Preventing Divorce

If you’re looking for how to stop a divorce, this article may be just what you need.

How to Stop a Divorce  - Useful Advice that Can Help You Save Your Marriage

There are many things you can do to help stop a divorce, and while your personal circumstances may be unique, there are still techniques that apply to many different marriages.  The fact you’re reading this article means that on some level you believe your marriage is worth saving, but you may not know exactly what to do and have thrown your hands up in disgust.  First, calm down.  Many people have gone to the brink of divorce and have come back as stronger couples.  It is by no means easy and it will take time, but the reward of having an even stronger marriage is hard to pass up.  So, let’s talk about how to stop a divorce.

Many people develop problems in their marriage because of outside forces.  Once you have kids, your relationship shifts to focus more on them and less on you.  It’s hard to be romantic when both parents work, come home exhausted, and have to spend most of the day coordinating about child care.  This adds unneeded stress to the situation, and can create tension in a couple.  The way to tackle this is to find an active way of dealing with the situation.  Is there a way one parent can stay home?  How can child care be better divvied up between parents?  When can you set aside intimate time where you aren’t dealing with the kids?  If child rearing is a source of stress, then its best to organize your life in this area.  How else do you stop a divorce?

Financial problems come next right after child care when couples talk about what is straining their marriage.  There’s nothing like fear of not having enough to introduce poisonous stress into a relationship.  If finances are a problem, if you are falling behind on bills or are facing repossession, you might find that budgeting with your spouse gives you more confidence.  Maybe one of you can take a second job or work from home?  Maybe you can move to a less expensive area, or learn to stay within your set budget without going over.  If you have a clear plan on how to get caught up on bills, you’ll spend less time in a state of stress.  This is usually a good way to stop a divorce.  Remember, stress in one area of your life can leak into another.

Have you and your spouse fallen into a rut in the bedroom?  Some couples go for years without sex, and lose all sense of intimacy with one another.  This is a sure fire way to destroy a marriage. Without physical intimacy, it is hard to have trust between partners.  Each spouse doesn’t look at each other as romantic partners, but rather business partners, and the relationship breaks down.  If this is happening then you may need intensive therapy.  You may be carrying baggage from the past into your marriage, sometimes unknowingly, and it is ruining what could otherwise be a nourishing relationship with your spouse. Without a level of basic trust, you’ll find problem solving to be next to impossible.

These are some of the major things that plague couples, but there could be a number of things unique to your situation.  If there is a problem with substance abuse, such as alcohol or illicit drugs, then you’ll need to seek professional help immediately.  Do not be afraid to reach out, because problems dealing with substance abuse can compound and you could be landing in divorce court sooner than expected.

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If you’re thinking about divorce, or your spouse wants to divorce you, there is something you can do to avoid it.

Divorce is an emotionally painful, hurtful time in anyone’s life.  Painful feelings develop between you and your partner, and the situation can make you feel trapped.  If you want to try and save your marriage, there are several things you can do to avoid a divorce.  First off, if your spouse is abusing alcohol or drugs, or physically harms you, then you immediately need to extricate yourself from the situation and call the police.  You are in danger.  Do not tell them where you are going, and most certainly do not tell family members or friends, as your spouse may try and track you down and ask your friends and family for your whereabouts.  I repeat, you are in danger and you need to get to safety, especially if you have children.

Can a divorce be stopped?

One of the best ways to avoid a divorce is to reflect on why you or your partner want to have one.  Maybe there has been infidelity, and you don’t feel you can trust someone who has cheated on you once.  Maybe you feel that all you do is argue, and that the most minor thing will explode into an all-out verbal brawl.  The tension in the house is high, and you feel that you need to take a break.  The best thing to do in these cases is to sit and talk with your partner about your problems in a calm manner.  The biggest factors in a strained marriage can be financial problems, stress from work coming home, and big life changes.

It’s important to quickly identify where the strains in your marriage are coming from and find active solutions.

If your finances are straining your relationship, you might need to reorder your life and try to live with smaller means or try to cooperate with your spouse in bringing in more money.  Getting behind on bills or a mortgage is a recipe for marital strife.  It’s easy to blame your spouse for not making enough money and not living the life you thought you would be.  In those cases, talk to your spouse about a career change or new ways to get more money.  Maybe your spouse isn’t happy with his or her job, and don’t appreciate being reminded of that every time they hear a complaint about money.  There’s a lot you can do as a team to fix your finances and it can be a bonding experience.

If the problems in your marriage come from stress in another area of life, like stress from work or family relationships, then it’s best to seek a marriage counselor or a psychologist to work through these issues.  Couples therapy with a trained psychologist is a great way to avoid divorce.

You’ll find that a lot of the tension of in your marriage may dissipate if you simply talk about it in an honest and straightforward manner.  Often your partner may be carrying baggage from a previous relationship, in which case, all that is required is to work these issues out with a professional.  Just remain patient, and keep your goal of avoiding divorce.


If you are thinking about getting a divorce, then divorce mediation is a must.  It can make you think about your marriage in a new light.  

Divorce is a really painful life event.  Of adults surveyed, 56% say they regret having divorced.  It’s really a point of no return.  I know all too well how difficult it is to restart a broken, dead marriage.  Divorce mediation is just the ticket.  You can sit down in a quiet space with a professional, and work through all of your problems.

The first step is to find a really good psychologist.  It’s really the main point of divorce mediation.  You need someone experienced, someone who is accredited, and someone who is sensitive to your needs.  There are a lot of psychologists out there trying to be the next Dr. Phil.  You have no time for them and their sugarcoated, reconstituted theories.  You need a psychologist that will tackle all of the hard issues.

Do not pick the first therapist you find.  Look up their accreditation.  You don’t want one that’s graduated from the University of Aruba.  Next, try and see if they have a professional website that details their theories as a psychologist.  Do not look for one that’s going to promise to stop your divorce in its tracks.  I had a bad experience with a poorly trained psychologist and it almost cost me my marriage.

I was tricked into thinking that therapists had magic wants to fix all of your problems.  A good therapist forces you to do things that are uncomfortable and look at issues you don’t want to.  You are never going to move past the problem without the hard work necessary to root out the negativity that has been building up in your relationship.  If your therapist does not understand this fact, then that is a big sign that he or she is not experienced enough to handle your problems the way they need to be.

When you undertake divorce mediation, remember, it’s about repairing your relationship.  You need to focus on what is best for you.  In some cases, that may mean you and your spouse will split up.  You’ll know what the best course of action is, and what is best for your own future.

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If you’re Catholic and are seriously considering getting a divorce, then this is a truly harrowing period in your life.

The Catholic Church does not allow divorce, as the teachings of the Catholic Church state that once you are married, you and your spouse are one flesh.  The scriptural basis for this is, “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate,” (Mark 10:9).   You can get a civil divorce from the state, but as far as the church is concerned, you and your spouse are bound together for life.  If you are a religious Catholic looking for a way to get divorced, you must first consider whether or not your marriage is worth saving, and if not, then you must seek an annulment.  An annulment is the only Catholic way to separate from your spouse.

Always remember it is best not to make rash decisions.  Deciding whether or not to leave your spouse is an emotional time, and you do not want to do something you might later regret. 

Talk with your priest and people at your church to see if there is a marriage counselor you and your spouse can see.  Since divorce is explicitly against Catholic teaching, most parishes have marriage counselors and experts to help get you through this difficult period without letting the situation deteriorate further.  The Catholic way to stop a divorce would be to remind you and your spouse of your commitments and how your marriage is a blessing from God.  Reaffirming your faith in the teachings of Catholicism with respect to marriage, can be the perfect way to heal.  If you would prefer to keep your personal life out of the church, then there are specialists you can see for a fee that might go a long way towards healing your relationship.  This is very important to do, especially if you have children, because divorce can cleave families apart and leave lasting emotional scars.

In order to divorce your spouse, the Catholic way is to seek an annulment.

An annulment is a serious process where it will be decided whether or not your original marriage was a valid, sacramental marriage.  If your marriage was valid, then there is no way that you can be granted an annulment by your church.  The process for receiving an annulment takes one year, depending on the marriage tribunal in your local diocese.  The tribunal will review your marriage, and if one criterion of sacramental marriage is not met, then the marriage is null and void.  If not, you are still technically married to your spouse and cannot remarry.  Marrying someone else would count as adultery and would be a mortal sin.

For Catholics, there is life after divorce.

If you are divorced you may still be welcomed to Mass and might still be able to receive communion depending on your personal circumstance.  If you have not remarried and are not dating, then you could still be welcome in your church.  Many divorced Catholics fear the stigma that being divorced places on them and feel uncomfortable interacting with other Catholics, but many say that the church is understanding, as there are many valid reasons to divorce someone, such as spousal abuse and substance abuse.