How To Fix A Marriage

As a  self appointed marriage guru, I’ve got some marriage guidance that will help you get through the good times and the bad.

Relationships are an investment.  An emotional investment and a time investment.  We spend time with our partner and nurture our relationships so that we are fulfilled as human beings and gain security and stability in life.  Living alone is not really what we were made to do.  Any marriage guidance worth its salt takes this reality into account.  What do I recommend for a long and happy marriage?

Treasure each day with your spouse.  I know, it sounds corny, and almost like out of a Disney movie, but it’s so true.  We do not take enough time, in my opinion, to value and treasure everything life has given us.  When you take time to treasure your spouse, that means that you renew your commitment to your marriage and all of the good it does in your life.

Treasuring your spouse can mean holding them after a bad day, spending time during the day just talking about the things that weigh on your minds, or going off on a great, spontaneous vacation.  Even leaving a note on the refrigerator, thanking your spouse for being a great person, is a wonderful way to say “You are special to me and I do not want to live without you!”

Always remember that no marriage is perfect, and you will most likely get into a disagreement with your spouse.  That’s normal.  Part of the reason you two are together is to accentuate your individuality and to be better people.  Part of that is maintaining your own sense of self, and that means that there may come times when you and your spouse are at loggerheads about a certain issue.

Know that no matter how bad your argument, there is a core to your marriage, a spiritual link that binds you.  These scuffles may make that link sway to and fro, and  it may be in danger of snapping, However, arguments and fights serve to remind us that our bond is stronger than any adversity.  When you realize that, then you will have all of the marriage guidance you could ever need.

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It takes time to heal from the pain of an affair.  If you are in need of affair healing, then let me help you through this difficult time.  

If your partner has cheated on you, then life can feel almost hopeless.  It’s the ultimate form of rejection and a sign that your partner has little to know respect for you and that they simply do not value your relationship.  You are probably over the initial shock of learning that your partner has done this to you, but now it’s time to pick up the pieces to your life.

First off, spend some time away.  A lot of times, someone who cheats will try to put things back to normal and act like nothing has happened.  This is another way of minimalizing the hurt you feel.  Do not fall for it.  It’s alright to be mad and it’s perfectly alright to simply acknowledge that your relationship has changed and will not be the way it used to be.  After an affair, there’s no going back.

The first thing you should do is try and go back to your daily routine.  Don’t talk to the person that cheated on you.  Let them know that you are hurt and that you will not be easily manipulated into being their main relationship while they have something on the sign.  This is just basic human respect and you have to demand it.

But it hurts so bad….

Affair healing takes time, but it also takes a lot of courage to deal with all of the bad feelings and to remain adamant that you maintain your self respect.  You need to be prepared to break off the relationship.  Of course, after your period away from the cheater, you do need to listen to why they cheated on you.  Maybe you were distant and away too often, and they couldn’t go to you for physical comfort.  This happens a lot.  If that’s the case, you can try and work on your relationship.

If they are feeding you lies, however, do not hesitate to just move on . You are not a side thing, you are not a fling, and you are not just someone they can use for sex when they want.  If you continue in a relationship like that, your self worth will plummet, and it’ll be even harder to deal with your partner the next time they have an affair.

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Are you trying to get your ex back, but you need something unconventional to do it?  Here are some weird tricks to bring your ex back!

I have written many articles about what you can do to get your ex back, but sometimes, the conventional stuff just doesn’t cut it.  Every relationship is different. Sometimes you can get your ex back by concentrating on becoming a new person, while other times, you can get your ex back by trying to rekindle the spark between the two of you.  However, in some situations, you can’t just do the same old thing. Your ex will have to be really excited to be back with you, in which case, you’ll need some weird tricks up your sleeve.

One of the quirkiest things you can do is try to flirt with your ex incognito.  You need to get some sunglasses, a costume, and to take on a brand new identity.  Have fun with this idea!  If you want to be a Parisian fashion designer on assignment from France or if you want to be a body builder visiting for a competition, then do that.  You see, your ex will never expect you to take on a brand new guise, a new persona, and you can really romance them by pulling them into your fantasy world.

There is one thing about getting your ex back that really makes a difference, and that is the element of surprise.  That’s why it is so important for you to try something fresh and new that will truly surprise your ex and get things started again.

Another weird idea that you can try is for you to try and stage a meeting with your ex.  For instance, if you know that  your ex likes to hang out at a certain mall or they love a certain store, then try to frequent that store yourself and run into them.  Don’t be bland about it though!  For instance, I know one woman who knew that her boyfriend was working at a hospital, so she decided to dress in a ridiculously sexy outfit and go rollerskating.  When she saw him, she literally fell in his arms.

You see, weird tricks are not really going to magically get your ex back . What does it is breaking the old mold, smashing it to pieces, and starting over anew.  You have to convince your ex that life will be different if you two get back together, so if you can do that, things will be alright.

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We have a lot of experience with helping people just like you to have a better marriage.

I want to talk about a very powerful principle with regards to having a better marriage.  There’s a book written about it and I highly recommend getting this book if you can. It’s called “Radical Honesty” and it’s really about taking the level of honesty you have to a whole new level in your life, with yourself, and in particular, your relationship.

Usually increased honesty and a better marriage go hand-in-hand.

I’ve got to say the level of honesty that the author goes to in his relationships does scare me a little bit. I find his level of honesty to be very confrontational.  The author makes his case though that the root cause of many problems in relationships is a lack of honesty.  It’s better to say what you feel than suppress your feelings and explode later.

Having a better marriage is an excellent goal and this can be achieved with a dramatic surge in honesty in your relationship. You may think this is risky, but it will take a very big load off your shoulders. Not only can honesty help you have a better marriage, it’s a powerful feel good tonic at the same time.

Self censorship is a marriage killer.  The book goes into great detail at how many married couples experience a lot of problems simply by hiding each other’s feelings from each other for fear something awful will happen.  In fact, honesty can be very healthy.  Ripping the bandaid off now makes more sense.

I highly recommend as a way to have a better marriage, learn to be more honest with each other.

This will be a gradual process.  Learn to just say what you feel.  Saying what we think and how we feel straight out   We learn in our youth when to show our emotions and when not to, so undoing all of that programming will obviously take time.  Be patient with yourself!

You’ll find that being honest will decrease a lot of your anxiety, a lot of your stress and will strengthen the bonds of your relationship because as you set the lead of being more honest, your partner is going to feel motivated to be a little more honest as well.

Implement the concept of radical honesty in your relationship. It’s the secret to a better marriage.  Stop keeping secrets, stop hiding things and stop lying. Having a better marriage is worth any pain that is associated with truths.

All dishonesty does is cripple your self-esteem and reduce your self-worth and it’s like a toxic poison for how you feel about yourself. Having a better marriage is only one of the side-effects of being more honest Be radically honest.

So shed this completely, make an effort to be more honest with your partner than you’ve ever been before and more honest with yourself.

Your marriage will love you for it.

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