Falling Back In Love

What is the time when should you go to couples therapy?When Should You Go to Couples Therapy

The key to knowing when should you go to couples therapy is realizing the level of your current problems. You might wonder should you go to couples therapy at this point or wait… well, can you solve this on your own?

Try sitting down and talking openly with each other. Talk about your problems and ideas for solutions. Wait a week. See what happens. Is it working? If it isn’t, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed to fail. It merely means that you haven’t found the root causes of your issues and couples therapy can help.

Couple’s therapy is very good at pinpointing exactly what is going wrong and helping you to create a plan to fix it. When should you go to couples therapy depends on your feelings and your personal situation. Trust your instinct.

You didn’t arrive on this page by accident. It’s likely you need to go now.

Sometimes when you’re in a relationship you can get confused, you can have conflicts and you can be unsure exactly what’s causing a problem or what to do about it. Often it can be very beneficial to talk about things with an objective person.

A lot of times relationships have struggles. It isn’t always smooth-sailing as you probably already know. It can be difficult to know what to do or what is causing the problem. It’s most likely on a deeper level that you cannot find on your own. When should you go to couples therapy is… when you find that you are unable to fix the issues on your own.

It’s important when you are asking when should you go to couples therapy, that you recognize that earlier is better. Don’t let it wait until it becomes extremely difficult to fix.

Sometimes if you leave problems too long, they start to fester and end up becoming almost like a cancer in your relationship. When should you go to couples therapy? Now, before it’s too late. Sooner rather than later is an excellent principle. Take action. Don’t sit and wait.

so you use couples therapy as a way to let problems out in the open, to talk about them, to flush them out, to think about positive ideas and use it as a means to approach your relationship from a very assertive and powerful place. It’s a sign of intelligence to make up your mind about – when should you go to couples therapy? – and to go and do it.

A single rose is a beautiful reminder of your love and affection for your girlfriend/wife.

Have you thought about buying roses for your date? Most men have. It’s difficult to know when it is the appropriate time to give roses. Sometimes roses for your date can symbolize that you are serious about the relationship or they may label you as a romantic.  Other times, it can make it look like things are more serious than they actually are.

Valentine’s Day.

I don’t care what your girlfriend says, even on a first date, you should get a rose. If it’s the lover’s holiday then you need to get roses for your date. Even wives should get roses on Valentine’s Day. If your wife or your date has asked you for something else instead of roses that will evetually die and be thrown away, that’s okay. Get them something else but still get them one rose.

Giving roses is a tradition that stretches back to the Middle Ages.  Red was a sign of life and fertility.  Roses were also really expensive to raise, so only nobility could afford them.  Roses show up in a lot of romantic novels, including vampire novels because roses are often the color of blood.  The rose signifies so much in our modern culture.

However, it’s important to understand that there has to be more than just roses for your date. Any time that you surprise your girlfirend or your wife with a rose, it shouldn’t be as a make-up gesture. It should be purely because you love her and want to show her.

If you haven’t been paying attention to your girl and you’ve left her alone then roses will not help. A rose is only meaningful if the relationship is meaningful. To solve this conundrum, make sure that your relationship is meaningful and then enhance it with a rose!

Listening to your girl and acting as an equal in your relationship will go a long way. If you have a loving and kind relationship, then roses will symbolize your love in a moving way. Take the time to build a wonderful relationship with your significant other and then add romance.  Use roses creatively.  Try leaving a trail of rose petals to the bedroom.  Their scent is an aphrodisiac.

Another fun way to share roses is through unexpected moments. After your girlfriend has had a stressful day and comes over to hang out, you surprise her with a single rose. It’s a kind gesture that shows thought and planning. Whatever you do, just remember that it won’t mean anything if you just hand your girl a rose. You need to have an intimate connection with her before a rose will mean anything.

Let your rose not only be a symbol for love but be a symbol of the love within your relationship.

Since you’ve read about sending roses to your girl, my FREE video presentation will show you how to take it a step further and keep your relationship romantic. Don’t know the 3 proven steps to make this happen? Click here NOW to prevent any damage and she’ll be yours forever.

If you want to succeed in saving an estranged marriage, then you need to find the core of the problem.

An estranged marriage is usually because of special circumstances.  There are many reasons to be married, but to live completely apart from one another.  This is often due to one spouse having a mental illness or a terminal disease, or the relationship devolving to a point where neither partner really wants to take part in the other’s life, but they don’t feel like going through a divorce.  This is relationship limbo.

If your partner is sick or mentally ill, then life can be very difficult for you.  Watching your spouse in the hospital or mental illness ward is tough.  It is important you do not abandon them though.  We’ve all seen the tabloids with the husband who leaves his wife in a coma, or the man who drops his wife off at an asylum and is never seen again.  On the other hand though, if your wife is never going to get better or if you’re wife will never leave the asylum, what will you do with your future?

In some cases, it is alright to step away.  You can still maintain your legal rights regarding your spouse if they are terminally ill so you can make decisions about their medical care.  However, in some cases, you may not be legally able to divorce them, and might feel bad about seeking out new people.  You can be happy either way, just be sure you know what your’e doing.  There have been cases of people waking up from comas and their spouses having moved on.

If you are simply separated from your spouse, then you might need to read some of my articles on how to get your ex back.  That is, if you want to rekindle the old flame of your relationship.  If not, then you might want to simply break it off.  Leaving a relationship in limbo just heightens the emotional pain of any eventually break off.  Better to pull the band-aid off now.

Now that you’ve learned how to save your estranged marriage, don’t miss my FREE video presentation that’ll show you how to keep the passion strong after you reconcile. If you know the 4 stages of a relationship and which ones are the best to be in…you’ll never break up again. Click here NOW for one powerful secret to happiness.

If you want to stop divorce now then time is of the essence.  You need a game changer, and you need it NOW.

The way you’ve been thinking about marriage, isn’t working.

Maybe you’re stuck in a rut or maybe you’ve let problems in your marriage reach a boiling point, and now you have absolutely no idea what to do next.  This happens to a lot of couples, and you do not need to let this crisis consume you.  You can empower yourself.  You can stop your divorce now, as of right this second, if you follow some of these tested ideas.

1. Halt any stressful activities and slow down

Stress makes everything worse.  It can make arguments fiercer and it can make hurt feelings unbearable.  If you are leading a stress filled life, you will need to take a few days off to get your head together.  If work is unbearable, take a week off.  If your kids are too much, send them to their aunt’s.  You and your spouse have to be laser focused on each other during this time, or it falls apart.

2. Stop the blame game

One of the biggest reasons couples reach the boiling point of divorce is because they are stuck in a pattern of blaming each other without thinking about what they’re saying.  Yes, this is a harsh indictment of what goes on in a lot of relationships, but I’ve seen it wreck people’s lives.  If you want to stop your divorce now, you cannot sit there and blame your spouse for everything.

Remember, a lot of what strains a relationship is how we choose to react to things.  It’s really about the inner game, what goes on in the mind.  Think about it this way.  If your spouse is angry all the time, do you add to the anger by reacting in a hurt manner?  Do you try to shout them down? Does that strategy ever work?  It couldn’t  possibly work!

3. Work on being a world class communicator

Get a book or take a class if need be.  Dale Carnegie has written several books on the subject and there are of course the world famous Dale Carnegie courses you can take.  You cannot have a communication breakdown now.  This would tear apart the fabric of your marriage.  You must know exactly how to not only say what you want to say, but learn to get into the head of your listener and be sure they understand you the way you want.

Misunderstandings kill relationships.  We end up saying things to satisfy our own ego without really understanding where the other person is coming from.  This is marriage poison, and if you want to stop your divorce now, you need to get on this problem pronto!

Now that you’ve read about how to stop your divorce now, check out more powerful info on how to save your marriage. My FREE video presentation shows you how to “rewind” your relationship to a better, more blissful stage. Click here NOW to see the secret behind the rewind.

If your marriage is in trouble, and you’re looking for a book on stopping a divorce, there’s plenty to choose from.

How can I stop my divorce - can my marriage be saved with a Book?

No one wants to go through a divorce.  Your emotions will be put through a shredder, and in the case of children, you will find that your once happy family life will be filled with pitfalls and pain.  No one wants to go down this road if there is something they can do about it.  Maybe you’re in the market for books that can stop a divorce and repair your damaged relationship?  There’s quite a few on the market, and each has their own take on marital problems.

“Breaking the Argument Cycle: How to Stop Arguing Without Therapy,” is a good book for couples who might find it financially stressing to see a professional therapist, and instead want easy, practical tip to take the rancor out of a relationship plagued with screaming matches.  The author, Sharon Rivkin, is a couple’s therapist who has condensed her experience with couples who often argue into a book.  Most of the time, your arguments with your spouse can be over trivial, meaningless things, where the core problem lies somewhere else.  This book has exercises and tips on how to cut through the trivialities and get straight to the core of the problem.  It doesn’t just give you anecdotal evidence, but real things you can try out with your spouse, and see if it affects your relationship in a positive way.

“Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in World That Pulls Us Apart,” By William J. Doherty PhD, is another great book for couples who feel their relationship is on the rocks.  Doherty suggests that marriage requires a lot of active effort by both parties.  Most relationships fail because many people feel that their relationship was complete once they tied the knot.  Marriage is a journey, not an endpoint, suggests Doherty, and it’s good advice, especially to those who feel their marriage might soon be ending.  Doherty advocates for “intentional marriage,” or marriage where both partners are active daily in strengthening their bond.  As always, practical advice is always better than just hearing about other people’s lives, and this book has many exercises that build intimacy and break barriers between partners.

If you really want to cement your relationship and say “Goodbye!” to the possibility of divorce, then you should try Barry Cooper’s “Stopping the Epidemic of Divorce: Practical steps to stop divorce in its tracks.”  The books is light yet deals with a very heavy subject, and its designed to help people avoid the pitfall of divorce.  It’s painful honesty and rapier wit will leave you chilled, but at the same time, give you hope that there is indeed a way you can patch things up and avoid divorce.  The market is of course filled with other books on avoiding divorce, but these ones will provide you with a good head start.

Now that you’ve learned how to stop your divorce, I’d like to show you a short video that will help you rekindle all those blissful flames of desire you once had with your lover. It’s possible to rewind your relationship and make it better than ever before. You just need to know one simple secret and my FREE video presentation will show you how. Click here NOW to revitalize the passion in your relationship. You owe it to yourself…and your lover.

You need to know how to stop divorce, and you need to know it now!  I can understand what it’s like being in full panic mode, and here are some tips you can use RIGHT NOW to stop divorce.

When a marriage is on the brink of divorce, we feel like we’re in a house of cards that’s collapsing all around us without any help in sight.  It’s all too easy to go straight into panic mode when you think your spouse is about to leave you a Dear John letter.  Don’t sit there and do nothing!  Your partner needs to know that you value the marriage to the point that you’d do anything to save it.  This is so important right now, that I want you to reread the last statement until it gets into  your soul.

Take a break from work, the kids, in laws, and everything else that you feel is an encumbrance on your marriage, and whisk yourself and your spouse away.  So often I see couples on the brink of divorce because of financial problems, family problems, illness, and other outside influences.  You cannot expect to repair and heal your relationship in a state of panic.  You might not have much money, but try to remove yourself from your old environment to see your relationship with fresh eyes.

Once you do, it’s time to take a deep breath.  You’ve done a lot to help yourself already.  Most people don’t make it this far.  What you need to do now is to be brutally honest with yourself and air out all of your grievances with your wife.  Whether it’s finances, or adultery, or any problem that you have in your relationship, you need to air your dirty laundry.  Silence is a relationship killer.  You’re essentially saying you don’t trust your partner with your thoughts or emotions.  That’s no way to stop divorce.

If you do have the money, I heartily recommend going on a marriage retreat.  Whisk yourself away to the mountains of Wyoming or touch dolphins in California.  You have to do whatever it takes at this point.  These retreats are great because you can sit down with a licensed therapist who can help you with your problems in a relaxed, stress free setting.  Do not wait to get this done, because the longer you procrastinate, the more likely you will not be able to stop your divorce.

Now that you’ve learned how to stop a divorce, check out my FREE video presentation that shows you how to rewind your relationship so you’re not in an uncomfortable situation that kills your happiness. Click here NOW to learn the secret behind every happy, successful relationship.

If you want to turn your husband on, then you need to know in advance what he likes…

Sometimes when we’re married we get stuck in a rut.  It’s natural.  You’ve been with your husband for awhile, and maybe you just don’t have as much time or desire for sex as you did when you were dating.  Don’t worry!  You can put the spark back in your love life once you read these tips to help you turn your husband on.

You probably know what your husband does and does not like in bed by now.  This is part of the reason why you feel in a rut, because you just don’t know how to spice things up and vary up your love life.  That’s fine, it happens.  There’s no need to get on yourself about it.  What you need to do is understand male psychology with respect to sex.  You see, sex is a primal urge, so you’re going to have to get acquainted with the animal side of your husband.

Humans evolved in the plains of Africa.  Men are hunter gatherers.  They seek out prey in the forest, hunt it down, and then bring it back home to the village.  Your husband wants to hunt.  He is aggressive and emotional, but he has learned to control his emotions as he’s become older.  However, as a woman, you can help him let lose his aggression and his need to hunt in the bedroom, and really enhance your sexual experience.

Make him hunt you down.  Don’t make sex mechanical.  Learn to play hard to get and make him work for it.  One thing you could do is wait until you know he’ll be off for the evening.  Set a romantic mood with candles and incense.  Remember, you want to simulate the hunt.  Now, leave rose petals and have him follow you all the way back to the bedroom, where you’ll be waiting in your new sexy outfit.

Lingerie is key.  Men love it because it lets them know that you are in the mood to make love and that you know how to lock into his instincts.  Remember, once a man loses himself to his sex drive, the entire experience will be heightened.  Pick out an outfit that is revealing, but not TOO revealing.  Find something with lots of lace and really shows off the best part of your body.

Don’t jump right to sex.  Be sure to take time to rub his body and build up the sexual tension.  You see, you want him so riled up that he practically rips your clothes off.  You can do this by simply cuddling and holding him until the very last second where he just can’t take it anymore.

After thinking about how to turn your husband on, watch my FREE video presentation before it’s too late. Ensure your relationships NEVER go stale. The 4 secret stages of a breakup are the key to effectively keeping the passion burning. Click here NOW to learn the secret to rewinding your relationship.

Have you ever wondered whether or not you should use a personal ad online?  Will it make you look desperate, or is it the new wave of dating?

Taking out an online personal ad is a great idea, so long as you’re smart about it.  Millions of people do it, it’s no longer seen as something that only the desperate and lonely turn to.  In fact, one fifth of all marriages in the U.S. started from online dating.  It’s difficult to actually find someone nowadays.  Not everyone’s daily life is the set of a romantic comedy.  This is fine!  You can have a great relationship from a personal ad.

Get online, and find some of the free online dating sites to take out a personal ad.  Do not give out too much information, like your address.  You should use basic common sense when working online so that you are not the target of identity theft or someone with a mental disorder.  Now that you’ve got a good looking profile, you can start looking for a date!

Be clear with yourself beforehand on what you are looking to get out of having a personal ad.  If you are just looking for a quick date, a hot steamy romance, or someone to walk down the aisle with, then that’s fine.  Just be up front and pick the right website that reflects what you want to do.  There are hundreds of online dating sites of every niche possible.  You can find one that’s perfect for you.

Since you’ve read about personal ads, my FREE video presentation will show you how to understand how to keep a girl with you for life. Don’t know the 3 proven steps to avoid issues? Click here NOW to learn how to prevent damage before it happens.

As ridiculous as this sounds, there’s some truth to what you can learn from celebrity relationships…

Have you heard the latest gossip?

Another hyped-up celebrity break-up leads to another romance we BOTH know will never last.  It’s all over the tabloids!  Their relationship won’t last too much longer.

… Or will it?

Rumors are going around that Scarlett Johansson is dating another man. In fact, they were caught holding hands!

So who was it? George Clooney… Her ex, Ryan Reynolds… or maybe some other Hollywood celeb?

No. In fact, she was caught dating a New York City ad executive. This article reveals all of the juicy details.

That’s so cliche! Right?

Well, I’m going to tell you that their relationship seems to have not just one… but all FIVE of the qualities I look for in a perfect relationship.  We can learn a lot from celebrity relationships, and what we find out can save ours!

Here they are:

1) Equal Power

Yes, a Hollywood starlet MAY have more power than a New York City ad executive…but really, in this relationship, it has more to do with personal presence than money.

And in any relationship, this is CRUCIAL!

In the old days, “power” would mean where you’re employed and how much money you have.  In this case, it’s partly that, but it’s also about personal charisma and presence.

Make too much more – or less – than your partner, and your relationship may suffer. It’s not just me saying this, either, countless studies have been done on the “money factor” in relationships.

2) Equal Status

Same as above. If one partner controls more of the relationship than the other partner, fights are bound to happen. And they’re gonna be brutal!

Not only will you two be at each other’s throats… this difference in power and status leads to passive aggressive behavior. One partner will snipe at the other because they feel they cannot take their partner on in a head on match.

How can you even out power and status? Have “the talk.” No, not marriage. I’m talking about the “who pays for what” talk.

Because even if your partner has a whole lot more money… if you pick up the dinner tab once in awhile, your relationship will still be on an even footing.  You’re letting your partner know, “I can be in control sometimes too!”

3) Equal Love

If you love your partner more than they love you – or vica versa – you’re in for disaster.  I’d spend more time on this concept, but I’ve already covered it in GREAT depth in Relationship Rewind.  It’s a topic that really requires a whole chapter to talk about.  I call it “Switching”, then “Drifting” away. You can read all about it, when you order your copy.

4) Separate Lives

Ah hah! So… equality is the secret, eh?

Well, not so much.

As it turns out, you can’t share everything.  Who wants to see the same person every minute of every day.  Talk about boring.

So what should be yours – and yours, alone? Your career and your friends.

Sharing all your friends not only leads to awkward break ups… it can actually make you stay in a TERRIBLE relationship, just because you’re scared to leave for fear of what your friends might think.  This is why it’s good to have some parts of your life TOTALLY SEPARATE from that of your partner.

5) Separate Loves

What’s something else you should keep separate?

Your passions and your career.

Two actors shooting for stardom or two musicians in the same band SEEMS like a good idea. It’s very romantic.  It’s like something right out of a movie, right?

Reality isn’t so sweet.  The reason why? We defend our egos, ourselves and the things we love with a fierceness otherwise not seen in our daily lives.

Picture this: Your partner hits it big! They’re the next Al Pacino or Angelina Jolie!

But you’re still struggling along at local theaters and doing unpaid work.  You don’t think you’ll ever escape from your office cubicle, or live your dream of being a big bank executive.

Don’t you think you’d be jealous?

Don’t you think you’d undermine their success?

Listen: You may say you’d be supportive now, but studies – and my own, personal experience – say otherwise.  Be honest.

My suggestion: Find someone who has their own vision in life. Then try to help each other succeed.  Always have your own ideas, and your own goals though.  Your partner is just their to help you.

Like these tips? Then like this post… or… leave your comments in the box, below.

Have A Happy Relationship,

– Ryan

After reading about how to have a great relationship, I’d like you to check out more FREE content to avoid problems if they come up. Learn how to rewind your relationship like there was never anything wrong. One simple secret is all you need and it’s in my FREE video presentation. Click here NOW and be happier than ever before. Don’t wait to have the best relationship of your life TODAY.

This may shock you, coming from a heterosexual, middle aged American man… but… I believe Oprah’s O Magazine featured one of the most interesting articles I’ve ever read.

And within it, I found one of the BEST Happiness Tools I’ve ever discovered.happiness

Here’s exactly what I mean:

(If you’re a proud, masculine, American man like me, you’ll have to suspend your macho-man instincts for a minute. Just trust me: There’s good stuff in this post. Happiness awaits.)

In the last issue of O Magazine (and on her website, if you follow this link.) Oprah encouraged her readers to summarize their life stories in only 6 words.

Then, she featured the results.

Neat idea, right? Well, the editors of SMITH magazine thought so, too. Actually, they thought so, first. They’ve been running the six word life story contest for years.

Inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s answer to the question, “What’s the shortest complete story?”…

… His answer: “For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn.”…

Some of my favorites: “Old too soon. Smart too late.” “Survived the divorce. Learned to live.” “Sorry I’m not married yet, MOM.”

(You can check out 38 more, here.)

happinessThing is, SMITH magazine hasn’t just used this six word story technique for your life. They give other topics and other contests, around the year.

Whether it’s six words about a Halloween memory, a six word POEM instead of a story… or six words you wish you said to a bully from long ago… they’ve had tons and tons of different topics for writers.

This got me thinking:

This six word story technique could be a great HAPPINESS TOOL, too.

happinessHow, you ask?

For me, life gets complicated when I have too much stuff going on upstairs, in my head.

When I’m faced with complicated problems or issues, I get overwhelmed. Sometimes even so paralyzed, I can’t breathe or move.

When I was going through my relationship struggles, I felt this “unclear”, “murky”, and “over-thinking” feeling ALL THE TIME!

And it wasn’t until I got clarity… goals… and a step by step ACTION process, that I was able to find my way out.

How? I boiled down my situation and found the absolute bare minimums of each situation.

The simplest pieces it could possibly be made of.

This six word story idea can help you do that for yourself. It can help you find the happiness that you desire and that has always been so elusive.

For example:

Tired of fighting with your girlfriend? Give me six words about your relationship fights.

(Mine: Mad at night. Sorry in the morning.)

Worried about your children, if you’re going through divorce? Try planning a strategy for keeping them safe – but do it in just six words.

(An example: Little ears remember way too much. That’s my clunky way of saying, “Don’t fight in front of the kids.”)

Even: Are you ready to start a new life in a brand new relationship? Pep yourself up in six words.

(Think: Fresh, Free, On Top Of World!)

happinessTry one of these six word stories for yourself.

In fact, share your six word stories with me, in the comments below.

I can’t wait to hear what you come up with 🙂

Find Happiness in your Relationship,

– Ryan Rivers