Falling Back In Love

If you’re having marriage difficulties, there is something you can do.
Marriage Difficulties - Useful advice that can help you if your marriage is in trouble

No one ever said marriage would be perfect, and few relationships are.  When you’re facing marriage difficulties, there are a few things you can do to preserve your marriage and bring order back to your life. The first thing to do is to be honest with yourself as to what is truly the problem.

One major problem in marriages is if there is a difference in the sexual needs of both partners.  One partner may have a high sex drive and want to make love more often than the other.  Maybe you feel hurt that you have to shun your partner’s advances, and make them feel you don’t want them sexually.  You love your partner, but you just do not want to make love as often as they would like, and it’s starting to become a problem.  This causes a rift in many relationships, one that you don’t want to cause.  It may be time to expand your horizons and explore your sexuality more.

We often let the stresses of modern life make us feel we can put sex off, or that there are more important things to do. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.  The intimacy you share with your partner is the core of your relationship and you must do what it takes to save it.    If your job or a big project is making you feel stressed, then put it down and take out some time to spend with your significant other, just the two of you.  You don’t necessarily have to do something grand, like go to a tropical island.

Even the simplest dates, like walking through a park or doing an activity that you can bond over, go a long way in rebuilding a relationship that’s been mired in domestic drudgery.  Once you are relaxed and not thinking about the next deadline or your bosses face on Monday morning, you’ll find being intimate with your partner much more natural.

Sometimes intimacy is not the problem in a marriage.  Maybe you feel like you and your partner are reliving the same day over and over again. 

Routines are good, but too much can lead to boredom and stagnation, and that’s not what endeared you to your partner in the first place.  It’s time to spice it up, and not just in the bedroom.  In these cases you’ll have to do something very much out the ordinary.  Some couples go to exotic locales while others take up new hobbies that they can enjoy together.

Try and do something that involves meeting other couples, or dressing up and going someplace elegant. 

Some couples take up ballroom dancing, which is a romantic activity where you can dress up, go on an adventure, and break up your routine.  If you are outdoorsy, then visiting a scenic spot and going happy can be a romantic trip and rekindle your relationship.  Anything that gets you out of the house and away from the daily grind.

One thing about marriage conferences is that not too many people know what they are.  They are quite effective at keeping a relationship healthy.

I know that new, avante garde couple’s therapy is all the rage nowadays, so I thought I’d wade into the debate.  Marriage conferences are the new way to put a spark back into your marriage, and they are billed as super serious, intense, low cost ways to deal with your marriage.  I love marriage conferences, but really, they’re basically group retreats.  So much for sticking a new name on an old practice.

Why are they simply group retreats?  Because what you do at a marriage conference is the same thing you do at a group retreat.  I know, I’ve been to both and I saw absolutely no effective difference.  How they’re marketed, though, is where the difference lies.  Marriage conferences are billed as being like a business, as if you’re networking with other couples.

What should I expect if I go on one?

There’s a huge increase in couples’ attending retreats, seminars, workshops, getting therapies, reading books, listening to audios and doing things as a couple and I think why this is occurring is because we live in the information age. I like marriage conferences because there is good information to learn that can help you.

Can a marriage conference help my struggling relationship?  

People are realizing that there’s information available in the modern day world to fix any problem, to solve any difficulty and I think people are also realizing that marriages require a constant investment and maintenance for them to be as healthy as possibly. Part of marriage conferences is teaching you those important skills.

Is it important that I go to one?

Couples are no longer leaving their relationship to the winds of fate.  They know that their relationships require constant tune ups and constant vigilance, so marriage conferences have become all the rage.  Plus, marriage conferences can be a lot of fun as they are usually on some tropical island or a mountain retreat where you can get away from the perils of modern life.

I think whole lots people are realizing marriage can take an effort, can take work, and it can take a process of growing and learning together.

This is why marriage conferences take place where a lot of couples can attend an event where there are different speakers and workshops. There’s different skills and strategies to learn.  You can start to look at your relationship as a project or a work in progress, and less as something that just happens and goes on its own.

For example I was looking at one marriage conference recently and they were teaching all the participants mindfulness.  Mindfulness is actually derived from Zen Buddhism and is a technique to clear the mind of unnecessary “noise.”

Mindfulness is a way of relaxing, meditating, living in the now, removing stress, removing anxiety and not putting so much pressure on yourself. What a great idea marriage conferences really are.

Mindfulness is about clearing your mind and enjoying life. If they teach that at marriage conferences – then make sure to go.  Mindfulness has its roots in Buddhist teachings: it’s one of the nine pillars of behavior that is supposed to lead to enlightenment.  We won’t go too much into the Buddha, but mindfulness is an excellent way to tweak your behavior for optimal results.

And I can has it a guess that if every couple out there, every married couple wants to learn mindfulness and practice it together, there would be a lot less divorces and a lot less marriage problems and this is one thing I want to encourage you to do as a couple. Part of the appeal of marriage conferences is learning skills like this – so powerful.

If you’re thinking about how to strengthen your marriage and how to make it better and how to invest in it, make it grow, look for these things called practices. I really like marriage conferences because you can learn practices that will help your marriage.

Practices are something that you never really get good at like yoga, it’s something you practice and you constantly improve and when you’re in a marriage, you want to see if you can have practices that you do together.

It could be rock climbing, it could be meditation, it could be anything at all, it might be learning a language but it can be really beneficial for you both to engage in these practices together then you’ve got something to talk about, you’ve got something to share and it can be a really cool experience when the both of you are doing these sort of things together.

That’s why when I researched marriage conferences recently and I saw how they’re running mindfulness classes for couples, I thought it was just one of the best ideas I’ve ever seen.

If you are thinking about checking out marriage conferences – then definitely do it. Going to marriage conferences will really help your relationship. It has to.

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If you’re in a situation right now where you have a healthy marriage or don’t and you want a healthy marriage this article is going to help take your relationship to the next level.Characteristics of a healthy marriage

My advice on how to have a really healthy marriage is to find more direction in your life.

What’s really helpful is for you to have a clear path about where you’re going and where you’re going to end up. This will feed into developing a healthy marriage.

So I encourage you to ask yourself these five questions and these five questions will help you just direction in life and a clearer path. A healthy marriage will essentially be a side-effect.

Question number one, on your current lifestyle and your current daily life, where are you going to end up in five years?

So if you repeated today at five years over, where are you going to end up?

In terms of your relationship will this lead to a healthy marriage? Why?

Question number two, are you happy at this destination?

What it is that you like about it and what is it you don’t like about it?

Ideally where would you like your life to be like in five years, where would you like to be living?

Is your current path guaranteed to lead to a healthy marriage?

How would you like to be as a person?

What about your fitness, your financial situations, your relationship?

I mean you write down right now brief little plan about where you would like to be in five years’ time. Perhaps write about your healthy marriage in 5 years’ time and exactly how you would like it to be.

Next I want you to break that down to being 90 days but to in the next 90 days take some steps towards reaching that five day goal. To have a healthy marriage is to have a plan on how you will do it. They rarely are accidents.

What would you do?

What would be some things you could do to give you that purpose direction in your life.

And the last thing is to think about what are some small habits that could get you started?

So what are some small things that you could even do right now that would get the process going, and would get the process kick started that you could build on? Because it’s all about action. Having a healthy marriage is about taking action now to secure your future.

It’s all about doing things.

Some of the main benefits for getting more direction in life are that you get more results. A healthy marriage leads to all sorts of positive flow-on benefits in your life.

You always get more progressive results when you are headed in a definite direction. You can have a healthy marriage by thinking about what you need to do to achieve that goal. Get clarity.

You can always change your plan later just because you set some five year goals doesn’t mean you can’t change them but you’re always going to get a hell of a lot further with the plan than without a plan.

The other thing is that when you are in a marriage, people who have a plan and people who have a strong direction are much more attractive to their partners and have a stronger leadership sense. Add some leadership to your marriage. Take control of healthy marriage and make it happen.

Those leading partners are much more internally strong with who they are and they certainly make a lot better use of their time and energy.

And this ends up making them a hell lot more attractive to their partners and leads to a much greater chance of having a healthy marriage.

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If you in the process of healing a broken heart what is going to help the most is being clear on how you respond to this situation. You see, healing a broken heart can be done in a way that makes it happen quickly – or slowly.

Healing a broken heart takes time.  They say that “Time heals all wounds.”  This is not exactly true, but it’s a start and I think it’s something we have to remember when we’re in the throes of depression.  We thought we were in love, but then it was all snatched away from us as if we awoke from a dream.  This is life.  I’m not going to sugar coat it and tell you sweet lies of how it will all be better.  What I can tell you is that you can take the opportunity to make yourself stronger.

The first thing you need to do to heal your broken heart is to remember that this is just a phase.  You will heal.  Life will go on, it must.  There is no stopping the days from passing.  This is a part of reality that you know to be true, but the implications of it for healing a broken heart are many fold. Your life isn’t over and there are over 5 billion people on this green Earth, one of whom can add more to your life than the one you thought you had. The odds are in your favor!

Now I know that someone saying the world isn’t over doesn’t make that sick feeling at the bottom of your stomach go away, and to be honest, I nor anyone else can do that for you.  But that’s fine.  That gut wrenching feeling you have right now is essential for you to have.  The reason for that is it helps you focus on what you’re really feeling and what you miss about the relationship.  You see, you’re going to have another relationship in the future.  If you don’t know what you want from a relationship though, you could end up making many of the same mistakes.

What do you miss about being in a relationship?  How did it improve your life?  What are you missing from your own life and how can you make yourself more whole?  These are important questions, and the process of grieving and healing ab broken heart is to remember all of what made you happy and cherish it.  Life can be full of pain, so there is little reason for you to hang on too much to the pain, but to capture all of the joy that you can.

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Couples can encounter all sorts of problems in their relationship.  Here are some tips for a happy relationship.

When you’re having problems in your relationship, you start to consider whether being in your current relationship is actually what you want. Being in couples can be socially accepted, but often we can get into relationships for the wrong reasons.

So I want to give you three guiding points to help you figure out exactly where your relationship is at and some clarity on how to be in a happy relationship.  Sometimes when you’re experiencing problems in your relationship, you have doubts.

It’s alright to feel torn.  No relationship is perfect.  There are some things you probably adore about your probably, and others that probably drive you up the wall.  This is perfectly natural and there is no such thing as two people that get along like out of a storybook.

Here are some tips for a happy relationship.  Hopefully you’ll see yourself in some of this advice and take it to heart.

Start a diary or a journal and write in it at least twice a week.  That might sound romantic to some and cumbersome to others, but being aware of your feelings is the first step to a happy relationship.  It keeps you clear about where your emotions are at.  You’ll find thinking more about your feelings keeps you from bottling up what you feel and exploding later.

Your level of happiness is the pulse of where your relationship is at. Couples can often underestimate the level as to which your relationship can affect your happiness.

The second thing to analyze is how honest you can be with your partner.  How open are you?  Do you feel you can say anything?

Couples that are strong tend to be honest.

A sign of a really strong relationship is when you can communicate clearly, be honest, and say how you feel. Couples that communicate well tend to work better than those that don’t.

A lot of relationship problems are really caused by lack of transparency and openness.  Don’t keep things locked inside.  Your partner isn’t a mind reader.  They don’t know that what they do is bothering you if you don’t be assertive and clear.

So sometimes it’s time to sit down, talk ,and let honesty come out. Couples need to have these periods where they sit down together and talk about the big stuff.

The third tip is to look at the reasons why you’re in the relationship.

Sometimes we can be motivated by guilt, insecurity and a lot of other negative emotions, or even jealousy. If that’s the case, why would you stay with that partner? Couples that work tend to have a high desire to make it work.

Sometimes we don’t even really want to be in that relationship with them, we’re just being ruled by some very powerful negative emotions. Couples that survive through tough periods are grounded by having the right reasons to be together.

On the other hand, you might have some very strong legitimate reasons to be with your partner, maybe you feel he/she is your soul mate, maybe you feel like they’re the one for you.  You really can see your future with them.

So write down all the reasons you want to be with your partner and make sure that your motivation is coming from the right place, because if you are being motivated by negative emotions you need to move on.

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Are you trying to get your ex back, but you need something unconventional to do it?  Here are some weird tricks to bring your ex back!

I have written many articles about what you can do to get your ex back, but sometimes, the conventional stuff just doesn’t cut it.  Every relationship is different. Sometimes you can get your ex back by concentrating on becoming a new person, while other times, you can get your ex back by trying to rekindle the spark between the two of you.  However, in some situations, you can’t just do the same old thing. Your ex will have to be really excited to be back with you, in which case, you’ll need some weird tricks up your sleeve.

One of the quirkiest things you can do is try to flirt with your ex incognito.  You need to get some sunglasses, a costume, and to take on a brand new identity.  Have fun with this idea!  If you want to be a Parisian fashion designer on assignment from France or if you want to be a body builder visiting for a competition, then do that.  You see, your ex will never expect you to take on a brand new guise, a new persona, and you can really romance them by pulling them into your fantasy world.

There is one thing about getting your ex back that really makes a difference, and that is the element of surprise.  That’s why it is so important for you to try something fresh and new that will truly surprise your ex and get things started again.

Another weird idea that you can try is for you to try and stage a meeting with your ex.  For instance, if you know that  your ex likes to hang out at a certain mall or they love a certain store, then try to frequent that store yourself and run into them.  Don’t be bland about it though!  For instance, I know one woman who knew that her boyfriend was working at a hospital, so she decided to dress in a ridiculously sexy outfit and go rollerskating.  When she saw him, she literally fell in his arms.

You see, weird tricks are not really going to magically get your ex back . What does it is breaking the old mold, smashing it to pieces, and starting over anew.  You have to convince your ex that life will be different if you two get back together, so if you can do that, things will be alright.

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