Here’s a question I received from a faithful reader: He dumped me…
My boyfriend dumped me. This is a new experience for me, I’ve never been dumped by anyone before. I thought I would get over it but it’s been a few months and I still am really upset by it. I miss him and I wish he was still in my life even though he dumped me, so I guess I should hate him. I loved him. What should I do?
Answer: I’m sorry that your boyfriend dumped you. The most important thing for you to do right now is to look at the situation honestly. He dumped you, but he isn’t the judge of your true worth. Don’t let him make you feel inadequate. You have something to share with this world, so share it!
I know most people in these situations say “it’s his loss!” That sounds corny, but it’s true. Isn’t it better that you break up now, while things are not so serious, before you get married, have kids, and then have to go through that level of heartache!
You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. All of you. It sounds like this guy isn’t necessarily mean, but he definitely isn’t interested in you as a girlfriend. It may be hard, but it’s time to move on.
The best way to do this is by finding new things to do. Look for new activities and clubs. Spend time with family and friends. Let yourself have other meaningful relationships with men. Don’t hide yourself away from the world and let yourself continue to spiral into sadness. Closing yourself off from the outside world now could spell doom for you.
If you’ve been feeling this way for months and you haven’t noticed any real improvement, then it may be time to consider seeing a psychologist. It doesn’t mean you would have to become a regular, but a psychologist can listen to you and help you find better ways of coping. They can offer suggestions that a biased person (such as a friend or family member) might not see or be aware of. Many psychologists specialize in life changes and life stressors such as a relationship breakup.
Regardless of what you decide to do, make sure it is something that makes you happy. Don’t think “He dumped me…” all day, every day. Instead, smile and know that your next knight in shining armor is right around the corner.
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