Fighting with your husband?

Fighting with your husband?

So you’ve just had a fight with husband and you are at a loss at what to do next?Do you fight with your husband?

Communication between men and women is difficult, but not impossible.  Fighting with your husband can be very depressing as a woman.  Most of the time it feels like you’re running up against a brick wall.  Maybe he has bad habits he won’t change, or maybe you feel you don’t spend enough time together.  Maybe you’re having more and more conflict with each passing week with your husband, and you don’t know why?

First off, you do not want to nag.  A lot of conflict in relationships occurs when the husband thinks that the wife is nagging him about things she doesn’t understand.  Try to pinpoint when and where you have your worst arguments.  Is it when he’s at his most stressed?  Husbands carry a lot of responsibility for the safety of their family and the upkeep of their home.  If he feels you are starting in on him when he gets home, it can easily start an argument.

If you’re not fighting about domestic problems then what are you arguing about?  Some married couples argue a lot about money.  It’s easy for a husband to feel insecure if he is not able to bring in enough for his family.  Maybe you’re behind on your payments, like a mortgage or a car, and you wish your husband did more.  This may be a good opportunity to start thinking about the situation from his perspective.  Does he hate his job?  Has he taken a pay cut?  If he’s working hard, but it doesn’t make ends meet, he might feel frustrated and it doesn’t help that you are adding onto the pyre.

Financial situations don’t have to bring strife between you and your husband.  Maybe it’s time you took a look at your budget and see where you can cut back.  Or maybe, you could learn to work from home and take in extra income.  When one partner is blamed for everything that goes wrong in a relationship, it’ easy for them to feel like you’re just blaming them.  Work as a team and you’ll find that you’re arguing less.

Let’s make this emphatically clear: if your husband is a substance abuser or is violent, you need to call the police and leave the relationship.  A man does not have a right to hurt his wife, and if he threatens your life, take him at his word and leave the house.  A restraining order might not be enough to keep him away, so be sure when you leave that you do it in secret and you do it for keeps.  Some women think that an alcoholic husband is okay, or that it’s just a phase.  In some cases, that’s true, a husband can overcome an addiction and repair a relationship, but if the relationship is abusive, you have to leave.

Don’t blame yourself if you are having fights with your husband.  You need to make a logical assessment of the situation and work from there.  Always be attentive, listen, and try not to blame your husband for everything.  Take a look in the mirror, and see if there are any things you can change to make the relationship last.

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