match. Let yourself cherish the relationship rather than worrying about it’s demise. Trust in your own judgement and believe that the relationship is not only worthwhile, but one that you can feel safe in.

Trust is one of the aspects in relationships that keeps people together. If you look at any lasting relationship, a strong foundation of trust exists. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, for it to be successful, both parties must trust one another. If you have a particularly difficult time trusting others, it may be something that you need to address more openly. Sometimes trust issues work against not only romantic relationships, but relationships with friends, family members, and mentors. Remember that you’ve chosen to be with this person and trust yourself. Be someone that your partner can trust and he or she will trust you. While trust is not always the easiest thing to cultivate, it is definitely a quality that can be cultivated with the proper time and commitment.

We grow up on Hollywood movies that promise us our lives will one day have the perfect man or woman and we will live together, happily ever after. The reality is that life doesn’t always fall into place and it certainly won’t fall into place on its own. We would like to think that if we sit back and remain open to the experience, someone who fits our every need and want, will magically appear. We would like to think that love will find us all on its own.

There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to be with someone. Knowing that you have a companion for life, someone to cherish and hold on to as you make your way through life. It makes sense. The problem occurs when we become complacent. We sit back and wait for this “happily ever after” to come knocking on our door.

Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. Go meet people doing what you love. These two met through a local hiking group.

I had this friend, Amy, who was always upset with her dating life. Over and over she would say to me, “Ryan, I just can’t find a guy that I like! Why aren’t there any decent men out there?” And do you know what I told her? I asked her, “Amy, where do you go to meet men?” She told me she went to the bar on occasion to find men. These are the two most common dating mistakes that I encounter in the women and men who come to me for relationship advice: not making active dating choices and not looking in the right places. Both leave you destined for failure.

#1. Not Making Active Dating Choices

The title of this article includes the phrase, “make it happen.” You have probably encountered this phrase before in your life, but have you ever really paid attention to it? To “make” something happen, you have to take an active role. Amy occasionally went to places to find men. Otherwise she stayed within her circle of friends. She wasn’t meeting many new men on a regular basis. It makes it difficult for a guy to ask you out if you aren’t around for him to ask. For men, it makes it difficult to ask a woman out if you aren’t meeting new women.

The first step that you have to take when looking to ask out someone or be asked out by someone…is meeting new people! Go places where you don’t know anyone or are likely to meet new people. Talk to others. Get to know them. Approach them. You don’t need to tire yourself out and it isn’t about going out every night. It is about choosing one night a week to  go somewhere new or that will enable you to meet new people.

This has become one of the biggest problems with creating new relationships. Too many of the people who come to me for advice have become complacent and are unable or unwilling to meet new people. To find a lasting relationship, you have to be willing to put forth the effort. Part of this means “making it happen” for yourself, instead of waiting at home “wishing it to happen.”

#2. Not Looking in the Right Places

Once you are ready to put yourself out there and willing to take an active role in your dating life, you need to make sure that you are looking in the right places. Remember my friend, Amy? She was looking for men at the bar. A bar usually isn’t the best place to find someone unless you’re looking for something that isn’t serious, but rather partying or perhaps someone else who loves to frequent bars. It’s unlikely that my friend Amy was going to find someone who matched her lifestyle. Sure, she likes to go out and party, but she wanted to find someone who shared her interests.

I suggested that Amy look in a number of places based on what she enjoys doing. Amy loves volleyball, biking, is a religious person, and loves movies. The best way to find someone else who enjoys these things would be to look for them at volleyball leagues, biking leagues, church/mass – wherever her religious services were held, and at the cinema or a film club. Of course it isn’t possible to join a variety of groups or leagues for the sole purpose of meeting someone. It is, however, practical to choose one or two things to join. Amy decided to join a beach volleyball league near her home and started frequenting a local indie film joint. While she hasn’t found her Prince Charming yet, her dating life has dramatically improved. She is meeting new people and going on dates with men who share her interests.

If you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, it helps to meet people who share some of your interests. It also helps to look for people who share similar lifestyles. The best place to meet these people is not at the bar. It’s at a place that

Not sure where to go? Check out http://www.meetup.com. This is a free site that lets you search your area for fun groups that match your interests. You would be amazed at the amount of groups available to join. You never know who might be waiting there for you! (PS. Some of the groups are actually speed dating groups! That can always be a fun experience if not a way to meet someone special).

No matter what way you choose to pursue a relationship, make sure that you’re giving it your all. It isn’t helpful to join a group and show up only to keep quiet. Introduce yourself to others and get to know them. At the very least, you’ll end up with a new friend. While it may not be possible to live forever “happily ever after,” you may find someone to bring along on life’s crazy journey by taking an active role in your dating life.

“I want girl friend,” exclaimed Billy, my friend’s 5-year-old son, the other night while I was visiting. Don’t we all, Billy, don’t we all? Having a girlfriend comes with many advantages, and even the most womanizing men still have the desire to love and be loved by a woman. But what are some of the great advantages that having a girlfriend entails, and how can it be better than being single? Well, here are a few reasons.

You will not feel lonely. Though being single is fun, you will still have that empty feeling lingering inside of you. Having a girlfriend feels this void. Not only will you have someone to care about you, but you will have someone to care for in return.

You will always have someone to talk to. When a girl cares about you, she also cares about what is going on in your life. If you had a rough day at work, you can always talk to her about it and she will find a way to make it better.

You will not be bored. If you have a girlfriend, you can hang out with her whenever you want. If your friends are not doing anything over the weekend, then you know you can always go out on a date with her. In actuality, spending time with her can be even more enjoyable than hanging out with your buddies.

You will have someone that will be there for you. When you are in the middle of a crisis, she will always care about you and will support you through it.

You will feel loved. This is one of the most amazing feelings in the world, and it is the greatest advantage of having a girlfriend.

Because of these reasons, and countless others that I did not mention, a girlfriend is wonderful to have. What man wouldn’t want one?

So you finally got that special man to be you boyfriend. But now how do you keep him? Many women have no lack in finding a guy; they just have trouble staying in a relationship with him. Though being boyfriend and girlfriend can bring you great joy, it can also bring stress and heartache. However, by following this advice, you will learn all the tricks on how to keep your boyfriend.

When you are in a relationship, it is always important to give your boyfriend his space. If you are clingy, demanding, and want to spend every second of your life with him, he will feel suffocated. Bad things happen when men feel suffocated, and he will most likely break up with you. Being overly-attached is a very bad thing because not only will it annoy your boyfriend, but it can also make you lose yourself. Focus on yourself and your own life too, not just your boyfriend.

Another mistake that women tend to make is being too self-absorbed to care about their boyfriend. Though it is important to give him his freedom, if you stop caring about him altogether, he will feel neglected. Men do not like to say out loud that they want to feel loved, but – in reality – they do. When you talk to him, make sure you listen to what he has to say too; don’t just talk about yourself the entire time. Ask him how work is going, what’s new in his life, and if anything exciting has happened to him lately. Show your interest and support him in his tough times!

By avoiding these two common mistakes, the risk of your relationship hitting the rocks will be much lower. Want to know how to keep your boyfriend? Give him his freedom, care about him, listen to him, and remember to have your own life in the process.

So you’ve made eye contact with that attractive man from across the room, but how do you make him want you? Though you may say that you will never be desirable to men, you are just letting your insecurities speak for you. Any woman can appear desirable – no matter her hair color, height, figure, skin tone, or facial structure. Instead, it relies on your body language, personality and attitude! By following these helpful tips, you will have him wanting you in no time!

The first step is to ooze confidence, because he will be able to pick up on it from a distance. Ignore your insecurities and focus on all of your great attributes. Doing this will make you feel good about yourself and will ultimately put you in a better mood. If you are happy with yourself and your life, people will be able to sense it because your body language will appear open and approachable.

Being approachable is essential for making him want you. If you stand in a corner with your arms crossed, you look uncomfortable and unhappy – therefore, you are unapproachable. No matter how beautiful you are, he will be intimidated by you for fear of you giving him the cold shoulder. He still may want you, but you will never know because he will not come up to you and strike up a conversation. By using proper body language, he will see that you are open for conversation and will approach you.

When he does decide to come over to talk to you, make sure to be interesting. Contribute to the conversation and be fun to talk to. If you are boring, he will not want you. Do not be afraid to flirt; in fact, flirting is essential in this situation. Make him feel good about himself and he will want to be in your company at all times.

Not all first dates have to be face-to-face. An online first date offers almost all the advantages of a regular first date without those feelings of stress and anxiety. Though some people say that online dating is faulty and will never spawn a relationship, they are wrong. Thousands of couples have met through online dating – couples that are happily married today! So do not listen to those people who are against online dates and try it out sometime!

But what can you consider an online date, exactly? One of the most popular forms of an online date is a video-chat conversation. Though you are not technically face-to-face, you can still see and talk to each other. This type of online first date is perfect if you are interested in someone who lives hundreds of miles away. Certain online dating sites will match you up with someone to go on a virtual date with, so that is another option as well.

One of the greatest advantages of an online first date is that it is far less stressful than a typical date. You do not have to worry about picking the right outfit, the right location, or any other excruciating details. The only part that matters is you and that special person getting to know each other.

With less distractions, you and that special someone can focus on your conversation more than anything else. Instead of judging you based on your looks, they will judge you based on your personality – which is a wonderful thing! Since you will not be face-to-face, you will not feel as nervous or terrified of opening up to each other.

Have you never been on an online first date? Go ahead; try it sometime, because it offers many advantages, is completely enjoyable and will not let you down!

Of all stressful first dates, one stands above the rest: the first Thanksgiving date. Though you have been on multiple dates with that special someone, this one is unlike all others. In any Thanksgiving date scenario, there are thousands of reasons you may have nightmares prior to the big day. If you and your significant other are planning on spending the day together, you have to deal with the stress of cooking an elaborate, impressive meal. If you are planning on visiting each other’s families, then you have to worry about making good impressions on them. However, do not fear. With these tips, your first Thanksgiving together will be a success!

If you and that certain someone are planning on spending the holiday at your place, it is no question that you will want to make it special. Though you may have no experience cooking, a turkey is a Thanksgiving staple. In order to make your dinner a success and impress that special guy or girl with your culinary talents (even if you really don’t have any), you have the options of enlisting the help of a few good cookbooks, watching instructional online videos, or – if you have no faith in your cooking abilities – buying dinner. Even if the meal is only mediocre, light some candles and let the romance make up for it!

If you plan on spending Thanksgiving together at a family get-together, you do not have deal with the stress of having to cook a dinner single-handedly. However, you may have to deal with the stress of having to meet your significant other’s family. After all, you want to make a good impression, don’t you? In order to do this, remember to be friendly, polite and respectful. They will definitely approve!

Though the thought of your first Thanksgiving date may leave you with feelings of anxiety, do not worry! Follow these tips and enjoy the holiday together.

Need some ideas on how to have an awesome first date?  There are a lot of things you can do that you may not have thought of.

Do you want a first date that stands above the rest? Do you want a date that can be qualified as “awesome?” Well, with these suggestions, you can have the first date of your dreams! Though it may seem difficult to come up with awesome first dates, with a little creative thinking, you can come up with a spectacular idea! So go ahead; impress that special someone with not only the date’s sheer awesomeness, but with your awesomeness too!

One idea for an awesome first date is a four wheeling adventure. Not only is it incredibly fun and exciting, but it will give you and that special someone the chance to talk and get to know each other better. If both of you share a four wheeler, it is the perfect opportunity to strike up some conversation. Though you may be covered in mud and dirt by the end of the date, it will be worth it!

What about going to a rock concert on a first date!  I went to a Led Zepplin concert with a date way back when and it was one of the best nights of my life.  Everything about the concert made the date a success.  We did mosh pitting and we sang all night long.  Let’s just say the night ended with us in the backseat of my car in the concert parking lot.

Another great idea is to hit up the bowling alley. Though the idea of wearing other people’s shoes may secretly terrify you, it’s only a small sacrifice – trust me! Bowling is both fun and humorous, especially when you consistently get gutter balls. Plus, in the process, you and that special someone will get to know each other between bowls. After you are done, you can continue the conversation over a delicious pizza!

Going to an amusement park is one of the coolest, most exciting first date ideas in existence; it’s always a great choice! Not only will you be getting to know that special someone you’ve had your eye on, but you will also get to ride adrenaline-inducing rollercoasters in the process! What can get better than that?

With these awesome first dates, you and that special someone are sure to have an incredible time together!

Do you like to bring flowers on a first date? Well, you are quite the gentleman! Though first date flowers are completely optional and are – by no means – a requirement, they can show that special lady that you have been thinking about her. Not only will this show her what a sweet guy you are, but it can also be a great way to kick off an amazing first date together.

Though some say chivalry is dead, they are completely wrong. I have never met a woman who did not enjoy being treated like a lady. Everyone likes to be respected and appreciated, and by bringing flowers prior to a first date, you are saying that you care. Since flowers are only optional, she will know you went the extra mile for your first date together.

Bringing flowers before a first date is a winning move, but it important that you remember to keep it sweet and simple. One of the biggest mistakes men make is showing up to that special girl’s door with an entire floral arrangement or multiple bouquets. Though she might appreciate that gesture when you are in a long-term relationship together, she won’t think it’s as appropriate for the first date. Instead of impressing her, it is likely to make her feel uncomfortable – especially if she has nothing to give you in return.

Since different flowers have different meanings, make sure you choose wisely. Though you can never go wrong with a single red rose (the ultimate symbol of love), you can also get more creative and stray from the norm. Tulips are beautiful flowers, and the colors have very specific meanings. Pink tulips will let that special girl know that you care about her, red ones will declare your love for her, and yellow ones say that you are hopelessly in love.

Bringing flowers on a first date is a decision that will show that special girl you care and will ultimately pay off in the end.

First dates are magical – or a nightmare.  Always remember to relax!

What can be more emotionally distressing that the thought of a first date? Not a whole lot, I can tell you! Even after you have made it past the initial stress of asking out that pretty girl or handsome guy, you are still faced with the pressure of the next step – making the date a success!

A first date can be incredibly nerve-wrecking, but it can also be an amazing and enjoyable experience! Though you may be asking yourself thousands of questions and stressing out, it is completely normal to be apprehensive. What will he/she think about me? Will I like them? How should I act? Is the date going to be fun or boring? However, try your best to ignore these questions and have confidence in yourself. Relax, have a good attitude, and hope for the best!

Do not panic too much about that first date, because it is likely that you will have a wonderful time! A first date is a great way to determine whether or not you have chemistry with that person you asked out, so getting to know each other is essential. In order to do this, come prepared with many interesting questions and conversation topics. Additionally, make sure you use good listening and speaking skills and are respectful to them the entire time.

One of the biggest mistakes people make on a first date is pretending to be someone they aren’t in order to impress the person they are on the date with. Though it might work for a short period of time, they will eventually see through it and realize you were being dishonest with them. Not only does this hurt the other person, but it hurts you in the process too.  You want to find someone who loves you for who you truly are, not the person you pretend to be.

A first date may have you stressing out, but just remember to have confidence in yourself and know that everything will work out for the best!