How To Save Your Marriage

If things aren’t working in your relationship and you’re always fighting with one another, life can be stressful. These four tips will help you lose the screaming and get rid of the silent treatment.

#1. Learn to control your temper

Your relationship can be stronger and more successful if you are able to control your temper. Learn more positive ways of reacting and responding to stress and disagreements  with your girl.

#2. Talk about what’s wrong

Instead of withdrawing or lashing out, stay calm. Sit down and talk about what’s bothering you. Make sure that each person has the time to be there. Be honest. Expect honesty from her.

#3. Try to see her side

If you start the talk and you’re only looking for her to apologize, then you’ve missed the point. Listen to what she’s saying. Apologize if you need to. Explain where you’re coming from, but try to figure out where she’s coming from as well.

#4. Seek counseling if necessary

If marriage or relationship counseling is necessary, then do it. You’ll know if you need it by paying attention to how often you have arguments and how successful your attempts to resolve it are. When both of you cannot sit down together and talk through things, then you’ll know that it’s gone too far. You can learn how to resolve things on your own and there isn’t any shame in asking for help by reaching out to a relationship counseling professional. However, if you are able to resolve things on your own, that’s okay too. Just be honest when you look at your communication strategies and the way the two of you resolve things.

With these tips put into play, you’ll find that you have less arguments and that when you do they can be easily resolved. Conflict resolution and communication are two of the most important skills in all relationships, not just romantic relationships.

I want to stop my divorce. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Just saying it won’t work though, you’ve got to do a lot of work to save your marriage…

There are very few magic salves to fix a marriage.  There are some guidelines though.  Think about the following when you’re considering what to do next.  My advice comes from talking with people about their marital problems.  The same problems come up more often than you might think.

1. Admit when you’re wrong. 

Your partner wants to know when you’ve messed up and they want you to acknowledge it. I know that your partner has made mistakes and they need to acknowledge those as well. Still, if you refuse to own up to your mistakes, you will send the relationship spiraling into disaster and divorce. It is a sign a maturity to admit when you’re wrong and your partner will appreciate that.  Swallow your ego, and just do it!

2. Compromise. Compromise. Compromise.

This is something that we hear all the time but we ignore. It’s important to remember that compromising is necessary. It’s the only way that both of you can be happy. And marriage is all about compromise.  If you really want to know how to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you must learn when to bend and when to be firm.  If your spouse is making demands of you and feels that you are not listening, stop for a second, maybe they’re right.

3. Listen

In a successful marriage, both partners listen to one another. They care about one another and they respect one another, but most importantly, they LISTEN. If you aren’t listening to your partner, then it’s no surprise that divorce is on the table. Start listening to what your partner wants and to what their needs are. Then they can listen to you. Together you can address the real problems by first knowing what they are and then by understanding how you both feel about them.

With these three tips actively in place, you’ll notice a dramatic difference in your relationship. I know, compromising and listening sound like advice from a self help book.  But, with all of the couples I’ve helped over the years who were begging me for advice on how to stop their divorce and save their marriage, it is all easily applicable to real life.  If you still need help, consider going to couples therapy. Don’t give up on your marriage!

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Three Tips to Help You Repair Your Marriage!

These are three guiding principles that help make marriages strong, healthy and complete. If you want to repair your marriage, then these three principles are your answer.  Yes, it can be just that simple!

The first principle is listening. Start to repair your marriage by really listening.

To be part of a happy marriage, you need to have excellent listening skills. Many people make the mistake of thinking of listening as a passive skill. It’s actually an active skill. It involves different uses of your memory, facial expressions as well as prompting words and questions based on what you have heard. You have to be present when you are listening. It isn’t a time to tune out or listen to your own thoughts.

Here’s an exercise.  The next time your spouse begins a conversation, try to make notes in your mind about what he or she is saying.  This gets you “in” the conversation so to speak.  Your spouse will notice immediately that you are interested in what they’re saying, and they will, in turn, be more interested in you!

The better you are at listening, the more your partner will share. The more your partner shares, the more ideas you’ll have for solutions to repair your marriage.

The second important aspect of a healthy, happy marriage is to create and use healthy habits that will enable you to repair your marriage.

Think about these habits much like a fitness program. We all know that the way to have a healthy body is by doing daily exercise.  If we let a muscle go without exercise too long, it begins to atrophy.

the way to repair your marriage and make it healthy is by implementing healthy daily habits.

I personally like to the park every morning and do my fitness outdoors. I make time for my fitness routine because I know how important it is for my body. With your relationship, you have to make the time everyday for your partner. You need to show your partner how much you care about them. They need to feel intimacy, closeness, physical touch and that you are truly sharing in honest communication with them.

The stronger your daily fitness in your relationship, the stronger your relationship will be and the wish to repair your marriage will become a reality.

And the third thing that is very important is developing a clear communication strategy.  It’s like an advertising firm.  You have a product you want to sell.  You want people to clearly understand why your product is the best, and why they should buy.  Relationships are very similar.

You want to have systems and structures in place for regular communication. You want to be able to share your difficulties and concerns with your partner. Then the two of you can work on these issues together as a team.

Follow these three principles and your marriage will be bullet proof.

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Do you need a relationship rescue? If you’ve found this article, then I’m guessing you do.

I hope you’re prepared to roll up your sleeves, because if you are in need of relationship rescue, then things have gotten pretty bad.  First thing’s first, we need to identify the problem as specifically as we can and singlemindedly work towards a solution.  My advice is succinct and to the point, so it may not be what you want to hear, but it’s what you need to take to heart.

Are you in a rut?  A passionless relationship needs a major rescue plan if you want any hope of salvaging it.  This is especially true if you’ve let things stagnate past the point of no return.  If you find yourself coming home, exhausted, with no interest in having any romance or making love with your partner, you need a relationship defibrillator.

Romance cannot die in relationships.  I don’t care how monotonous your relationship has gotten.  I know sometimes routine can feel mechanical, and in a way, it makes us feel safe, but romance is not about feeling safe.  It’s about challenging yourself to grow in your relationship.  If you’re not doing new things, if you’re not having fantastic romantic weekend getaways, then you’re not living up to your potential.

The first thing to do is sit down with your significant other and start a Dream Journal.   A dream journal is something I started with my wife when we were first together and wanted to write out what we were looking forward to doing together in the future.  You see, you work harder as a couple when you have goals.  One of the things my wife and I put in your dream journal was an Alaskan cruise.  My wife wanted to see the glittering glaciers of the north up close and personal.

I wanted to do something wild and exotic.  I wanted to go skinnydipping near a waterfall.  My wife and I had a good laugh when I first proposed that, but that’s the fun of a dream journal: it’s there for you to figure out what you want out of life and how your partner can help you get there.  This is the basis of relationship rescue.

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In order to save your marriage you need to start early.  Figure out what’s wrong.  It sounds simple, but it’s not.Save Your Marriage.

If you are wondering how to save your marriage, then you need to ask yourself one very simple question.

Why save my marriage?

Get your journal and a pen, or get your computer and start writing. Think of the reasons you want to save your  marriage.  This might sound like strange advice.  After all, who wouldn’t want to save their marriage?  Why ask such a silly question? Well, for right now, just get than pen moving!

It might be easier to list out the reasons.  It doesn’t have to be a great work of fiction, you can just list out sentences of why you want your marriage to stay together.

The point of this exercise is for you to think about the great parts of your marriage, and to help you understand that saving your marriage is a prize that’s worth working for.  It also helps you pinpoint all of the problem spots so you don’t waste your time with needless worry.

Think about exactly what it is you want, what’s going to make you happy, and how you can move forward in your relationship in the best possible way.

One thing that you will want to consider is couples therapy. A therapist can help you find the root causes of your problems and address them. They can help you devise a plan to save your marriage.

Don’t be afraid of going to therapy. After all, you will be going together. You want to face your demons, face what is difficult and find answers. Create solutions that work so you can save your marriage.

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If you want to save a marriage then you need to remember what life was like when you were first married.  It’s not as hard as you might think!

If you want to know how to save a marriage, then you probably know that there aren’t any easy answers and everyone’s situation is different.  If you feel like you are at divorce’s door, then you may feel desperate and uneasy about life and want things to return to the way they were before your life took a turn for the worse.  Maybe you’re facing divorce because of infidelity, or maybe finances and the stress of work have taken their toll.  There are some things you should think about.

Part of remembering what life was like when you were first married is to rekindle the very emotions that strengthened your marriage in the first place.  All too often I get emails from people who have forgotten the magic of getting married, and just needed to be reminded of what brought them together in the first place.  I might have some unique ideas to do this.

Go back to the place where you first met.  Was it a restaurant?  Was it in a special place?  it’d be great you could relive the story of how you and your significant other first fell in love.  This will invoke all of the emotions about your marriage that have been dormant for so long.  They will awaken, and you can start saving your marriage.  You see, if you are asking yourself how to save a marriage, it means that you’ve forgotten the bedrock of your marriage, and you need to revisit it: literally.

You see, marriage starts off with magic and then it wanes.  It happens to everyone. The magic doesn’t seem to last forever.  We get into a routine.  This is practically the death of marriage.  We wake up, we go to work, and then we spend the evening doing mundane things.  There’s no adventure in that kind of life.  This is why a marriage soon loses its flavor, and then we are feeling distant and as if life has taken a turn for the worse.

Identify where you and your spouse are feeling the most distant.  Do you not see each other enough?  It’s easy to let your career or life pull you apart when you should be relying on each other for strength.  It might be difficult to be more vulnerable to your spouse, but in many cases, you can save a marriage by renewing the feels that you had for each other when you were first married, and learn to rely on each other as you once did.

Talk to each other!  You’d be surprised how many marriages go to pot because one of the spouses doesn’t let out their feelings.  Your spouse cannot help you if you say nothing.  Problems fester, and what could have been is always hanging over your head.  If you’re really wondering about how to save a marriage, then you need to communicate.

One sure fire way to save a marriage is to go to a marriage retreat.  The best retreats are the intensive ones where you and your spouse sit down with a marriage specialist, a licensed therapist, who will look at your whole relationship and use their experience and wisdom to help you both select the best life path.   These retreats are intense.  Expect to really delve deep into your marriage problems and even into your past.  Be forewarned, though, marriage retreats are not necessarily always going to save your marriage.  Sometimes, if it’s best that you and your partner separate, then the specialist may recommend that.

The key to saving a marriage is to remember all the different things that brought you and your spouse together.  It’s easy to despair and say that everything is going to fall apart, but there was a bond between you and your spouse in the beginning, and more many people, it’s all about rekindling the passion and the connection that made your marriage work in the first place.

If the love you have is real, then it will last through any bad patch.

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To stop your divorce, you need to take stock of what’s really important in life and grab hold.

How bad do you want to stop your divorce?  Sounds like a silly question huh?  Well, it’s really important to focus on just how much you want to keep your marriage.  How important is it to you?  Are you a better person now that you are married?  To what lengths would you go to make sure your marriage is secure.  Answering these initial questions will help you figure out the next part of your journey.

If you feel that you need to stop your divorce at all costs, that if you were to be divorced, your life would be effectively crushed, then I’m glad you’ve figured it out.  See, I always ask people how much they want to stop their divorce, because it helps them think about why it is they value their relationship.  One problem in long term relationships is that you get so familiar with a single person that you start to forget the many reasons why it is you treasure them.

The best advice I can give you on how to stop a divorce is based on rediscovering what it is you find irresistible about your partner, and having them rediscover it with you.  One exercise I find that helps people a lot is for them to list the five most wonderful things about their partner that they can think of.  It sounds weird, I know. If you’re in the middle of a fight, how could you possibly be thinking good things about your partner?  This exercise takes the strife and anger out of the situation and instead focuses both members on the positive.

If you really feel that focusing on the positive is not going to cut it for stopping your divorce, then I highly recommend for you to see a marriage counselor immediately. They can delve into the complex psychological reasons you and your spouse are having problems.  You may need a professional to help you wade through any abuse or trauma you or your partner may have experienced from an earlier relationship.

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Stopping a divorce can be difficult. I cannot guarantee success, but I can get you on the road to getting back together.

Divorce is really terrible and you should try to stop it at any cost.  There are rare cases where I would say divorce is preferable to staying together.  If there has been infidelity, or if your spouse is violent or has hurt you physically, then I would seriously recommend getting a divorce.  If your problems are that severe then divorce may be the correct move.  If not, read on for some tips for stopping a divorce in its tracks.

You cannot go about the same life pattern and expect different results.  If your divorce is due to the stress and hardship of your life, then you need to change that.  One of the biggest reasons that people get divorced is financial.  A lot of times, a loss of a job or a sudden downturn in income will make your everyday life awful.  If that’s the case, you cannot expect to renew your relationship without getting your house in order.

If there are any external causes that are causing stress on your marriage, then the first step you should take is to identify them and get rid of them.  You see, when we move into the direct actions you should take to repair your marriage, you’ll find it quite difficult to fix things.  So, get on that first.  Now that you’ve got your house in order, and everything is set, now you and your spouse need to take some time off to work with each other.

You see, people who want to get divorced feel like they’re past the point of no return.  In order to stop your divorce, you have to rebuild that trust.  There are plenty of trust building exercises you can get from books in the library.  Trust falls and long conversations are one way of rebuilding the trust gap in the relationship.  Learn to talk to each other with fresh eyes.  Do not hold anything back. Tell your problems honestly!

Honesty is the foundation of trust.  Without true honesty, you can never get your relationship back on track.

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Here are three tips you can use to save a marriage.  They are tested and have been known to work.  Just do them!

The first tip is to do as many couples exercises as possible. Just tips to save a marriage won’t have as much impact as actual exercises.  You have to be proactive in saving your marriage.  You cannot sit back and wait for life to make decisions for you.

There’s a lot out there that can really help you for your relationship. These are better than tips to save a marriage because exercises are like fun little challenges you complete together.  My website is really a great start to get a new handle on your relationship and see all the possibilities for yourself.

With a couple’s exercise it is something you can together. It can be in the form of an assessment to more of a homework form, physical exercises and questions. You want something that you can actively do together. This is what causes growth in a relationship.

What do these exercises actually do?

These exercises function as a kind of communication tool and are a good way to add a bit of “fun” to this process. These exercises and tips to save a marriage could really push you outside your comfort zone – this is why they work.

Think of it as a board game. When I was younger, I loved playing Monopoly and Stratego. Consider these exercises as ways to create a fun game with your partner while working on your relationship. You’ll be amazed at your new growth.

Secondly, you want to have a really good strategy for dealing with conflict and stress because when you’ve got problems in your life, you need to have a system and strategy for dealing with them that is effective. You don’t want stress to ruin your relationship.

Use humor to try and combat negative emotions.  Laughter is the best cure for a negative mood and its useful to snap yourself out of an argumentative state. Perhaps you need to have a time out. Some couples have a word that they use when things are beginning to reach a nasty place. Then when the word is said, they leave and go into different rooms. Then later, after they have both calmed down, they come back together and talk things through rationally.

The third principle is to be extremely positive about your marriage. Any tips to save a marriage need to be based on the idea that you can have the best marriage imaginable.

You need to feel very optimistic about your relationship. Think of all of the wonderful things that you love about your partner.

For the time being, focus on your strengths. Look at the things both of you do well. Look at the really good parts of your marriage and look to increase the magnitude of this and to really strengthen your strengths.

From these, you’ll be able to get the energy and the resources to resolve and address the weaknesses as well.

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If you want to succeed in saving an estranged marriage, then you need to find the core of the problem.

An estranged marriage is usually because of special circumstances.  There are many reasons to be married, but to live completely apart from one another.  This is often due to one spouse having a mental illness or a terminal disease, or the relationship devolving to a point where neither partner really wants to take part in the other’s life, but they don’t feel like going through a divorce.  This is relationship limbo.

If your partner is sick or mentally ill, then life can be very difficult for you.  Watching your spouse in the hospital or mental illness ward is tough.  It is important you do not abandon them though.  We’ve all seen the tabloids with the husband who leaves his wife in a coma, or the man who drops his wife off at an asylum and is never seen again.  On the other hand though, if your wife is never going to get better or if you’re wife will never leave the asylum, what will you do with your future?

In some cases, it is alright to step away.  You can still maintain your legal rights regarding your spouse if they are terminally ill so you can make decisions about their medical care.  However, in some cases, you may not be legally able to divorce them, and might feel bad about seeking out new people.  You can be happy either way, just be sure you know what your’e doing.  There have been cases of people waking up from comas and their spouses having moved on.

If you are simply separated from your spouse, then you might need to read some of my articles on how to get your ex back.  That is, if you want to rekindle the old flame of your relationship.  If not, then you might want to simply break it off.  Leaving a relationship in limbo just heightens the emotional pain of any eventually break off.  Better to pull the band-aid off now.

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