Take a look at a different view of couples therapy…
While couples therapy can be a great way to overcome problems in your marital relationship and work through unhealthy patterns, it can be detrimental to your relationship as well. Couples therapy exposed, will show you that it is the therapist who sometimes sends couples into ruin. Many therapists have not had significant training in couple’s therapy and when you decide to go to one of these therapists, there may be problems in the quality of your therapy. This is because couples therapy is different in terms of structure and values than individual therapy.
This doesn’t mean that therapy itself is dangerous or detrimental to your relationship. It merely means that you need to exercise great caution in choosing your therapist. Check to make sure that your therapist is an accredited member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). This ensures that the proper training and understanding of the couples dynamic is accounted for.
There are two main ways in which you can gauge your couple’s therapist:
1. Is he or she good at structuring your time together?
In couple’s therapy, it’s important to structure your time together. The therapist is in charge of this, but there shouldn’t be constant shouting or cutting off each other’s sentences. A good couples therapist is in control of the session and sets a definite structure to the session.
2. What are their values and do they interfere in the therapy process?
Personal values should never interfere in the therapy process and they usually don’t. However, with couples, theses values about marriage and family may cause problems. Dr. Doherty, PhD and the director of the marriage and family therapy program tat the Unveristy of Minnesota, discusses this problem in his “Bad Couples Therapy” article. He once heard of a client who was considering her children’s needs when looking at a possible divorce and the therapist didn’t think she should do so. The therapist said it was about “her” and that she needed to accept her life and move forward. If your values are not appreciated and your therapist redirects you towards something else, you may need to find a new couples therapist.
Couples therapy is an excellent idea, but it is something that must be pursued carefully. Pay attention to what is happening in therapy sessions and to your results after several sessions. Always be candid with your therapist about what you are looking for and about the current state of your marriage as well as it’s progress. This will ensure that you get the most out of therapy.
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