Dealing with a sexless marriage, when your husband has a low sex drive, is difficult. It may feel that you managed to get the only man not interested in sex.
Usually if you’re in a situation where your husband doesn’t want to have sex with you, when you’re in a sexless marriage, you feel like there are only four options:
stay and be permanently unhappy and frustrated
have an affair or cheat and
get a divorce
the fourth option often isn’t talked about enough in my opinion.
That fourth option is the real option and this is to find the solution to the problem. Having a sexless marriage is painful but it doesn’t have to last. You can have a happy, balanced sex-filled relationship.
The first thing you need to do is identify the cause.
For example, if your partner had some sort of psychological issue then this needs to be addressed. Your husband may not even know that this is affecting him. That’s where a good sex therapist can come in. They can help you find the causes that you or your husband may miss.
Next, you have to get him to cooperate. It’s about getting him to do it and getting him to take a risk. He needs to put himself out there. Part of fixing a sexless marriage is taking ACTION.
Men in particular are really bad at this; they’ll often refuse to go to counseling. The biggest challenge with fixing a sexless marriage is getting the man to quit playing tough and admit his fears.
They’ll kick and scream before they do it but they need to. You have to let him know how important this is to you. If he truly loves you, he’ll want to do everything that he can to help the situation and make you happy.
A sexless marriage will only be remedied of he is committed.
So flex your muscles a little bit and show him you’re serious, that you’re not screwing around, that you’re not someone to be played and that you want to fix this immediately.
See men sometimes don’t respond until they get a real wake-up call.
Women often play too nicely, too gently and they are not tough enough or hard enough.
So what I recommend is: show your tough side, be a little ruthless and put a lot of pressure on him to make a difference. Help him to take action and be supportive throughout the process.