Getting Over Your Boyfriend

Trapped in a Sexless Relationship

“My boyfriend wants his ex back” is one of the most horrifying realizations a woman can come to while in a relationship. Feeling like you are not good enough hurts pretty badly, and it is never a pleasant experience to be the second choice. However, before you jump to conclusions, it is important to figure out the details.

Are you absolutely positive that your boyfriend wants his ex back? Or is it just an assumption you came to in your head? In this situation, it is essential to figure out the truth. If you think your boyfriend wants his ex back when he really doesn’t, you are at risk of ruining the relationship with your own insecurity. But if you are unsure of the truth, how can you figure out his real feelings without offending him?

Though this may seem frightening to you, confronting him about it is the best option. You may be wary about this for fear of offending him, but he will be grateful for your honesty. Ask him if he wants her back, and if he is unhappy with your current relationship. He is likely to answer the question honestly, so be prepared for either answer.

If he says that he does want his ex back, then you should consider breaking up with him. Though you may care about him deeply, your dignity is more important. A relationship is two-sided, and if he is not putting in the effort, then it will never work – both of you will always be unhappy. However, if he says he does not want her back, then apologize for your accusation and continue the relationship.

By following these suggestions, you will be able to determine if your boyfriend truly does want his ex back before you jump to conclusions and put the relationship in jeopardy.

So, you’ve slept with your ex and you really didn’t mean to?  Well, let’s see if that’s true.
Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes they include a special someone from our past: an ex. If you slip up and sleep with your ex, what does it mean and what should you do about it?

First, stop it. Don’t sleep with him or her again. It’s never just about sex when an ex is involved. There are feelings at stake, often complex ones, regardless of whether you are the dumper or the dumpee.

You do not want your ex to use your sleeping together as emotional blackmail.  You’re human.  Your emotions and your needs caused you to sleep with your ex.  You probably wanted things to go back to the way they were.  You wanted the comfort and safety of being in a relationship.

I feel used and I feel abused…. 

Prevent it. If you can, make sure it doesn’t happen! If it’s already happened, prevent it from happening again. Once again, stop it!  The more you sleep with them the more your body will train itself to respond to that other person romantically.   That’s not what you want to have happen.  It’ll lead down a long dark road.

I feel so confused right now.

Completely understandable.  Give yourself a break.  You are completely human. No one is perfect and you have no idea how many emails I get with people that have done the exact same thing you have.  If you’re not intent on rekindling the romance with your ex, then you just need to cut it off at the bud and move on.

Try to work through your feelings and why you chose to sleep with your ex. If you were the one who was dumped to begin with, you may be trying to win your ex back. Not only is this dangerous, but it won’t happen. There’s a reason that the two of you broke up and it should stay that way.

Maybe this is what happens when you try to have a friendship together. If this is true, then lose the friendship. Say goodbye and let your ex fade from your life. Keeping him or her around is only going to harm you if you continue to slip up and sleep with them.

Give yourself a break and try not to beat yourself up for making this mistake, but remember that it doesn’t need to happen again. Look at the feelings that may have come up and sort through them. Process them and allow yourself to heal. Then move on and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Tell your ex how you feel and leave it at that.

To help you work through your feelings, resources are available. Whether you simply want to figure out what went wrong and move on or possibly try to get your ex back, watch my FREE video presentation to learn how to sort things out…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

You think your spouse or significant other has cheated on you.  How do you broach the subject?

So, he cheated on you.  You’ve got the evidence: a credit card bill for a local motel or pictures of his romantic interludes with his mistress.  You’ve caught your significant other breaching the trust you’ve built for so long, and now it feels terrible.  You have just been rejected as deeply and as broadly as any human can ever be rejected.

Not everyone has had someone cheat on them, but many people have. If it happens to you, you may find yourself fraught with questions. Should you ask who it was? Should you stay together? What should you say if he or she breaks up with you for this other person?

I am just not in a good emotional state right now.

It’s best to only ask questions if you’re sure you can handle the answers. In most cases, no answer is better than knowing the truth. Do you really want to know who he was sleeping with? Do you really want to know what she was doing with that other man at the bar?

Knowing answers usually leads to an intensity of feelings and emotions that you may have been able to avoid otherwise. You might want to ask if it’s someone you know. That makes sense. If your best friend is the one who’s cheating with your man, you’ll want to know so that you can deal with your friendship with her. However, if your ex says it’s someone that you don’t know, you may want to stop there. Think of what good it would do you to know that information. It wouldn’t do you any good.

It feels like my entire world has ended…

Let yourself grieve and ask the questions that you need for clarity and closure. Just be careful about asking for too many details. This often makes the breakup hurt more and the betrayal feel worse. If you want to stay with your partner and he or she wants to stay with you, then you may need details. If you’ll be going your separate ways, it’s better to leave those up to speculation.

Only get the answers that you need and leave the other ones alone. Ignorance really is bliss in this situation.

It’s important to take a break sometimes.  If you’ve been dumped, then you need time to re-order your state of mind.  

When you’ve been dumped, it can be difficult to acknowledge what has happened. It can also be difficult to accept it. You may feel the need to hold on as tightly as you can and reel him or her back in. This isn’t healthy, although it is understandable, and you need to find a way to let him or her go so that you can find someone who will does fit into your life.

Isn’t taking a break the same as giving up on my love life?

Every love life has ups and downs.  Some people marry their first love, and some people have to date for several years before finding someone they are in fact comfortable with.  It’s part of being human and part of the game of dating.  Enjoy it! If you’ve been dumped, taking a break is the best thing you can do.

Taking a break when you’ve been dumped is the best way to do this. I know it can be hard. We’ve all wanted to maintain relationships when it just wasn’t possible. You may be able to be friends, it’s true. This doesn’t mean that you have to say goodbye forever. It does mean that you need to say goodbye temporarily. You need to give yourself distance for a period of time. Figure that you’ll need to be apart, with zero communication, for half of the length you were dating. For example, if you dated for a year, then you’ll want to block off all communication for sixth months.

I still feel so awful from the breakup.  How do I cut off the old part of my life?

Hide him or her from your Facebook newsfeed. Change his or her name in your phone so that you won’t run across it until you’re able to communicate again. Take down photos and put them away in a safe place. It’s important to make sure that you give yourself plenty of space and time to process things. It’s also important to make sure that you are communicating with others and letting go of your past relationship.

Though you may be tempted to get yourself through this rough patch by communicating with your ex, it’s best to find new people to fill that void in your life. This won’t happen if you keep communication with your ex during this crucial healing period. So take a break and let go. Then, when you’re ready, you can welcome your ex back into your life as a friend or you can choose to let them fade away. The choice is yours.

A smart way to overcome a break-up is to think about exactly what went wrong. Then you can choose to let your ex become a friend, try again romantically, or simply end it for good. Watch my FREE video presentation to see how make the best decision…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

Love flourishes even in stormy weather

Here’s a question I received from a faithful reader: He dumped me…

He Dumped Me...
Love flourishes even in stormy weather

My boyfriend dumped me. This is a new experience for me, I’ve never been dumped by anyone before. I thought I would get over it but it’s been a few months and I still am really upset by it. I miss him and I wish he was still in my life even though he dumped me, so I guess I should hate him. I loved him. What should I do?

Answer: I’m sorry that your boyfriend dumped you. The most important thing for you to do right now is to look at the situation honestly. He dumped you, but he isn’t the judge of your true worth. Don’t let him make you feel inadequate. You have something to share with this world, so share it!

I know most people in these situations say “it’s his loss!”  That sounds corny, but it’s true.  Isn’t it better that you break up now, while things are not so serious, before you get married, have kids, and then have to go through that level of heartache!

You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. All of you. It sounds like this guy isn’t necessarily mean, but he definitely isn’t interested in you as a girlfriend. It may be hard, but it’s time to move on.

The best way to do this is by finding new things to do. Look for new activities and clubs. Spend time with family and friends. Let yourself have other meaningful relationships with men. Don’t hide yourself away from the world and let yourself continue to spiral into sadness.  Closing yourself off from the outside world now could spell doom for you.

If you’ve been feeling this way for months and you haven’t noticed any real improvement, then it may be time to consider seeing a psychologist. It doesn’t mean you would have to become a regular, but a psychologist can listen to you and help you find better ways of coping. They can offer suggestions that a biased person (such as a friend or family member) might not see or be aware of. Many psychologists specialize in life changes and life stressors such as a relationship breakup.

Regardless of what you decide to do, make sure it is something that makes you happy.  Don’t think “He dumped me…” all day, every day.  Instead, smile and know that your next knight in shining armor is right around the corner.

After reading about how to get over being dumped, I’d like you to check out more FREE content to help you figure out relationships. Learn how to rewind your relationship and make it stronger. Learn the one secret with my FREE video presentation. Click here NOW to get back to a blissful state. Don’t wait to have the best relationship of your life TODAY.

Making Your Ex Jealous

When you want to know how to get over your ex the starting point is to realize you have to close the door on your past.

Getting over an ex is never easy, and I can’t offer any quick fixes or easy solutions.  Anyone who does has never been through the process themselves.  If you’re thinking of ways on how to get over an ex, here are some tips you can start using today.

Deal with your pain

The worst thing you can do is suppress your emotions.  Hiding how you feel will only put your emotions in a box where it will be even harder to deal with them.  We see this in romantic movies.  The introverted character tries to put away their feelings, and finds out that they explode in some weird way elsewhere.  This will require some bravery on your part, but it can be done.

Having strong feelings towards the past

How do we deal with getting over an ex though?  It depends on the nature of your breakup.  If there was infidelity, then maybe you feel cheated.  If your breakup ended because one of you moved away or it felt like life was pulling you both in different directions, then maybe you feel guilty for having moved on without your partner having gone with you.  There are hundreds of unique reasons why people break up.

The way you deal with the emotions is give yourself time to be human.  You can’t do everything.  It’s alright to feel sad, depressed, lonely, or anxious.  In fact, feeling those emotions and letting them out is how you move on.  Never turn to drugs or alcohol to overcome your problems.  Try exercise and healthy eating instead.  You’ll find it so easy to gain control of your inner emotional life when your body is well taken care of.

Moving on and closure

Closure is what  you need right now. Closure is the understanding that things are over with and in the past.  In fact, closure is a way of giving us the personal strength to move forward.  In order to give yourself meaningful closure, you’ll have to start telling yourself, “It’s over.”  Saying it’s over is the best way of getting over an ex.  Find someone new to date, move to a new city, change your wardrobe and have a completely new look.

Closure is your right to say that your past doesn’t control you, you are the one to actually control your past.

Now that you’ve thought about how to get over your ex, check out more FREE content to get her back. Rewind your relationship and make it passionate and fulfilling again. My FREE video presentation will show you exactly how to have incredible relationships for the rest of your life. Click here NOW to learn how.

he dumped me
Love flourishes even in stormy weather

If you are having difficulty to get over a bad relationship experience then I’ve got some good news for you.

Bad relationships happen all the time, and if you have the right attitude, you can get over them quickly.  

I want to talk about the importance of when you want to get over a bad relationship to try an aspect of your life that provides a healthy escape.  You cannot focus on the same thing over and over and over again.  You have to be able to get your mind off your troubles with healthy activities like running and jogging.

We all know what unhealthy escapes are like so there are drugs and alcohol and risky behavior.

Find a hobby that captures your attention and makes you feel like life is new again. To get over a bad relationship is about having something more interesting to think about than your previous relationship.

Maybe do something like dancing or yoga or certain type of fitness classes. By moving your body you can start getting over these bad experiences. It is said that emotional trauma and bad memories are stored in the muscles.

Make sure you do something new, something different, something that you haven’t done before.

And this allows you to not only relax but also to escape from some of the things you’re experiencing.

It gives you an opportunity to let stuff out, maybe you want to take up martial arts, if you’ve had a particularly bad relationships so you can punch some of those feelings out or maybe you want to book around the world holiday or get into photography.

I highly recommend looking to start a new passion and new interest, or a new hobby. You’ll be getting over that bad experience and be able to get over a bad relationship in no time at all.

Rebuild your self-esteem!  A bad relationship happens to anyone!

It’s also a great idea to fill up your time because sometimes when you end a relationship, you end up having a lot more free time than you have before because you don’t have that person to fill it up. Part of getting over a relationship is dealing with the vacuum it creates in your life.

So it can be good to fill that space with some healthy activities that do make you feel good. For me if my biggest goal was getting over a bad experience I’d do Bikram Yoga every day until it was fixed. You can sweat out the problems.

That can really help you to get over a bad relationship.

What you want to avoid more than anything this point in time is spending too much time on your own just thinking, thinking about your relationship, thinking about the programs and engaging in all sorts of negative experiences.

You kind of want to after pretty short period of time, after maybe a week or two after break-up, unless you’re getting out of the house, you’re doing self-detective and you’re doing something that will make you feel good. Part of getting over is be smart about avoiding what makes you feel bad.

You don’t want to be sitting around the house for amount of period, you’re feeling sorry for yourself and playing the victim.

It’s time to take charge of your life, start to do some things that make you feel good and start to get into some new interests and some new hobbies. Start getting over what happened by living your life again.

It’s a really good way of rejuvenating yourself and healing to get over a bad relationship.

After thinking about how to get over a bad relationship, watch my FREE video presentation before it’s too late. It’ll show you how to ensure your relationships will NEVER go stale. The 4 secret stages of a breakup will show you how to improve your life…and your relationships. Click here NOW to learn the secret.

The past is the past.  Give the past a funeral.  This is how to get over an ex-boyfriend.

You cannot change the past.  It’s over with.  Internalizing this fact of life is the key to so many different problems we face, including how to get over an ex-boyfriend.  I recently saw an episode of “Political Animals,” where the main character says that if you look toward the past, you cannot go on to the next great moment.

I know, this sounds like empty platitudes.  You need real, actionable advice that you can implement RIGHT away so that you can start feeling better.  A breakup can make the world stop spinning.  It can make life seem gray and almost lifeless.  Here are some things you can do right this second, from this moment on, to get over that ex-boyfriend.

Leave the house right this instant!  Get up, go outside, and start doing things you like doing. You cannot dwell on what’s happened, and you cannot sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.  You’ll enter into a cycle of self doubt and self hatred. The worst thing to do when getting over an ex-boyfriend is to allow yourself to be isolated.  You will begin to think the worst of the situation, and of yourself.

Do not  try to just dive into a new relationship right off the bat.  I This is called “dating someone on the rebound” and it can end poorly.  I have never heard a case of a healthy, long term relationship forming from a rebound relationship.  I know you want to have a boyfriend around.  It made you feel protected, safe, and above all, it made you feel like you were really wanted.  However, looking for a rebound partner is going to significantly lower your standards, and that’s never a good thing.

After you get outside and start doing things that will take your mind off of your ex-boyfriend, you can finally have your funeral.  Take the things that remind you of him, maybe a rose or a letter he wrote, put them in a box, and send them off to see.  Some people burn their old knickknacks, while others take their box of stuff and stash it in the closet to never be seen again.

Now that you’ve read about how to get over an ex-boyfriend, check out more info on how to improve your future relationships. My FREE video presentation shows you how to “rewind” relationships to keep things strong. Click here NOW to see the secret behind every happy, successful relationship.