How To Fix A Marriage

When we think of strong relationships, we often think of older couples. Those couples that have made it through life together and reached their old age side by side. However, it isn’t necessary to have been together for 20+ years to have a strong relationship. To keep your relationship strong, it’s important to address the most basic issues that jeopardize that very strength.

Building trust in a relationship is one of the best ways to keep your relationship strong.

One of the most fundamental issues facing couples is trust. We all know the importance trust plays in our relationships with our family members, our friends, and our mentors. Yet sometimes we ignore trust within our romantic relationships, especially once we have already cultivated trust. We assume that it will stay there, but often as relationships progress both partners do things that undermine that very trust. So what can we do to make sure that our relationships last and are kept strong?

The first step to maintaing trust in a relationship is honesty. If you haven’t been honest in the past with your partner, explain yourself and apologize. Then, begin again. Pledge to be honest and then follow-through with your promise. Ask your partner to be honest as well. Honesty in all relationships creates trust automatically. If you can believe that your partner is being honest, then you can feel comfortable trusting them. If you worry that your partner is lying to you or being manipulative, then it will be difficult to trust them. You will automatically find yourself worried, nervous, anxious, or uncomfortable. Knowing your partner is honest, allows you to trust them when they say that they care about you or share their thoughts with you.

Once you have established honesty in your relationship, you must work on your communication skills within the relationship. Relationships that are lacking in communication cause trust issues naturally because both partners become confused or unsure of the other’s intentions, feelings, and thoughts. Be open to discussing with one another what is working and what isn’t. Stay honest and stay open. When you feel that your partner is truly communicating with you, there is no need to worry about anything. If something is wrong, you know that your partner will talk with you about it. This security is the foundation for creating trust and maintaing it.

While it may be difficult to rebuild trust that was previously broken, it can be done. If you are looking to keep a healthy relationship strong, then you will want to use trust, honesty, and good communication skills. These skills are what lead to lasting, successful, happy relationships. If you haven’t been practicing these skills in your relationship, don’t despair. It’s never too late to try something new. Talk with your partner about changing the nature of your relationship to a more honest, open, trusting format. Share with them the changes that you are looking to make and explain how it will enhance the quality of your relationship. Remember, trust is not built overnight, but it can be shattered in minutes. Be patient if you are rebuilding trust that was previously lost. If you already have a trusting relationship, be patient as that trust grows and strengthens.

Sometimes we smother each other with our presence. For some people, this is what they want. They crave time together, both mentally, emotionally and physically. For some people, however, this is debilitating and leads to failed relationships…

We all have different needs and some of us need individual freedom. You can keep your relationship alive with individual freedom if you follow these simple guidelines.

Have one activity that is yours alone. Do not share everything with your partner. Sure, tell him or her where you’re going and what you’re doing. Just don’t take them along with you. It’s great to share similar interests and to participate in activities together. Just make sure that you have one activity that is only yours. It serves as a way for you to meet new people and to spend some much-needed time out on your own.

Don’t be afraid to ask for quiet space. Not everyone wants to spend time with their partner every second of every day. It’s okay to ask for some time alone so you can read a book, take a calming bath, or go on a tranquil walk. You may just need time alone with your thoughts. Those who are introverted need time to reflect and ponder without anyone in their presence. Let your partner know that sometimes you need to be alone and I’m sure that he or she will honor that.

One of the best ways that I’ve found to keep my relationship alive with individual freedom is by creating a space that is mine. Everyone knows to let me be in that room and I can go there to retreat and do my own thing. Then I re-emerge full of life and ready to spend every moment with my partner. By allowing me to spend time alone and refuel, it enables me to be fully present with my wife when we are together. Those moments become all the more special.

I would encourage you to remember that it’s okay to spend time alone as long as you aren’t hiding or running from your partner. Let yourself find individual freedom and keep your relationship alive!

With more individual freedom, you’ll have a clear head so you can better work on your relationship when you are together. You’ll be able to keep those initial sensual feelings and keep them for good. Watch my FREE video presentation to see a powerful method to do just that…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

Top 10 Things to Do to Make Up With Your Wife1.     Respect Her

This is the key to any successful marriage. Simple tasks like making the bed, doing the dishes, taking out the trash, and putting your clothes in the hamper are easy things that really make a difference to her. This shows that you respect her and are willing to help her out around the house.

2.     Compliment Her

A simple compliment can go a long way, especially since every woman just wants to feel valued and loved. You should aim for 3 compliments to every one critique. This will create a more positive environment for everyone involved. For example if she buys something for herself ask to see it, or even for her to model it for you. This interest will show her that you still care when she tries to impress you or dress nice for you. You can even compliment her on how great the house looks or how great the meal tastes.

3.     Buy her flowers just because its Tuesday

To make up with your wife try buying her flowers. Pick some random day of the week and pick out some flowers for her and leave a little note saying how much you appreciate her and love her. She will love you and your gesture.

4.     Splurge a little

Spoil her. Take her out to eat on a dinner date or a lunch date. She will enjoy going out and being in your company. She will also take pride in the fact that you are willing to splurge a little on her, showing her that she’s worth it.

5.     Be patient and calm

Nobody likes to be yelled at and yelling is not a good way to make up with your wife. She can still hear you without yelling and chances are she will respond a whole lot better if you talk in a nice, quiet volume that’s non-threatening.

6.     Smile and Stare

We’ve all heard that actions are louder than words, so take the time to just smile. You don’t have to say anything.

7.     Tell her you love her

Tell her that you love her and tell her often. Also, try making a habit of kissing her goodbye every time one of you leaves the house. It’s a cute habit that both of you will enjoy.

8.     Listen

Anytime your wife has a problem take the time to sit down and listen. Turn off the TV, put away the cell phone and show her that you are her number one priority. Do NOT put her down and make fun of her mistakes because everyone makes them. Sympathize and show that you will support her no matter what.

9.     Do something thoughtful to make up

Plan a whole night just about her. Start out by make her favorite meal. You could also give her flowers, and maybe even rent her favorite movie and just spend the night cuddling on the couch.

 10.  Apologize

A sincere apology will go a long way, especially after those first 9 things. A simple “I’m sorry” will begin the process of making it up to her and showing her that you are man enough to swallow your pride and admit that you were wrong.

If you are thinking about getting a divorce, or feel that your marriage is falling apart, then you might be interested in these divorce facts.  The state of divorce in the United States gives us a picture of the type of state the country is in.  Some of these statistics may prove to by quite shocking.

Here are some shocking facts and stats about divorce:

  • Every ten to thirteen seconds someone gets divorced.
  • 50% of women and 33% of men remain angry for ten years after a divorce.
  • Women have more trouble starting new relationships than divorced men do.
  • More than 90% of divorces in long-standing marriages involve infidelities some time during the marriage.
  • More than 50% may be involved in a current affair, yet only 25% cite an affair as an actual reason for divorce.
  • 80% of those who divorce during an affair regret the decision.
  • Over 75% who marry partners in an affair eventually divorce.
  • The divorce rate and ratio of infidelity are much higher among marriage partners in an affair.
  • The average affair lasts two to four years.
  • If an affair becomes public it is doomed.
  • If an affair replaces the marriage, it is subject to the same emotional stresses as the marriage but is twice as likely to fracture.
  • An affair prevents binding ties from being formed. Eventually it has nowhere to go. Sooner or later it will suffocate in secrecy.
  • Affairs die for the same reason as marriage, lack of intimacy.
  • … Do any of these stats remind you of your marriage, your divorce or a partner who cheated on you?

If so, you should know, you are FAR from alone. There are millions of people in the United States who are in your EXACT same predicament.  Post a comment, below. Let me know about your relationship and your situation.  It’s better to get your emotions out and one the table than to bottle them up inside, forever. Have A Happy Relationship, – Ryan

Since you’ve read about these surprising divorce facts, my FREE video presentation will show you how to make sure you don’t become a statistic. Don’t know the 3 proven steps to fix your marriage? Click here NOW to reverse any damage and restore the bliss you used to feel.

Do you argue constantly? Is nothing ever right in your home? Is nothing ever right in your relationship? Do you want to stop the constant bickering, but just can’t seem to find a way to do so? Look no further. Safe words will be your answer.

Arguments are actually a healthy part of any relationship.  It’s true.  I’ve seen many couples that have stayed together for years go through blistering arguments and then never break up.  In fact, these disagreements enhance and maximize their relationship in ways that couples who never argue could only dream about.  However, if you find yourself arguing too much, or feel that your relationship is in danger from too much discord, read on.

What is a safe word, you ask? Safe words are words that you create to keep yourself from taking things too far. You can have a word that keeps you from going too far. Your partner can have a word. Let’s say you choose “cream” and he chooses “lightning.” (It doesn’t really matter what the words are, just so long as they are unique enough that they will stand out and are also words that you’ll remember later on). Safe words for fighting will help you to repair your relationship.

Don’t be taken aback by how silly this sounds.  I first came up with the idea when watching a hypnotist work with a group of people.  He was helping a man with tremendous back pain relax, and he used a special word to get the man into a hypnotic state to ease his muscles.  I thought the same idea could be applied to relationships, and even though it may be weird to yell out “Jelly beans!” during a heated argument, it has a magical way of diffusing bickering.

As the argument begins to heat up, you feel yourself ready to yell out some threatening things and some hurtful things you know you’ll regret later. Right now you’re too upset to deal with this productively, so you say “lightning” and walk away.

Your partner will now know not to follow you. She will just let you be. Later, when things have settled down, the two of you can sit down. You can discuss politely and gently the issues. You can compromise and find ways to solve the problems at hand.  This is much better than getting in to a screaming match.  You do not want things to escalate emotionally where you will have no control over yourself.  You’ll say things you don’t really mean.

The safe words allow you both to stop in a crisis and agree to ignore things for a moment. To give yourselves time to breathe and to calm down. This is one of the most important tools that I try to share with couples. It’s a great way to solve things before they turn into something that is widely out of control.

If you aren’t sure, just give it a try.  Don’t feel embarrassed!  You would never guess how many couples actually use this technique to keep their relationships in working order.  Your safe word for fighting can be anything you want it to be.  My advice is to make it silly, so that it diffuses the situation in a jiffy.  The safe word for me and my wife is “Fahrvergnuegen,” a German word that sounds funny to both of us.  We actually laugh in the middle of heated debates.

It’s important, however, to remember that it only works if it is honored. If you or your partner continues to nag and yell at the other individual during the fighting, it will not work. You both must respect the safe words if they are to be used effectively and are to be used to restore the good nature of your relationship together.

Since you’ve read about safe words for fighting, my FREE video presentation will show you how to take back your relationship once and for all. Don’t know the 3 proven steps to fix your relationship? Click here NOW to reverse any damage and she’ll be yours forever.

win back my wife
Get that spark back in her eyes

Question: I want to win back my wife. We’ve been really distant lately and I want her to know that she’s still the person I want to be with. I just worry that she won’t listen. I worry that I’ve lost her. I’m pretty stubborn and I don’t know what to say, I have a hard time saying anything. What should I do?

Answer: When you are looking at finding ways to “win back my wife,” I want you to consider what you haven’t been doing.

Have you been complimenting her? I don’t mean fake compliments. I mean real, honest, genuine compliments. Find something compelling to say and say it. It will make her feel good and remind her that you’re still there. You still find her attractive and you still love all of her idiosyncrasies as well as her personality.

Another thing that I would ask you to look at, is the time you spend together. This is crucial. You may need to spend more time with her. Maybe you’re always off doing your own thing or you’re involved in a lot of outside activities. Find a way to make her feel special. Find a way to make her feel loved.

However, you may be spending too much time with her. Have you given her space to breathe? To pursue her own interests? It’s important that you allow her to do her own thing as well. It’s good for couples to have some activities that they do on their own. It’s healthy for you to spend time apart as well as together. Don’t suffocate her or she will be less likely to stay.

Regardless of what choices you need to make and what behaviors you need to alter, it’s important that you do so with her in mind. Listen to what she’s asking for and give it to her.

Nobody wants to go through a divorce. Sometimes though, even after the fact, you realize you should’ve stayed together…

Getting your wife back is going to be a big project.  Marriages end for a variety of reasons, and there are probably really big reasons why you and your wife broke up in the first place.  It isn’t unheard of for a man and wife to get back together, even if they separated under bad circumstances. However, it will take some work and you will have to rework your relationship.

Divorce is hard on people and a life altering event, but if you really feel that you could be successful in getting your wife back, then you need to put your best foot forward.  You need to do some soul searching and figure out why it is that your marriage was broken in the first place.  Was it infidelity?  Did you both give into the stresses of work and family?  Did you argue all the time about minutia?  You have to identify the problem first before you can fix it.

Once you know what the problem is, you need to go about fixing it.  Maybe you need a career change, or to grow more as a person?  If there was infidelity, then you will have to rebuilt the trust in your relationship.  Make some overtures to your ex-wife before you go too gung-ho.  She might look at your initial romantic advances with some suspicion.

How should I let her know how I feel?

You want to make small gestures towards your ex-wife first, just to see if she is interested.  You can’t force anyone to love you, and you can’t force the way she feels.  Maybe the divorce really upset her, or conversely, maybe she has thus moved on since your divorce and doesn’t feel like letting you back into her life.  You’ll have to do some persuading.

Make special time for her.  Try to remind her of what life was like when you first dated and you two were falling in love.  This will put her in the right mindset.  You’ll be the man she knew before the break up and the negative feelings that came from the separation might fade away.

Be patient with the process and don’t expect everything to turn out like a romantic comedy, and you should be fine.

Since you’ve read about how to get your wife back, I’d like to point you to more FREE content to help you change your wife’s mind. Learn how to rewind your relationship and make it so much better. You only need one simple secret and my FREE video presentation will show you how. Click here NOW to take back your relationship.

Here’s a question that was emailed to me recently:

For the past few months, my husband has been really distant. We don’t make love much and I feel like he’s beginning to move on. Things have been rocky in our marriage for some time, never to this point though. I’m hoping that you can help me find new ways to spice up our marriage before he asks for a divorce or cheats on me. Please help! I still love him.

Answer: This is a difficult situation but it isn’t uncommon. It’s always better to address these things as soon as they appear. Waiting until now wasn’t the best idea. However, it is as they say “better late than never.”

So what to do first? Where to start….

First off, always remember that you married for a reason.  That spark, that passion, is there, it’s just ebbed and gone out.  It’s to to rekindle it.  If you can, try to take some time out and deck your house in a romantic setting.  Send the kids to their aunts to play, because you are going to have a very adult night.  Fill the house with roses and get some aromatic incense to burn throughout the house.  Find some low volume, low key jazz music, and surprise your husband.

You see, men are natural hunters.  They’re made to hunt, to stalk through the forest and eventually grab their meal.  You have to tap into his primal need to hunt.  You see, this is actually quite pleasurable because you are going to be tapping into his primal sex urge as well, and he will thank you for it.  One way to get this effect is to leave a trail of rose petals to the bedroom or a bath.

You see, men need surprises, they need excitement, and they need something to break up their everyday lives.  Perhaps you have not helped him do that?  Surprises like this will give him something to look forward to, and see you as a sexual being he wants to make love to.  You want to blow his mind every time he thinks of you.

This is not a one time trick.  You are going to have to rework your relationship so that he sees you differently.  You cannot go back to the grind and monotony that defined your relationship before.  This is going to be quite an experience, but there’s no reason to feel afraid, because you can have a stronger, more fulfilling relationship from here on out.  Just peruse this website, and you’ll get all the information you’ll need.

Now that you’ve read about how to win your lover back, check out more info on how to fix your problems. My FREE video presentation shows you how to “rewind” your relationship and help you win back your lover. Click here NOW to see the secret behind every successful relationship.

When you want to know how to find a couples therapist it’s worth investing the time and energy into making the right decision. Your relationship (and your happiness) depends on it.How to find a Couples Therapist

It’s probably confusing if you want to get a couples therapist – you want to make the right decision, you want to know how you can choose the right person that’s going to make the biggest difference to your relationship.

I’ll give you some very clear advice on how to find a couples therapist so you can have full confidence that you made the right decision.

I got to say that in my opinion I would choose someone with a little bit of bias and the bias I’m talking about is when they want to help you make your relationship a success. Sometimes a problem with therapy or counseling is that it can be a little bit directionless.

Understanding this really is the key to knowing how to find a couples therapist. Discovering how to find a couples therapist is really mostly about understanding how couples counseling differs from individual therapy. It’s completely different.

It can be good to ask and be asked questions and to talk about your difficulties and open a medium from communication like you do in normal one-on-one therapy but there’s a lot of value in having someone who wants to facilitate your relationship getting better. Finding out how to find a couples therapist is really about getting someone that is focused on fixing your relationship.

They have a bit of bias and that bias is towards making a relationship a success because then you can actually work out a bit of a plan, you can implement strategies and there’s a much better chance to figure relationship going well.

I’d say that one of the goals is to make sure your marriage is strong or if you’re in a serious relationship to make sure it works out and you want to make sure that your therapist has this goal in mind. Discovering how to find a couples therapist is about getting someone that wants your marriage to work out and has systems and a structure to help you do just that.

Now it may not turn out the way you like and they may not end up being how to find a solution but I do believe you have a much greater chance of success if your therapist has an active focus to try and make the relationship work.

Identifying how to find a couples therapist will be closely related to that person’s ability to encourage you both to just have quite a positive solution oriented approach.

The problem with very directionless therapy is that you can sometimes not even get anywhere.

You can talk about your feelings and your problems but if the therapist is taking the usual point of view of being unbiased – where they’re not interested in either helping your relationship succeed or breaking it down – you end up sometimes a bit more confused in the end as in you are at start. You’ll know how to find a couples therapist by if you can really get that you want someone completely biased – in helping you fix your marriage.

So make sure you choose a therapist or counseling that has a bit more of a positive result space focus. Not one that will just take an independent unbiased perspective. This way you can trust how to find a couples therapist that will benefit you fully.

Find someone who is keen to help you get your marriage back on track and to make your relationship work. You’ll find how to find a couples therapist and not just find one – get one that will really get your marriage back on track.

Three Tips to Help You Repair Your Marriage!

These are three guiding principles that help make marriages strong, healthy and complete. If you want to repair your marriage, then these three principles are your answer.  Yes, it can be just that simple!

The first principle is listening. Start to repair your marriage by really listening.

To be part of a happy marriage, you need to have excellent listening skills. Many people make the mistake of thinking of listening as a passive skill. It’s actually an active skill. It involves different uses of your memory, facial expressions as well as prompting words and questions based on what you have heard. You have to be present when you are listening. It isn’t a time to tune out or listen to your own thoughts.

Here’s an exercise.  The next time your spouse begins a conversation, try to make notes in your mind about what he or she is saying.  This gets you “in” the conversation so to speak.  Your spouse will notice immediately that you are interested in what they’re saying, and they will, in turn, be more interested in you!

The better you are at listening, the more your partner will share. The more your partner shares, the more ideas you’ll have for solutions to repair your marriage.

The second important aspect of a healthy, happy marriage is to create and use healthy habits that will enable you to repair your marriage.

Think about these habits much like a fitness program. We all know that the way to have a healthy body is by doing daily exercise.  If we let a muscle go without exercise too long, it begins to atrophy.

the way to repair your marriage and make it healthy is by implementing healthy daily habits.

I personally like to the park every morning and do my fitness outdoors. I make time for my fitness routine because I know how important it is for my body. With your relationship, you have to make the time everyday for your partner. You need to show your partner how much you care about them. They need to feel intimacy, closeness, physical touch and that you are truly sharing in honest communication with them.

The stronger your daily fitness in your relationship, the stronger your relationship will be and the wish to repair your marriage will become a reality.

And the third thing that is very important is developing a clear communication strategy.  It’s like an advertising firm.  You have a product you want to sell.  You want people to clearly understand why your product is the best, and why they should buy.  Relationships are very similar.

You want to have systems and structures in place for regular communication. You want to be able to share your difficulties and concerns with your partner. Then the two of you can work on these issues together as a team.

Follow these three principles and your marriage will be bullet proof.

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