Sometimes you just need to go skinny dipping alone. Every woman needs to have her own space and time alone. It can be difficult, however, to ask your partner for time away. Many men may feel insecure with your request or feel that you no longer “like” them and are headed for divorce or a break up. To avoid this, make sure that you explain WHY you need time alone and reassure them that it has nothing to do with the status of your relationship.

It’s actually been shown that lasting relationships form between couples who spend time together and time away from one another. It’s important and healthy for couples to have their own separate interests as well as shared interests. When talking with your boyfriend, it is necessary and helpful to explain to him that you need time to reflect, to visit with other friends, and time to think alone. Then explain to him that you still want to spend time with him, but you just need some of your own space too.

Most men, when told this, will understand. In fact, they may have been hoping to have a little more time to themselves as well. This can happen in relationships after the initial “honeymoon stage.” Suddenly, you don’t want to spend every waking second with your man, and you’d like to spend some time alone. Talking about this with him is the best way to get what you want without jeopardizing your relationship. Communication, as always, is the key in this particular situation.

I get a lot of questions about men who are, “drawn to another girl.” By that, I mean a girl who isn’t the one they are currently having a relationship with. These men contact me and ask me for advice about whether or not they should pursue this girl or stay in their current relationship. It’s quite the dilemma. What to do?

First, it’s important to note that you will always be attracted to other woman. She’ll be attracted to other men. And that’s okay. It isn’t okay to have strong romantic feelings for another person.

When they say that they are drawn to another girl, I always ask the “why” question. WHY?

Is it because you think she’s attractive and that’s it – or do you feel like you might want a relationship with her? If you consider leaving your current girlfriend, then you need to consider how much that relationship means to you. For this other girl, you’re thinking of leaving. That says more about your current relationship than it does about how you feel for this random girl.

Say she isn’t random? Say you’ve known her for a while and you’re falling more and more for her. Then it’s a bit different. You may feel that she could be “the one” even. If you feel that you are compatible and you feel strongly about her, then maybe you should go for it. If she’s all that you can think about, then regardless of whether or not you go for this girl, you need to let your current girlfriend go. It isn’t fair or just to stay in a relationship with someone that you are not fully committed to. If it’s an official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, then there needs to be commitment. If you can only think of another, you won’t be committed.

Think of your current relationship and it’s value to you. Think of this other girl and her value to you. Think of your future. Think of the present moment. No matter your decision – make sure that you’ve thought it through carefully.

In “500 Days of Summer,” we see a man meet a woman. And he falls. Madly in love.

You may not have had this exact experience in your life, but I’m guessing that everyone has experienced nerves with certain women. They just steal your heart. You’d love to ask them out, but you start to panic. You can barely say anything. You’re in awe. A bit dumbfounded.

How do you avoid that?

The first thing to remember is that she isn’t any more special than you are. She’s a person. So are you. It’s great to be chivalrous and behave like a gentlemen. However, you don’t need to treat her like a queen. It only makes her think that you must think she’s out of your league. No need for that.

Next, try not to worry. Don’t focus on all of the things that you should be doing: smiling, having confidence, charming, saying just the right thing, etc. Let all of that go. Don’t force expectations upon yourself. Just be yourself! In the end, you want to be with a girl who likes you for who you are. So show her who you are. I’ve often noticed that I strike up the best rapport with girls I’m not interested in, just because I’m not so nervous. I always think – if only I could do this with someone I wanted to date. I can and you can. Just let it happen naturally.

Breathe. This is an obvious one and may seem kind of silly, but it’s a big help. If you just relax and take deep breaths, your body will actually send calming signals to your brain. This will help you stay clear and keep your nerves from becoming overwhelming.

Lastly, focus on her. Ask her questions about herself and be genuinely interested. Then you won’t have as much time to concentrate on your nerves. Instead, you’ll be concentrating on her!

We spend so much time talking about relationships that have gone awry or ended badly. So I thought, why not talk about some relationships that go right? What is it about two people that make it work?

It works when two people are compatible and are attracted to one another. This is the first step. You need to be with someone who has a few of the same interests that you do. You need someone who has compatible morals and values. You need to be attracted at some level. Without these qualities, it’s nearly impossible to make a relationship work. It’s more than likely setting yourself up for failure.

It works when two people connect on a deeply emotional level. We hear so much about the power of communication in relationships. Why is that? It’s because communicating is a strong way to share your fears, sadness and worry with someone. It’s important to share these things with family members or friends. Everyone needs a support network. If you want your boyfriend/girlfriend to become an important part of your life, then you need to let them become someone who you share with. I wouldn’t trust your date right away, but at some point, you must. They must trust you as well. Developing emotional intimacy is a crucial part of relationships that go right.

Lastly, it works when two people understand the concept of space. If your whole life is wrapped up in your significant other’s arms, your chances of success are much lower. You’ll burn out. You both need to have some things that are individual things. Some friendships or social events that are separate. Avoid becoming overly dependent. Yes, you should depend on each other. However, those people who give up their outside activities and do not spend time away, will burn out. Imagine being stuck with someone, and only that someone, for hours and hours every week. Never seeing anyone else. Never getting out. It can exhaust people and that’s when they become lazy in their personal relationships. Recognize that you both have some interests that are not shared and allow one another to continue to passionately explore them separately.

In the end, it’s a mix of all of these things: being compatible, attracted to one another, care deeply for another, develop a strong emotional intimacy with one another, and individual space.

Marriage Falling Apart

Every guy has had this happen to him. He has a date with a girl and she tells her girlfriends every detail. They tell other girls and the vicious cycle continues until all of her friends know every detail of your date. How do you stop this? Should you stop it?

The problem with all of the “girl talk” is that it can lead your date to question things about your relationship. One of girlfriends might say, “Well, when Brian did that with me, he was really just looking for a way to end the relationship.” Then your girl begins to think that you must want to end your relationship too. Instead you’re feeling more and more serious about her! So you can see where these talk sessions go awry.

As a guy, know first and foremost that you can’t stop it. Forbidding her to talk to her friends is controlling. You can ask her to keep certain things private and personal. Most likely, she isn’t sharing any deep emotional truths that the two of you are sharing with one another. To make sure, just preface those by saying that you need it to stay between the two of you.

What you can do, and should do, is keep the lines of communication open. If your girl feels that you are honest and always willing to answer a question, then she’ll be more likely to come to you with her suspicions that she’s developed from talking with her friends. If she says to you, “Lisa said that when Brian did this with her, he was really just looking for a way to end the relationship. Is that what you’re doing? Do you want out?” Then, you have the opportunity to say, “No. Honey, I thought it was just a sweet gesture and I think our relationship is in a really good place. I really like you and I want to keep dating you.” Problem solved.

Remember, you must be open with communication and honest from the beginning. If you haven’t been, she won’t believe that she can trust you. So no matter what you say, the doubts will still be there.

Rarely do we come across people who proclaim that they, “just don’t really care for music.” Rather, we find people who obsess over the latest songs and will adamantly defend their genre of choice. Scientists are beginning to study the connection between music and the brain more now than ever before. Science has begun to show us that music can actually alter brain waves and can greatly enhance mood. So what does this have to do with dating? I’m glad you asked. Today, I’d like to talk with you about the power of song in romance.

If you’re looking for a lasting relationship that may lead to a future filled with love, then you shouldn’t ignore the power of song in romance.  A great gift for a newer girlfriend can be a mix CD with some of your favorite songs. Create a playlist for her on her Ipod. Take her to a concert. These are all just basic ideas surrounding the use of song. If used properly, you can help her fall in love with you by awakening her true passions and emotions through song.

I’m sure you’ve heard of couples who have a “song.” What does that mean? It means that there is one particular song that speaks to the heart of their relationship and every time they hear it, they think of their relationship with one another. It isn’t a good idea to try to establish a “song” for your relationship until it’s become more serious. It’s also important that the song be special to both of you.

The advice from this research is that it’s best to use song when you can. If you’re driving with your date, you can set the mood with some music. First kiss? More magical if you can manage to play the right music in the background. Think of the movies. Instrumentals and vocals both have the power to change or enhance mood. Let her feel more into you by playing mood-setting music. Will music alone get her to fall in love with you? No. Of course not. However, it can be a powerful way to set the mood for the evening or to make a special moment even more special.

Figuring out whether or not you’re ready to live together is a big step in any relationship…are you ready?

There comes a time in a strong, committed relationship when the idea of moving in together surfaces. People often have differing opinions about the benefits of living together or staying apart. It’s important to realize that the decision ultimately rests with you.

Evaluate your feelings. Do you love this person? If you haven’t reached an “I love you” moment and sincerely meant it, then you probably aren’t ready to live together. Choosing to share rent or purchase a home together is a decision that hopefully means you’ll be together forever. If you aren’t sure about the longevity of your relationship don’t move in together. Wait until you feel more confident about the relationship. It would suck to realize a month later that it isn’t going to work AFTER you’ve already signed a lease.

Religious Views. Many religions ask that couples wait until after marriage to move in together. If you are not a member of a particular religious denomination or are a member but do not agree with this view, then that’s okay. Ignore it. However, if it does matter to you, don’t let your date force you into cohabitation. Moving in together or living apart is not a sign of the strength of your relationship. Remember that.

Don’t rush.  There’s no reason to just rush in with each other.  Living together is difficult from a purely logistics perspective.  Who pays the rent?  What about all of the utilities?  What happens if you break up?  Who’ll be holding the bag for the rent, the utilities, the bill for all the rented furniture?  Think about these things before you move in.  I cannot tell you what a hassle it is to worry about money when you’re breaking up with someone.

Ultimately, it’s a decision that should feel right for both of you. Considering your families (do you have children separately?), finances, and personal feelings about your relationship are important. Only you can make the decision that is right for you. Take some time to think about it and trust yourself. Know that regardless of your decision, you can have a successful and strong lasting relationship. Both moving in or living separately until marriage are valid options.

Because you just finished reading about how to decide to move in together, watch my FREE video presentation while it’s still online. See exactly how to keep your relationship strong through major decisions. Learn about the 4 secret stages of a breakup and you’ll know how to always rewind your relationship when things go wrong. Watch the video NOW to learn the secret…

Relax…and make the first kiss an enjoyable and memorable experience…

The idea of kissing a new person for the first time can be slightly unnerving, especially if you want to leave an impression on them. However, by following these tips, you can make that first date kiss one worthy of a Hollywood movie.

Make sure your lips are properly moisturized. The night before your big date, slather them in products designed to make them soft and supple. If you don’t have any of these products, petroleum jelly or coconut oil can work just as well, so look around your home and see what you can come up with. This step is essential if your lips are in bad condition. Nobody wants to kiss someone with dry, cracked lips – it feels like sandpaper!

Sneak some breath mints, breath spray or minty-flavored gum in your pocket or purse before departing on the date. If you order the spaghetti and garlic bread or tuna casserole at the restaurant, your kiss might be a disaster. Do you really want that special guy or girl remembering your kiss as garlic or tuna-flavored? After you eat, make sure you pop in a couple mints. Offering some to your date would be a kind gesture as well. For that kiss to be a success, both of you need to have fresh breath.

When the big moment comes, lean in halfway and let your date fill the gap. Nothing is more embarrassing than planting one on your date, only to realize that they do not want to kiss you back. To save this mortification, don’t go the full distance. If your date likes you, they will have no problem meeting you halfway. Remember to keep the kiss short and sweet. You want to leave some mystery behind and make your date desire more.

The Kiss: First Date Edition – if followed properly – will help to make that kiss an unforgettable success.

And once you become a pro at the first date kiss, things will almost certainly progress into a relationship. After awhile though, things change. Know how to always have the excitement like it was your first date kiss? Watch my FREE video presentation NOW to find out…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

Physical appearance is everything.  I know, many of you gnash your teeth and exclaim that the world is too superficial and based on how things look and not on substance.  Well, I’m sorry, but that’s the simple truth.  The world is filled with substance and meaning, however, it’s just that most people won’t recognize it if it isn’t packaged right. No one will know how beautiful and wonderful of a person you are if you don’t look the part.

How is a girl supposed to want you if you don’t look like you respect yourself?  The way you present yourself to the world lets other people know what ‘s going on on the inside.  Do you half high self-esteem?  Are you socially adept and know about what fashion are popular?  Your wardrobe says everything about you.  So, how can you get noticed?

One of the best things you can do is to just open up a fashion magazine and see what people are wearing.  I know, this sounds like being a teenage girl, flipping through magazines to look at all the movie stars, but believe me, when you’re trying to upgrade your physical appearance, you need to know what the fashionable people are wearing.  Try to hit a clothing store and see what they’re advertising if you otherwise don’t have any clue.

Now that you look great in your new duds, think about improving your body.  Having a good physique can go a long way in attracting a quality mate who will bring a lot of happiness into your existence.  If you’re flabby around the midsection, you may need to look into going on a diet and hitting the gym more than you do.  P90X is a great fitness regimen and it can whip you into shape.  Being healthy is not just about looking good, but also about extending your life and helping you feel great.

I know we’re told that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, and believe me it does.  This is the reason why I talk about the mental dimension of dating as often as I can, but realize that as far as the opposite sex is considered, all good things come in sexy looking packages, and if you take the time to cater to your appearance, you could be one sexy looking package.

Now that you’ve thought about the importance of physical appearance, check out my FREE video presentation to help you keep your relationships legit. Avoid getting yourself into rough situations. Click here NOW to learn the secret behind every happy, successful relationship.

We get a lot of questions about online dating settings. What should my online dating settings be? How do I know if I’ve chosen good online dating settings?

Never fear. Ryan’s here.

If you’re looking at setting your online dating settings, you want to remember this simple tip: be flexible.  Different dating sites have many different settings that will change how you appear to a prospective mate.

Flexibility is key to the online dating world. Adjusting your settings can make all of the difference in your search results. It can let others find you and you find others. If you’re actually interested in meeting someone and this isn’t just a browsing game for you, then you need to have the most compatible settings.

I’m sure you’d like to meet someone who lives near by. Perhaps you’ve limited your distance settings to 30 miles or so. Errr, wrong. You shouldn’t be doing this. What if the man or woman of your dreams lives 40 miles or 50 miles away? Would you dismiss them merely because you might have to drive an extra 10, 20, 40 minutes to see them?

What about hair color, religion, or any of the other dozen or so different characteristics you’re asked?  What if you like black haired girls, but only for certain looks, and the love of your dreams actually has blonde hair?  How do you balance all of the different things you like in a person, with all of the caveats and “but thens” that are only natural when it comes to dating?

Or what if you’ve decided that you only want partners who are “Methodists.” Okay, I understand that your religion is important to you and you’d like a partner who also resides within your denomination. However, what if someone is Methodist but they didn’t see that option and they chose “spiritual” instead? Or “other”? You should include those settings in your search results and online dating settings so that you don’t miss out on someone who may have just labeled their religious denomination more generally.

Make sure that you try to get middle numbers or middle scores on issues that aren’t deal breakers to you. If you’d really like someone who doesn’t drink often, try using that option but maybe just excluding “drinks all the time” instead of excluding “drinks socially” or “drinks often.” The problem with these labels is that they are often taken as absolute but we all have different perceptions. It’s important that you not allow these perceptions to cloud your judgement of someone. Drinking socially could mean 1-4 times a week or 1-2 times a week, even 0-1 times a week. Don’t consider these setting as absolute and unchanging. Remember that everyone has different perspectives of these settings.

Also don’t feel you have to be absolutely honest in everything you put on your settings.  Some things should be a mystery to any prospective date.  Only pick “must haves,” or things that you really could never picture yourself living without.

Be flexible with your online dating settings and you’ll be much happier with your results!

Now that you’ve considered the best settings for a date, check out my FREE video presentation that shows you how to rewind a relationship so your next dates go smoothly. Avoid stressful situations for the rest of your life. Click here NOW to learn the secret behind every happy, successful relationship.