Missing Your Ex

So, you’ve slept with your ex and you really didn’t mean to?  Well, let’s see if that’s true.
Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes they include a special someone from our past: an ex. If you slip up and sleep with your ex, what does it mean and what should you do about it?

First, stop it. Don’t sleep with him or her again. It’s never just about sex when an ex is involved. There are feelings at stake, often complex ones, regardless of whether you are the dumper or the dumpee.

You do not want your ex to use your sleeping together as emotional blackmail.  You’re human.  Your emotions and your needs caused you to sleep with your ex.  You probably wanted things to go back to the way they were.  You wanted the comfort and safety of being in a relationship.

I feel used and I feel abused…. 

Prevent it. If you can, make sure it doesn’t happen! If it’s already happened, prevent it from happening again. Once again, stop it!  The more you sleep with them the more your body will train itself to respond to that other person romantically.   That’s not what you want to have happen.  It’ll lead down a long dark road.

I feel so confused right now.

Completely understandable.  Give yourself a break.  You are completely human. No one is perfect and you have no idea how many emails I get with people that have done the exact same thing you have.  If you’re not intent on rekindling the romance with your ex, then you just need to cut it off at the bud and move on.

Try to work through your feelings and why you chose to sleep with your ex. If you were the one who was dumped to begin with, you may be trying to win your ex back. Not only is this dangerous, but it won’t happen. There’s a reason that the two of you broke up and it should stay that way.

Maybe this is what happens when you try to have a friendship together. If this is true, then lose the friendship. Say goodbye and let your ex fade from your life. Keeping him or her around is only going to harm you if you continue to slip up and sleep with them.

Give yourself a break and try not to beat yourself up for making this mistake, but remember that it doesn’t need to happen again. Look at the feelings that may have come up and sort through them. Process them and allow yourself to heal. Then move on and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Tell your ex how you feel and leave it at that.

To help you work through your feelings, resources are available. Whether you simply want to figure out what went wrong and move on or possibly try to get your ex back, watch my FREE video presentation to learn how to sort things out…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

Finding a healthy way to deal with relationship break-ups is a life skill in and of itself…

Relationship break-ups can really ruin our life rhythm.  Our life goes from feeling in sync, like our circle is complete, to a darkness that pervades our senses and takes the sweet taste of life.  You begin to blame yourself and run through your mind about how things could have been different.  What if you had just been more open minded?  What if you had been more flexible, or listened more?  What could you have done to prevent the breakup?  These kinds of thoughts are unproductive and I’ll help you figure out how to move past them.

The first thing you should do is forgive yourself.  You may not be able to forgive your partner right now for all the hurt feelings that come with any break up.  Maybe you broke up because of infidelity or because your partner felt that  their life path would take them somewhere where you weren’t.  This happens.  You must first forgive yourself and stop torturing yourself over what’s happened in the past.  You must go through the grief of loss, and then give your relationship a funeral.

It’s Okay to Grieve

Grief is a natural part of loss, and an essential part of life.  We grieve so that we can remember the good parts, and then move on.  Perhaps you are not used to grieving?  Perhaps you want to hang onto your relationship.  If you hang on to it, it’s real for you in some way.  This part is natural.  Remember your relationship  for what it was.  Was there passion?  Was their excitement?  Was there romance?  Did you feel secure in knowing you had found your soul mate and that life was looking up?

It is so crucial that you do not feel self pity or try to suppress your emotions.  You don’t have to carry on as if life was perfect without your significant other.  It’s okay to go home and cry, to look over old photos, and to let yourself feel what you feel.  This is such an important step.

Give Your Relationship a Funeral

It’s time to forget the past.  It’s over with.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend are probably going through as much internal turmoil as you are, but it’s not time to dwell on that. You need to start concentrating on your future and thinking about how you want to improve your life from here on out . Remember to always cherish yourself.  Treat yourself to a candlelight dinner or take a walk through the park.  Write a poem about yourself.  It’s time to think of silly ways you can remind yourself about just how wonderful of a person you are, and to forget your ex forever.


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If you’re wondering about how to get an ex back, there are some new ideas you might want to consider.

I want to talk about how you can clear energy blockages in yourself.  No, this is not some new age mumbo-jumbo.  Everyone has energy and sometimes when we don’t meet our expectations in life, that’s because our positive energy is being blocked.

One thing that happens on an internal level when you experience trauma or a bad breakup is your energy centers get blocked. One of the biggest things to learn when trying to figure out how to get an ex back is to unblock these energy centers.

Now if clearing your energy sounds a bit mystical and alternative stick with me because it does have a scientific basis. You can feel for yourself when your energy is flowing the way it should.

When your energy is moving like it should, you feel full or energy, optimistic, excited, and inspired with a vision for the future. This is the sort of energy you want when you’re figuring out how to get an ex back.

We also know what it’s like when our energy feels blocked.

You might be fatigued, uninspired, irritable, depressed or you may just feel damned unlucky. This is the worst possible to energy to have if you want to find out how to get an ex back.

What I encourage you to do is focus on clearing these energy blockages.  No, you don’t have to be Einstein to realize that if you DO want to get your ex back, it’s going to be a lot easier and a lot better to do that when your energy is flowing freely.

So when you’re feeling inspired, you’re feeling creative, joyful, energetic you can actually make use of information that teaches you how to get an ex back.

I recommend three things to clear your energy centers. Do this before you start to implement advice on how to get an ex back.

To get your energy flowing and to remove any blocks needs to be your no.1 focus right now.  First of all it’s time to change your life.

What I want you to do is throw away or donate any unused or unwanted items.  Rummage through your closet or attic if need be.

Start with cleaning your house. You might wonder what this has to do with knowing how to get an ex back – it’s all about your energy!  Our environment affects our mood.  It affects our outlook.  You want to have a brand new environment, because without it, you cannot have the fresh perspective you need.  

I read a book on business and the advice of the writer was if you want more business, more clients, more money, clear out your garage. It might seem unrelated, but removing clutter from your mind unblocks your energy centers.  Strange advice that works. Same with learning how to get an ex back.

That business coach found that clearing out the garage instantly cleared up space in his client’s minds and they got more customers for their businesses.

Second thing is to look at anything you’ve been putting off.

Don’t put off for tomorrow what you could do today.  Procrastination is a big energy blocker.  Don’t let bills pile up and don’t let old relationships fester.  Get your life in order, or else your energy will be dispersed everywhere.  I highly recommend attacking these. Starting doing this immediately.

I find myself that I feel good when I attack these little pockets and corners of my life where disorganization can happen.I feel good when my life is completely in order.  Everything is clean and organized. It helps me get my mind off of how to get my ex back, and back onto the most important things in life.

The next tip is to get outdoors and into nature.

Nature is majestic and makes us feel at one with our prehistoric selves.  Getting out into nature could mean going to a beach or taking a hike.

Getting outdoors into the ocean, maybe going surfing or going out on a jet ski. You might actually discover how to get an ex back when you get into this relaxed headspace.

There is something very powerful about getting into nature that can align our energy and get our energy flowing.  We are creatures that are in tune with our natural surroundings, and feel out of whack when we spend too long in the concrete jungle.

So those are the three tips I use in my life to get my energy flowing again and to get me feeling motivated and energized.  The question of how to get my ex back simply fell into place once my energy was aligned properly.

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What to say to get my ex back? Many people find themselves asking this question.

Throughout these articles, I really want to help you lay the ground work for getting your ex back. Understanding what to say to get your ex back usually starts with some basic steps.

Figuring out what those first one or two steps are will give you the greatest chance of success. It’s one of the most powerful ways to approach getting your ex back that i’ve seen. what to say to get my ex back – it’s something many people wonder but few people ever figure out. if you’re ready to be honest with yourself then proceed. i’ll help you get your ex back.

If you’re living in a state of denial or are dishonest with yourself, then you won’t be able to get your ex back. What to say to get my ex back? I know you’re still asking this question but read on and I’ll explain.

Sometimes we’re the easiest people to trick; it’s often easier to lie to ourselves than it is to lie to anyone else. Determining “what to say to get my ex back” is about discovering that awareness that only comes from living in consciousness.

It’s very difficult for you to figure out what’s really going on and take the action required to get your ex back, if you are lying to yourself.

So these are the three things you can do to help minimize this problem.

The first one involves stopping your rationalizing. Rationalization is what happens when there is something or someone in your life that you don’t like and you rationalize why you should put up with it, why you should change or why you shouldn’t change.

If you want to “get my ex back”, then you need to figure out what you are rationalizing and why. These rationalizations may or may not have to do with your ex but there is only one way to find out. Look within and examine yourself with loving but critical honesty.

The second type of lying to ourselves is: excuses.

Excuses are what stop us from taking actions or stop us from going after the things we want. With excuses, we lie to ourselves.

And the third area where people tend to lie to themselves is with happiness.

We all have happiness. Right now at this very moment. But sometimes we lie to ourselves about what makes us happy and what we need to do to make ourselves happy.

Everyone actually knows and sometimes we lie to our selves that we don’t know what would make us happy or that we don’t know what to do to make ourselves happy. You do. You just may not  be willing to go after it.

So get honest with your relationship. Be honest with yourself about where you’re at in life, where your ex is at in life, what you think about your relationship and what your ex thinks about your relationship. What to say to get my ex back? That will become a part of your past. You’ll know what to say to get your ex back if you are honest with yourself and with your relationship.

One of the most important principles if you’re dealing with a marriage separation is to refocus on yourself.  Somewhere along the way, you lost your center and now it’s time to focus on what brings you joy.  

I think one of the big issues is people expect to get too much form their marriages in terms of their own personal happiness. With a marriage separation you are badly affected most of the time.  This is understandable.  No one is happy about big life changes.  However, remember, don’t get swept up in them.

They have a lot of sources in the rest of their life for personal happiness for fulfillment, for meaning, for pleasure and enjoyment. I’d like to help you prevent marriage separation by needing your marriage less.  This is why you have to refocus on yourself.  Write down things that make you happy.  Write down things that bring you joy, and make you unique.

I mean it!  Get out a pad and paper right now and jot down everything. I want you to tell yourself why you are great.  What makes you special?  What makes you unique?  What is it you are looking for?  This allows you to focus on yourself and not on negativity.

The problem is when needed to it’s when it’s your marriage is your only source of all this positive promotions, and if you’re marriage tends to suffer or something is going wrong then you don’t really have a plan B. A lack of Plan B usually precedes a marriage separation.

Do you have a Plan B?

That plan B I speak of are areas outside your relationship and outside you partner that you can get positive emotions, you can get happiness fulfillment, joy excitement, adventure, freedom all that cool stuff.

And second thing is your B plan needs to have is hobbies to actually keep you busy and to offer an outlet and an escape away to get stuff out of this system, maybe it means release tension. Think about a marriage separation as a sign that you need to release tension.

You’ve got have a bit of a plan B and the other benefit for having a really strong plan B in your life is that you’re more unlikely to walk out your relationship. I believe that you can avoid a marriage separation by bringing in loads of positive energy into your relationship from the rest of your life.

Sometimes the less you need all these things from your relationship the more you’re going to get from your relationship, sometimes it can work a little bit in reversing that aspect. Part of a marriage separation is the constant pain.

And the other you want to have with your plan B is a social structure where this involves going out and making new friends or having certain hobbies that are social. Avoid marriage separation by doing this alone or together.

Sometimes when people get married they don’t think about a plan B, they don’t prepare if things could go bad or things could go wrong so if they do get wrong then they screwed because they don’t really have anything to fall back on.

Be sure you have a Plan B to fall back on!

Even if your marriage survives and you stopped your divorce it’s good to have it there as a way of getting more enjoyment into your life and as a bit of safety net if things do go wrong, so your entire life and yourself doesn’t fall apart.

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So your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and you don’t have any idea as to what you should do?  Well, the worst thing you could do is freak out about it.  You do not want to be seen as the crazy girlfriend.

It can be a very, very stressful situation when you really love someone, when you think the relationship has got a long term future and you have your heart set on your partner and then out of nowhere, they break up with you, even worse if they do it by text.  In fact, I think men who break up by using text messaging are not very manly at all.

And then you find out they’re dating someone else, and it happens quickly after you broke up or maybe even they were dating them while you were dating and they didn’t tell you about this other person when you broke up.  This happens a lot.  Don’t think of yourself as stupid if it happens.  A lot can slip under anyone’s nose.

If your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and this is a real shock you’ve got to realize how much this can affect you.

This can be very confronting and very difficult to deal with but I only want to let you to know is that this is actually a very traumatic situation and you’ve got to deal with it in the same way you will deal with other significant emotional trauma.

Once he gets a new girlfriend, you need to back away from him and move on.  You do not want to be the jealous, crazy ex-girlfriend.  If you start screaming and yelling, or acting out of control, it will push him more into your rival’s camp and not yours.  That’s the opposite of what you want.

So what I recommend is to deal with your emotional trauma at the most serious level you can because actually a condition called post-traumatic stress disorder and a lot of times when you’re affected by a break-up, this is what you can actually be suffering from. They call it PTSD.  Yours might be less severe than a soldier’s, but it’s still pretty serious.

This is why it can be so difficult to stop crying and get out of the love and it can affect your motivation, your energy, your happiness, your ability to be positive, that can be very detrimental for your life.

Don’t feel bad though.  It happens to everyone!

It can make you feel bad about yourself, it can make you question lots of things so it’s really important that you look after yourself and your own mental health and you take the best possible action to heal this emotional difficulty straight away.

So if your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and this really affected you to the point where you are feel awful then don’t just ignore this. Get it sorted ASAP.

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I’ve got some tough advice for you if your ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend and this really bothers you…

It’s time to move on.

That’s my advice in a nut shell, and some may think that it’s too harsh, but the reality of the situation is that your ex-girlfriend has moved on with her life and it’s time for you to do the same. If you are already cooking up cockamamie plans to try and win her from her new boyfriend or something along those lines, stop yourself.  Remember, relationships are not competitions and they are not supposed to be the source of acrimony and negativity in our lives.  Relationships are supposed to be wonderful affairs.

I understand you might be jealous deep down inside.  After all, her finding a new boyfriend is essentially her way of saying that she doesn’t need you any more.  What more evidence do you need?  She has moved on with her life, and is probably enjoying herself.  Even if you think that your ex-girlfriend got a boyfriend to make you jealous as part of a silly little game, the last thing you want to do is play into her hands.

What you should do is search on this site for my advice on what to do after a breakup.  It’s so important that we know how to move on past things in life and move forward.  There’s only one direction we live, and when we live in the moment and think about ourselves, we tend to be happier.  The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to focus more on your own happiness.

Usually I recommend that people who are feeling jealous of their ex busy themselves with something else.  You should drop off the radar.  Don’t talk to any of your current friends, don’t be on Facebook, just literally drop off the face of the earth and come back a new you.  Watch people’s reaction when you do!  You’ll love it.

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