Surviving Heartbreak

Marriage Process

At some point in your life, if you haven’t been there already, someone is going to break your heart: a friend, a family member, a date. This article deals with that of the latter. When your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you…and you didn’t want to end things…what do you do? How do you make sense of what life has handed you and find solace once again?

You must return to you after a bad breakup. What does that mean? Return to you? When your feelings are overwhelming you, it’s time to find peace within yourself. You need to find strength within and look inside to find healing. It’s time to let go.

Think about what you like to do and try to participate in activities that help you find your true self. Make this about you. It’s okay. You’re on your own again. Single. Keep your friends and family close for support, but embark on your own solo journey.

Some Ideas: Mediation. Walks in Nature. Explore the Ocean. Explore the Woods. Explore the Mountains. Explore the farmlands. Yoga. Run. Biking. Art. Sports. Academia. Learn something new. Try something new. Go somewhere new.

Think of this as a way to go back to who you are. To find yourself again. No matter how long you’ve been a couple, you’ve been thinking in “we” instead of “I.” Give yourself a chance to go back to the “I” and work out who and where you want to be in your life.

When breakups occur, it can be hard to look beyond it. Particularly if you were madly in love or didn’t want the relationship to end. Sometimes the relationship was long-term, lasting for years, and now it’s hard to know what to do with yourself. I’d ask you to embrace this idea: freedom at the end of a breakup.

You’ve probably heard this before, but I want you to truly consider it.

Alexander Graham Bell is quotes as saying, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.” This applies to dating as much as it applies to life. Don’t spend all of your time looking at what once was. Try to see this breakup as a new chance at life. It’s a brand new start.

This feeling can be thrilling if you let it be. Go out and do something new that you’ve always wanted to do, but held back from before. Let your time be now. Don’t hang back in the past. Don’t focus on the future. Try to live in the NOW. Let the present moment overwhelm you with all of its gifts. You’re now free, whether or not you want to be. Try to make the most of it.

The finger wag means here comes the nag!

To get over ex-girlfriend is learn to how to deal with change. Change is inevitable in this situation.

What’s going to help you most of all if you want to get over your ex-girlfriend is dealing with change.  Life is all about changing circumstances.  Sometimes things go our way, and sometimes they don’t.  If you can learn to deal with this simple, yet difficult aspect of life, you can know exactly how to get over an ex-girlfriend.

Dealing with change can be really hard when we were in a serious relationship and we thought that things would last forever.  Often they don’t though.  One day you can be with your mate of a lifetime, and then the next, you’re on your own.

Learning to accept that life has ups and downs is the key to success in getting over an ex-girlfriend.  

There are good ways to deal with change, and there are poor ways to deal with change.  Knowing the good ways to deal with change will make the breakup process go smoother and leave you a better person, which is our goal.

Change is a normal part of life.  Accept it and move on.

Here are three things that will help you to deal with change.

First, realize that good and bad events are going to happen in our life.  However, they are negative or positive based on how we choose to react.  Sometimes a negative event is actually positive, we just didn’t see it at the time.  When we are singlemindedly focused on getting over an ex-girlfriend, this simple fact is easy to overlook.

For instance, I knew a guy who was head over heals for this girl.  They dated for six months and were even thinking of buying a house together and living happily ever after.  Sounds perfect, doesn’t it?  Well, they broke up and he felt that his life was indeed over and that he’d never find anyone again.  3 years later, I caught up with his old girlfriend and found that she was the type to stay with men for a few months at a time, take their money, and cheat on them.

Their breaking up was actually a good thing!  Who wants to be around someone like that?

The second thing is to get some help.

Sometimes dealing with change can be very stressful and very traumatic.  One of the worst things you can do at this point in time is to suppress your emotions . Therapy can seriously help you to get over ex-girlfriend. Just talking about this with someone can really help.

This method is effective.  You need a support network.  No one person is an island onto themselves.

The third thing that you can do to help you deal with getting over an ex-girlfriend, is a change in your lifestyle.  Embrace what has happened.  Don’t fight it!

think of all of that new opportunities that lie in front of you, and all the new and exciting things you might be able to do with your new found freedom. To be positive in this situation is to fully get over ex-girlfriend.

Re framing is being a very positive experience and look at how you can make the most of this.

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Do you wish things could return to the way they were?  Are you thinking about getting your ex back, but just don’t know what to do?  Here’s some food for thought.  

The first thing you need to think about when deciding on getting your ex back is to really think about if that is what you really want.  Seriously, I know it can feel like you desperately want life to return to the way things were.  Everyone feels like that after a breakup or during a massive life change, but there’s no reason for you to make hasty decisions.  You have to take some time to explore your feelings.

Are you just lonely?  Have you not found someone else?  A lot of times we want to get our ex back because our life never moved on from when we broke up.  We never sought new experiences or tried to reinvent ourselves.  Because, if you think about, trying to get back with your ex is saying that you currently don’t have any prospects on the horizon.

Am I a loser for wanting to get back with your ex?

Not necessarily, but if you are trying to get with your ex just because you haven’t moved on with your life, you may want to rethink the entire enterprise.  You see, if you try to get your ex back with a mindset of desperation, then you’re going to have a difficult time.  What’s worse, even if you get back with your ex they may try to manipulate you.  I wouldn’t want your ex to play with your emotions for their own personal gain.

So, if you want your ex back, and you’re only doing it because you’re desperately trying to live in the past, my advice is to forget about the whole thing.  It will not end well.  You cannot go back into the past you have to look forward towards the future.  There’s no other choice.  If you are actually regretful about how you broke up and think that you could have an honestly healthy relationship with your ex, then we have something to discuss.

How do I restart our relationship?

Good question.  First, you have to hit the reset button.  You two have a history together that cannot be erased, but it cannot play a huge factor in how you attract your ex back to you.  You do not want all of the old problems to resurface.  You really want to start off as if you are two brand new people.  This is why you need to take some time to get to know yourself and reinvent yourself.  Start wearing new clothes, going to new spots, and trying new things.  Expand yourself.  Do things that would otherwise embarrass you.

After you start working on the new you, approach your ex in a way where there are no expectations . Do not lay it on too think that you want them to get back with you. In fact, act totally ambivalent and make it look like you would be completely happy whether or not you ever got back together again.  You’ll see their behavior change instantly.

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he dumped me
Love flourishes even in stormy weather

If you are having difficulty to get over a bad relationship experience then I’ve got some good news for you.

Bad relationships happen all the time, and if you have the right attitude, you can get over them quickly.  

I want to talk about the importance of when you want to get over a bad relationship to try an aspect of your life that provides a healthy escape.  You cannot focus on the same thing over and over and over again.  You have to be able to get your mind off your troubles with healthy activities like running and jogging.

We all know what unhealthy escapes are like so there are drugs and alcohol and risky behavior.

Find a hobby that captures your attention and makes you feel like life is new again. To get over a bad relationship is about having something more interesting to think about than your previous relationship.

Maybe do something like dancing or yoga or certain type of fitness classes. By moving your body you can start getting over these bad experiences. It is said that emotional trauma and bad memories are stored in the muscles.

Make sure you do something new, something different, something that you haven’t done before.

And this allows you to not only relax but also to escape from some of the things you’re experiencing.

It gives you an opportunity to let stuff out, maybe you want to take up martial arts, if you’ve had a particularly bad relationships so you can punch some of those feelings out or maybe you want to book around the world holiday or get into photography.

I highly recommend looking to start a new passion and new interest, or a new hobby. You’ll be getting over that bad experience and be able to get over a bad relationship in no time at all.

Rebuild your self-esteem!  A bad relationship happens to anyone!

It’s also a great idea to fill up your time because sometimes when you end a relationship, you end up having a lot more free time than you have before because you don’t have that person to fill it up. Part of getting over a relationship is dealing with the vacuum it creates in your life.

So it can be good to fill that space with some healthy activities that do make you feel good. For me if my biggest goal was getting over a bad experience I’d do Bikram Yoga every day until it was fixed. You can sweat out the problems.

That can really help you to get over a bad relationship.

What you want to avoid more than anything this point in time is spending too much time on your own just thinking, thinking about your relationship, thinking about the programs and engaging in all sorts of negative experiences.

You kind of want to after pretty short period of time, after maybe a week or two after break-up, unless you’re getting out of the house, you’re doing self-detective and you’re doing something that will make you feel good. Part of getting over is be smart about avoiding what makes you feel bad.

You don’t want to be sitting around the house for amount of period, you’re feeling sorry for yourself and playing the victim.

It’s time to take charge of your life, start to do some things that make you feel good and start to get into some new interests and some new hobbies. Start getting over what happened by living your life again.

It’s a really good way of rejuvenating yourself and healing to get over a bad relationship.

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Needing to get over a relationship because your life is not moving forward?

The best way to get over a failed relationship is to be totally honest with yourself.  The worst thing you can do is to imagine how things “could have been” or what “might have happened.”  The relationship failed, and that’s all there is to it.  Maybe it failed because your partner wasn’t faithful, maybe your personalities weren’t really aligned, or maybe you both got bored with each other.  There are plenty of reasons why relationships fail.

Wondering how to move on from a failed relationship?

The first thing to do is give your old relationship the funeral it deserves.  This goes for a lot of things in life outside of relationships.  You have to move past the hurt feelings and the disappointment of a failed relationship.  The better your relationship was, the worse this process may be.  You miss the “good old days” and spend most of your time sulking.

The best way to get over this is to put your mind on something else.  You are not a robot, so you can’t turn your feelings off and on like a faucet.  What you can do, is introduce yourself to activities that help you feel good and get your mind off the relationship.  Volunteering is one of the best ways of doing this.  Go to a soup kitchen and give your time.  You’ll get the reward of doing something good for others.

If the pain of your failed relationship is overpowering…

If you feel overpowered by your circumstances and don’t know where to turn, then now might be the time to learn about meditation.  You cannot stop strong emotions, but what you can do is learn how to control them.  Meditation is the act of bringing your mind and thoughts under control.  This might seem weird and new age, but it worked for me and it can work for you.

Find a quiet spot, undisturbed and away from any cluttered areas in your house.  Get into a comfortable position.  For beginners, you can lie down while doing meditation, if you feel that sitting upright is too uncomfortable.  Then, concentrate on your breathing.  Think of nothing else.  If a stray thought wanders into your mind, simply objectively throw it away and concentrate on your breathing.

Knowing how to get over a failed relationship is knowing how to master yourself.  It’s knowing how to remove pain and fear from your life.  It’s a hard road, no doubt, but it can be done and I have full faith in you that you can do it.

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One of the most important things you can do if you want to mend a broken heart, get over a bad break up, is to identify why this is hitting you so hard and move on.

Having a broken heart is part of the game of romance.  You’re not going to magically fall in love with the first person you meet, although, it has been known to happen.  Sometimes we think so much of our relationships and place lofty ambitions on them, only to have reality set in.  Here are some tips to mend your broken heart.


It’s all right to feel sad and it’s all right to be slightly depressed.  It’s not alright to crash land and never recover.  Everyone feels sad.  In fact, if something bad happened, and you didn’t feel sad, well, there might be something wrong with you!  Part of the process of letting go of past regrets and hurts is to grieve.

Grieving allows us to say, “It’s over with.  There’s no going back.”  It allows us to give our past the funeral it deserves.  If we didn’t grieve, then there is no way we could move forward into the future.  So what if your relationship didn’t work out?  That doesn’t mean much.  In fact, it really could be a blessing in disguise.

Renew yourself

Depending on how painful your broken heart is, the best way to mend it is to start filling yourself up with positive energy, which you can gain from simply doing things you enjoy.  Go rafting or explore the great outdoors.  Now’s the time to do things you do not normally do.  I remember when I was going through a bad case of heart ache, the way I mended my broken heart was to go hiking with some friends through the mountains.

Renewing yourself means to value yourself, to tell yourself that you are important enough to take time out of your schedule and treasure.  That’s how you tell yourself that the pain you are experiencing right now is just temporary, and that you are capable of feeling great again.

Forgive and Forget

Maybe the girl you liked didn’t like you back.  Maybe your relationship fell apart because one of you moved.  Maybe…well who cares!  Once you reach this stage, you don’t have to care about why you had a broken heart, you can just sit there and be confident that you mended it!

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One of the most important principles if you’re dealing with a marriage separation is to refocus on yourself.  Somewhere along the way, you lost your center and now it’s time to focus on what brings you joy.  

I think one of the big issues is people expect to get too much form their marriages in terms of their own personal happiness. With a marriage separation you are badly affected most of the time.  This is understandable.  No one is happy about big life changes.  However, remember, don’t get swept up in them.

They have a lot of sources in the rest of their life for personal happiness for fulfillment, for meaning, for pleasure and enjoyment. I’d like to help you prevent marriage separation by needing your marriage less.  This is why you have to refocus on yourself.  Write down things that make you happy.  Write down things that bring you joy, and make you unique.

I mean it!  Get out a pad and paper right now and jot down everything. I want you to tell yourself why you are great.  What makes you special?  What makes you unique?  What is it you are looking for?  This allows you to focus on yourself and not on negativity.

The problem is when needed to it’s when it’s your marriage is your only source of all this positive promotions, and if you’re marriage tends to suffer or something is going wrong then you don’t really have a plan B. A lack of Plan B usually precedes a marriage separation.

Do you have a Plan B?

That plan B I speak of are areas outside your relationship and outside you partner that you can get positive emotions, you can get happiness fulfillment, joy excitement, adventure, freedom all that cool stuff.

And second thing is your B plan needs to have is hobbies to actually keep you busy and to offer an outlet and an escape away to get stuff out of this system, maybe it means release tension. Think about a marriage separation as a sign that you need to release tension.

You’ve got have a bit of a plan B and the other benefit for having a really strong plan B in your life is that you’re more unlikely to walk out your relationship. I believe that you can avoid a marriage separation by bringing in loads of positive energy into your relationship from the rest of your life.

Sometimes the less you need all these things from your relationship the more you’re going to get from your relationship, sometimes it can work a little bit in reversing that aspect. Part of a marriage separation is the constant pain.

And the other you want to have with your plan B is a social structure where this involves going out and making new friends or having certain hobbies that are social. Avoid marriage separation by doing this alone or together.

Sometimes when people get married they don’t think about a plan B, they don’t prepare if things could go bad or things could go wrong so if they do get wrong then they screwed because they don’t really have anything to fall back on.

Be sure you have a Plan B to fall back on!

Even if your marriage survives and you stopped your divorce it’s good to have it there as a way of getting more enjoyment into your life and as a bit of safety net if things do go wrong, so your entire life and yourself doesn’t fall apart.

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One thing about marriage affairs is that they unleash a massive amount of hurt.Marriage affairs - How to handle them

Affairs are one of the most difficult road blocks to negotiate in a marriage. Marriage affairs cause massive damage to all involved.

They can cause a massive amount of heart break, suffering, pain and even devastation. The pain of marriage affairs is the heartbreak.

It’s one of the most intense experiences you can ever have. Being the victim of marriage affairs can be destroying.

It can leave you rolling around on the floor in serious despair. That’s the problem with marriage affairs – the collateral damage.

So what do you do about it, if you’ve been the one who’s having affair or you’re the one who’s been the victim of your partner having an affair, what’s the strategy?

What can you do?

Well first of all relationships and marriages can survive affairs. Many marriage affairs are the start of positive change in relationships.

For partners who leave their marriage for an affair, those relationships have a 75% divorce rates.

So it’s not usually a successful idea to actually stay with the person you had an affair with because they tend to be fairly bad relationships that have a lot of the same problems of marriage but have an even high rate of failure.

So what you need to do if you’ve experienced an affairs, first of all seek help. Usually marriage affairs cannot be fixed without professional help.

This is a very complex problem, it’s involving a lot of trauma and difficulty, there are a lot of trust issues, there are a lot of problems that this creates and you need to really get as much help as possible. Many marriage affairs are caused by deep issues.

There’s just such a wide variety of things that can cause an affair and there’s just an important need to make sure that you do your best to minimize the damage from them because affairs can make people angry literally for decades after that divorce happens. Sometimes marriage affairs are signs of deep problems.

So it’s important to figure out why the affair occurred, get the feelings out on the table in an atmosphere of honesty. Move on from marriage affairs by dealing with it in the best possible way.

Now this sort of thing has happened, it can actually open up a lot more channels of honesty in your relationship but both of you can feel a lot more open and trusting as hard as that may seem to be.

The second thing is to identify any patterns.

Think about what patterns caused this to happen and think about changing them.

And number three, use this as an opportunity for positive growth.

Usually in the most difficult, traumatic and painful situations, life’s biggest problems and life’s biggest difficulties, comes its greatest lessons.

I know for me when I got cheated on once, that was one of the biggest growth experiences in my life but for that year when it provided me a lot of emotional turmoil, I thought it was the worst experience of my life but ultimately it led me to do all sorts of positive changes to my attitude and my mindset and it led to a whole new journey of discovery into the world of personal development.

That’s what caused me to start reading books to improve my life.

So do the same, use this as an opportunity for your relationship to enter a whole new face of growth and positivity.

It’s a chance to even rewind everything and start fresh. There is a way to get back those initial sensual feelings and keep them for good, even after difficult times. Watch my FREE video presentation to see how…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…

If you in the process of healing a broken heart what is going to help the most is being clear on how you respond to this situation. You see, healing a broken heart can be done in a way that makes it happen quickly – or slowly.

Healing a broken heart takes time.  They say that “Time heals all wounds.”  This is not exactly true, but it’s a start and I think it’s something we have to remember when we’re in the throes of depression.  We thought we were in love, but then it was all snatched away from us as if we awoke from a dream.  This is life.  I’m not going to sugar coat it and tell you sweet lies of how it will all be better.  What I can tell you is that you can take the opportunity to make yourself stronger.

The first thing you need to do to heal your broken heart is to remember that this is just a phase.  You will heal.  Life will go on, it must.  There is no stopping the days from passing.  This is a part of reality that you know to be true, but the implications of it for healing a broken heart are many fold. Your life isn’t over and there are over 5 billion people on this green Earth, one of whom can add more to your life than the one you thought you had. The odds are in your favor!

Now I know that someone saying the world isn’t over doesn’t make that sick feeling at the bottom of your stomach go away, and to be honest, I nor anyone else can do that for you.  But that’s fine.  That gut wrenching feeling you have right now is essential for you to have.  The reason for that is it helps you focus on what you’re really feeling and what you miss about the relationship.  You see, you’re going to have another relationship in the future.  If you don’t know what you want from a relationship though, you could end up making many of the same mistakes.

What do you miss about being in a relationship?  How did it improve your life?  What are you missing from your own life and how can you make yourself more whole?  These are important questions, and the process of grieving and healing ab broken heart is to remember all of what made you happy and cherish it.  Life can be full of pain, so there is little reason for you to hang on too much to the pain, but to capture all of the joy that you can.

Since you’ve read about the secret steps to healing your broken heart, my FREE video presentation will show you how to make HER want you back. Don’t know the 3 proven steps to fix your relationship? Click here NOW to reverse any damage and she’ll be yours forever.