Surviving Heartbreak

I’m going to help you with getting over your ex-boyfriend once and for all.

I read a quote recently that said “Living well is the best revenge.”  This quote might help us figure out how we can finally get over an ex.

The best way for you to get over your ex and to move forward and to really step into the next chapter of your life.  You should use this difficult situation as positive motivation for you to work on your goals and your dreams and to really move forward in your life.

Struggling with getting over your ex-boyfriend is really a sign that you haven’t moved on and taken the time to give some finality to your relationship.

You have to move on with your life.  This is very difficult for very long relationships. You spent so much time with your boyfriend, and when he’s gone, you miss the security and safety that you felt when you two were together.

You have to put your mind onto something else.  It’s the only way.  So what I encourage you to do is three things, first of all start working on that pet hobby or pet project, that little bit of a dream, maybe that thing you’ve always been wanting to do.  Maybe it’s a new product or a new business or a new idea, this is a time for you to devote yourself to that.

It’s really time to start working on your dreams.  It’s time that you started working on yourself and building yourself up.

The second thing I encourage you to do is check out a book called The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. It has a whole new approach to living life.  The book teaches you how to properly prioritize in your life.

The book is transformational.  It can help you reorganize our life so that you can work harder towards your goals.  Timothy Ferris is a really great teacher.  Take on his ideas and getting over your ex-boyfriend is much easier.

One of the benefits the book will give you, at this point in time, it will develop you to maybe think of a new idea of what successful really means and a new concept of what living an amazing life is. Struggling with getting over your ex-boyfriend can be a sign that your life is boring.  It’s fine to have a grieving period, but if you find yourself obsessing about the old times, you don’t have enough on your plate right now.

Start taking a lot of action towards your goals and dreams and start making things happen. Getting over your ex-boyfriend is a wake-up call to focus on your own life.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself or think that your life has ended now that you and your ex are no longer together.  It’s not the end of the world, and while you’re out in the world, living your dreams and trying new things, you may just end up meeting the new love of your life!

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Getting over heartbreak is pretty tough. However, once you do, you’ll feel like you’re floating on air.

When I think of getting over heartbreak I think about all the people out there who are in the same boat as I am.

This reminds me of when I moved out of my home for the first time.

It’s similar to dealing with a bad breakup.

It’s usually a good test of your independence.  Being out on your home brings new experiences, but also a lot of chances to get hurt.  When I first moved out on my own, I encountered some difficulties and learned to get over them.

When you’re getting over heartbreak, it can sometimes feel as if you’re moving away from one chapter of your life to another.  IT can feel so hard to get to a new phase of your life. Starting with getting over heartbreak usually involves a journey into the unknown.

Your self control and the power over your own mind are the keys to getting over this heartbreak and how you will grow into the future. I know for me the more insecure I was the worse I was at getting over heartbreak.

So I’ve got a friend who just won’t move out of home.

He’s in his late 30s, he lives with his parents.  Unreal huh?

He actually bought a house but he just loves getting his mom to do stuff for him.  He’s a good friend, but this is an aspect of him that is hard to accept. He bought a house but he still won’t move out of home. He’s similar to a guy struggling in getting over heartbreak because he’s not very independent and sure of himself.

He has trouble letting go and moving forward.

But in saying that, living at home with his parents is just depressing. Not just for him, but for those that care about him.

He’s having trouble with dating, it affects his social life and his parents are very conservative so he’s always getting a lot of really safe bits of advice so his life ends up really boring.

It’s the same for your heartbreak, maybe you’re hanging on to what you know and don’t have the courage to try something new, maybe it’s time to let go, move out as far as your feelings will take you and find out that the world is a wide place. If you are bad at risk-taking then you’ll be bad at getting over heartbreak.  It’s the same thing really.

When you’re in the state of being in heartbreak, you’re probably not embracing your life enough.  Get out there and take life by the horns.

You’re probably not enjoying it enough, having enough fun, exploring the world enough. You’ll find it’s easy to get over heartbreak when your life is filled with a lot of meaning.

So I highly recommend as your number one option to really focus on getting out there, getting some of your experiences and growing yourself. Getting over heartbreak is easy when your lifestyle is amazing.

So when you just have to get over your heartbreak, more than likely you’re going to take on some new interests and meet some new people and start to explore the world around you. Start with getting over heartbreak by living life with more passion.  Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone entirely new!

Start to take action and start to experience a hell lot more of life.

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Getting over an ex-girlfriend is not as hard as it might seem at first.  You may not feel that way, but trust me.

One thing that can really help you in getting over an ex-girlfriend is the principle of radical forgiveness.

Let’s go over some of the concepts of radical forgiveness.  

Forgiveness is one of the keys to moving on from anything.  You have to forgive yourself and you have to forgive others, it’s the only way you can be successful In getting over an ex-girlfriend.  Think about it and you’ll realize that the less forgiveness you have the more pain you have.

We have a hard time forgiving others when we’ve experience pain, hurt, and rejection from others in the past.  This is why it can be hard to forgive ourselves and blame ourselves when things go bad.  You don’t have to blame yourself for your relationship ending, and it’ll make it easier for you to forgive your girlfriend.

The first step is to have a management plan for dealing with difficult emotions. Wanting and desiring the process in getting over an ex girlfriend to occur faster teaches you that there are skills you need to learn.

When you need forgiveness, usually you’re experiencing a lot of pain and suffering emotion, which means you probably have a lot of negative thoughts. Getting over an ex-girlfriend involves coming face-to-face with lots of pain.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that developing a strategy to deal with negative emotions is the way to get over them faster.  

It works the same as if you owned a business, Just as you must have a strategy to deal with problem customers, you have got to have a strategy in your life to deal with problem emotions and thinking patterns. In getting over an ex-girlfriend you are learning how to deal with negative emotions and feelings. Us guys are usually pretty bad at that on average, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn.

The best strategy is to simply become aware of them, to allow them to occur and not fight them, because this just makes them stronger and to be able to release them from yourself.

You need to feel these negative emotions.  Once you feel them and experience them fully, it becomes easier to just let them go.

Sometimes meditation can be a powerful way of focusing your inner life.  

The second aspect is to think about what’s positive about this bad situation, to realize that this pain and suffering is there to teach you some things, so think about the other person, think about what you’re having most difficulty with and ask your self, what’s the lesson here?

What am I being taught?

What do I need to learn and what’s the hidden meaning for me personally?

And the next aspect of practicing radical forgiveness is to practice forgiveness often, look for any ways that people bother you where you’re off and look to practice forgiving them daily and feel the pleasure that comes with loosening this emotional load daily. Getting over an ex-girlfriend might be the first application of radical forgiveness in your life but I’m certain there are more.

Forgiveness feels good, it lowers the pressure you put on yourself, it lowers the expectations you might be unfairly putting on yourself, and it makes us feel a lot more relaxed and happy. So learn to practice it daily and you’ll get better with it or better at it all the time. Start getting over an ex girlfriend by practicing radical forgiveness.

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Having trouble getting over an ex-boyfriend?  I know, it’s a big life change and you might be difficult dealing with.  

That tool also provides the key to getting over an ex-boyfriend.

One of the most powerful principles that you need to learn if you are having trouble getting over an ex-boyfriend is the “power of acceptance.”

The power of acceptance is a very key strategy in the process of healing and growth. It’s central to getting over an ex-boyfriend.  You need to learn to forgive yourself and you need to learn to give yourself time to heal.

I want to give you three practical ways how you can use the power of acceptance in your relationship and in with this break-up, around with the difficulties you’re experiencing in regard to your ex. Using this you will be getting over an ex boyfriend in record time.

In this case, you need to apply “radical acceptance” to your problem!

The first aspect of radical acceptance is accepting that life is going to include suffering, it’s going to include pain, it’s going to include difficulties, and life is going to be a real bitch sometimes. You start with getting over an ex-boyfriend by understanding that life is going to be really hard at times.

What is radical acceptance?  It’s the idea that you should love yourself no matter what.  If you love yourself no matter the cost, no matter what happens, then your self-esteem will survive any ups and downs you might have, including breaking up with an ex-boyfriend.

When you can accept this and understand it you become a lot more realistic and bad things happen to you and you learn how to deal with them in a much more positive way. In getting over an ex-boyfriend you learn a lot of things about yourself that’s for certain. Things will get better though.

You become a little bit more a survivor than being a victim.

The second aspect in radical acceptance is about accepting things we can’t change and there are probably things in respect of you and your ex-boyfriends and your previous relationship that you can’t change, no matter how hard you try. In getting over an ex-boyfriend you realize that some things can’t be changed no matter how much they hurt. So it’s usually time to accept them.

And you want to bring a very strong sense of acceptance to these things because the more acceptance you have the more peace you’ll have, the more happiness you’re going to experience and the better you will feel.

So look to bring acceptance to the things that give you pain that you can’t change because having a lack of acceptance about these things is going taught you and the third aspect of radical acceptance is that, this is a practice. In getting over an ex boyfriend you begin to realize acceptance is a process to practice. Like playing the guitar. No-one masters acceptance instantly.

The reason people call things ‘practices’ are because you never really master it, you just get better with practice. In getting over an ex-boyfriend you realize that by practicing this it gets better with time and you need to be patient with the process.

Same with martial arts, no one has ever totally mastered any form of martial arts, even if you’ve been doing it your whole life.

The reason it’s called a practice is because you get better and better in time and the more practice you do, the better you get.

This is same with radical acceptance; I don’t think any of us will ever get the concept of radical acceptance to its complete full application.

What we can do is practice it daily, you can get better at it, you can get more experience with it and when bad things happen to us, we’ll have a very powerful coping strategy to deal with these negative events and that’s called radical acceptance. You also be getting over an ex-boyfriend much quicker than without it.

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The past is the past.  Give the past a funeral.  This is how to get over an ex-boyfriend.

You cannot change the past.  It’s over with.  Internalizing this fact of life is the key to so many different problems we face, including how to get over an ex-boyfriend.  I recently saw an episode of “Political Animals,” where the main character says that if you look toward the past, you cannot go on to the next great moment.

I know, this sounds like empty platitudes.  You need real, actionable advice that you can implement RIGHT away so that you can start feeling better.  A breakup can make the world stop spinning.  It can make life seem gray and almost lifeless.  Here are some things you can do right this second, from this moment on, to get over that ex-boyfriend.

Leave the house right this instant!  Get up, go outside, and start doing things you like doing. You cannot dwell on what’s happened, and you cannot sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.  You’ll enter into a cycle of self doubt and self hatred. The worst thing to do when getting over an ex-boyfriend is to allow yourself to be isolated.  You will begin to think the worst of the situation, and of yourself.

Do not  try to just dive into a new relationship right off the bat.  I This is called “dating someone on the rebound” and it can end poorly.  I have never heard a case of a healthy, long term relationship forming from a rebound relationship.  I know you want to have a boyfriend around.  It made you feel protected, safe, and above all, it made you feel like you were really wanted.  However, looking for a rebound partner is going to significantly lower your standards, and that’s never a good thing.

After you get outside and start doing things that will take your mind off of your ex-boyfriend, you can finally have your funeral.  Take the things that remind you of him, maybe a rose or a letter he wrote, put them in a box, and send them off to see.  Some people burn their old knickknacks, while others take their box of stuff and stash it in the closet to never be seen again.

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