Long Distance Relationships

Is your relationship about to end?  Do you feel anxious about the future?  If you are worried about relationship endings and worried about your own, here’s some advice.  

You may wonder if your relationship is over.  Sometimes it feels like we could just hang on a little longer, but that’s not necessarily true.  When a relationship ends, it feels like everything is up in the air and the future is unclear.  It’s absolutely important that when we feel a relationship is ending to keep logical.

Here are four key points to consider if you think your relationship is ending. These are danger signs for your relationship.

The first is constant fighting and arguing. That is one common sign that a relationship is ending.  In fact, I’d say that this is a surefire sign.This is not healthy. I’m not talking about minor disagreements. Those are bound to happen and will continue to happen. However, if you’re always having disagreements and conflicts then there is a problem.

The second thing is a sense of distance between the two of you. If you feel some sort of disconnect from your partner then you need to take notice. Do you feel you cannot talk to them as intimately as you used to?  Communication is important in a relationship and if the two of you feel that you are on opposite ends of the world, you want to address these feelings. Or you may find that you have a physical gap and both want different things in terms of intimacy.

Next is cheating. Any kind of infidelity or even just looking elsewhere for a deep, emotional connection is a bad sign.  If your partner has cheated on you then you need to head straight for the exit.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances but the best way to not let it happen again is to close the door and kill the possibility forever.

The fourth is lack of enjoyment. This is a pretty easy aspect to notice about a relationship. You’re bored, they are sexually frustrated and you don’t look forward to spending time together. This can often be a factor if you think your relationship is ending.

If you notice these signs in your relationship it’s important that you act immediately. Don’t panic. “My relationship is ending!” It doesn’t have to. Relationships don’t heal themselves, but you can heal yours if you are willing to put in the effort. Think of your relationship as an investment and begin investing heavily now.

So here’s what I suggest you do. First, figure out what’s going on and create a game plan. Whether you want the relationship to end or you want to save it, you need to create a plan. Then follow it. The worst feeling is repeating the same problems over and over again. Talk openly and honestly with your partner and evaluate your feelings together.

If you are worried that your relationship is ending, make sure you take action immediately. It’s alway best to prevent the ending then try to get back together after you’ve already broken up.

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It’s hard to believe that there are still people who don’t know what an online dating service is, but in case you missed the digital revolution, here’s the skinny.

The online dating service has essentially replaced newspaper personal ads as a way for people to find possible mates.  An online dating site will allow you to setup a profile, answer some questions about yourself, and try to find people that might be compatible with you.

1. Profiles – You get to make your own profile and your matches will have their own profiles. Usually this includes photos, answered questions (How many books have you read in the last year?) and hobbies. It may include religion and occupational status.  Try to make your profile stand out and be sure to have a picture.  Profiles with no picture don’t get noticed.

2. Compatibility Tests – Whether these are actually helpful or not is debatable. It does seem that some work well while others are merely a draw to lure people in. The best compatibility tests will ask questions about your values, beliefs and relationship needs. Then  it will match you with those who meet most of your qualifications.

3. Messaging System – One of the benefits of online dating services is the built-in messaging services. While you are getting to know matches you can communicate with them through the site rather than through your personal Facebook or MySpace pages. It also lets you avoid using your personal email as well. Eventually, if you really like someone, you may then ask about moving your relationship to one of these personal mediums for further communication.

4. Payment – There are very few effective “free” online dating services. If you are looking for an online dating service then you should expect to cough up a bit of cash.  Most are free if all you’re looking to do is put up a profile, but you will have to pay if you want to communicate with a prospective mate.

In the end, online dating sites are there to help you find a potential partner. They may work for you, they may not. The only way to find out is to be open and daring enough to make the attempt.

Seeing marriage problems signs early is very important.Seeing marriage problems signs?

What do we need to watch out for if we think we’re seeing signs of marriage problems?  We might think our marriage is going just fine, but are there special signs we should keep an eye on so that we can predict a problem before it becomes too much to handle?  There are, and if you’re knowledgeable, you can save your marriage before it’s too late!

First off, how often do you and your spouse make love?  Physical intimacy is the bedrock for many marriages.  Without it, your marriage devolves into simply a great friendship, and for many people, that’s just not enough.  If you feel your love life has taken a turn for the worse, it’s time to head off the problem and do something spontaneous and romantic.  Make sure that it breaks your normal routine and that your spouse is genuinely surprised.  Nothing builds romance and passion like uncertainty and spontaneity.

Another marriage problem sign you need to watch out for is if your spouse seems distant or aloof when they had been interested and engaged before.  This can be a surefire sign of marriage boredom, and if left to fester, can turn into strife later.  Marriage is supposed to build both people within the relationship and can offer ways for both people to grow and experience life in ways they couldn’t as individuals.  If your relationship isn’t accomplishing this, boredom can set in, and so can the wandering eye.

Does your spouse avoid you?  This might be, in fact, unthinkable for a couple.  However, when the glow of being newlyweds fades, have you fallen into the rut of monotony?  Do you feel that you do not need to do anything special for your mate now that you are married?  If you don’t show your partner that you value your relationship with them, they may feel slighted and distant.  They may find that staying at work extra hours or going out with their friends may be preferable to being home with you.

This might sound harsh, but relationships are ongoing and require a lot of work.  Your partner entered the marriage with you out of love, respect, passion, and because they though their life would be enhanced.  You most likely did for the same reasons, or more.  You cannot just rest on your laurels after you say “I do.”  It’s time to make the most of your relationship with your partner and to cherish them.

Do activities you know your partner loves, or talk about subjects they like to talk about.  Let them know you value your time together, and your marriage will take on a new character.  Change your home décor and buy a new car.  Go to a movie you would never otherwise go to or take up a new sport.  Take your spouse out to an art festival or to samba dancing.  There’s a world of new activities.

There are more signs of a strained marriage, but if you notice that your spouse is avoiding you, or you are having fewer and fewer chances to have intimate relations, or if you feel like your partner is just plain bored, there are ways to head off these problems so that you don’t find yourself in a psychologist’s office, wondering why you have to now have marriage counseling.

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Being in a long distance relationship is one of the hardest things imaginable.

There are three things that are key to make your long distance relationship a success. The pain of long distance relationship is well known.  It can be so hard to maintain passion and strong feels when you’re hundreds of miles away.  There’s also the threat of becoming jealous that your partner is fooling around behind your back.  Here is how we can make long distance relationships work.

The first thing to remember is that you have to live your daily life as you normally would.  You’ve decided that you love your partner enough to maintain your relationship against the odds. This is a good sign.  Be sure your partner is also in it as well, because you don’t want to feel like you’re trying and your partner is not.  This can create resentment and wreak havoc on your relationship.

One good way of surviving a long distance relationship is to send each other little messages over email or Facebook.  This way, you feel more connected.  It doesn’t have to be long, in fact, you kind of do want lots of little short messages to make you feel like the relationship is still alive and well.  Don’t be annoying about it and send a text every hour, though.  That would make you seem desperate.

Try to have one good phone conversation a week.  My experience is to not schedule it every week, but to make it fit your schedules.  The reason for that is if you pick one specific day where you’ll call each other, what happens if your partner can’t?  You’ll feel they’re avoiding you.  The most important part of surviving a long term relationship is to minimize the occasions where there could be a misunderstanding.

Now, the heart of a long distance relationship is the anticipation of seeing each other again.  Don’t do this too soon after you move away.  You want absence to make your partner’s heart grow fonder.  If they spend most of their time fantasizing about what it will be like to see you again, well, we know how much fun building anticipation can be.

When you do see each other, be sure to make it a special occasion and do something extravagant or wild.  Don’t just make it sitting around the house and watching TV.  You’ll bore each other, and when your partner heads back to their life, they’ll wonder why they left it in the first place.  Don’t let that happen.

Now that you’ve read about how to make a long distance relationship work, check out more info on how keep it good as new. My FREE video presentation shows you how to “rewind” your relationship if things aren’t working. Click here NOW to see the secret behind every happy, successful relationship.