I want to stop my divorce. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Just saying it won’t work though, you’ve got to do a lot of work to save your marriage…
There are very few magic salves to fix a marriage. There are some guidelines though. Think about the following when you’re considering what to do next. My advice comes from talking with people about their marital problems. The same problems come up more often than you might think.
1. Admit when you’re wrong.
Your partner wants to know when you’ve messed up and they want you to acknowledge it. I know that your partner has made mistakes and they need to acknowledge those as well. Still, if you refuse to own up to your mistakes, you will send the relationship spiraling into disaster and divorce. It is a sign a maturity to admit when you’re wrong and your partner will appreciate that. Swallow your ego, and just do it!
2. Compromise. Compromise. Compromise.
This is something that we hear all the time but we ignore. It’s important to remember that compromising is necessary. It’s the only way that both of you can be happy. And marriage is all about compromise. If you really want to know how to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you must learn when to bend and when to be firm. If your spouse is making demands of you and feels that you are not listening, stop for a second, maybe they’re right.
In a successful marriage, both partners listen to one another. They care about one another and they respect one another, but most importantly, they LISTEN. If you aren’t listening to your partner, then it’s no surprise that divorce is on the table. Start listening to what your partner wants and to what their needs are. Then they can listen to you. Together you can address the real problems by first knowing what they are and then by understanding how you both feel about them.
With these three tips actively in place, you’ll notice a dramatic difference in your relationship. I know, compromising and listening sound like advice from a self help book. But, with all of the couples I’ve helped over the years who were begging me for advice on how to stop their divorce and save their marriage, it is all easily applicable to real life. If you still need help, consider going to couples therapy. Don’t give up on your marriage!
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