“I had an affair and I want to save my marriage! How do I do it?”
An affair is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship and it’s usually almost impossible to try and pick up the pieces afterward. I’m sorry for not giving you a much rosier picture, but the problem is affairs are trust-poison, and all relationships run off of the gasoline of trust. If you’ve had an affair, you will need to let your spouse handle trying to bring the relationship back together.
So you’ve had an affair, but you care enough about your partner to try to save your marriage. While I commend you for opting to stick it out, I can tell you that this is one of the most difficult things to recover from in a relationship. You’ve broken the sacred trust between the two of you and re-establishing that is not going to be an easy task. In addition, I have to wonder if your partner is on board. To have a happy and healthy marriage, both partners must be willing to make it work.
Many people think that they can solve this problem on their own. Maybe they’ll buy their wife flowers or begin cooking every meal. Others adopt a lazy approach and assume that she’ll just “get over it” eventually. Neither is the correct response. It is kind and considerate to begin to do more around the house, but make sure that you are doing things that you do well. If you always do the laundry and she screams at you for doing it wrong, don’t touch it. Try to do the things that you know you can do right. Cleaning and cooking are usually good options that will not upset her.
You must always remember that you were in the wrong and that she will be suspicious of you from now on. She’ll call you at work, she’ll ask your friends where you’ve been, she may even check up behind you. Relationships where one partner has cheated are usually damaged in some way and that poison lingers on in her for many years to come. She is the one that will ultimately decide to forgive you. Give her every reason to.
In the end, it’s important to realize that you cannot fix this on your own. The chances are slim to none and why risk it? If you are serious about your marriage then you should ask your partner to go to couples therapy with you. This will give you both a mediator and an objective third person perspective. A couples therapist will be able to help you work through your problems. Your partner will also be more likely to share things in session that she might not at home, giving you a better idea on what she needs and on what you can do to save your marriage.
Another way to fix the problem and save your marriage is to take proven steps that will rewind the damage that’s been done. It’s still possible to get back those initial sensual feelings and keep them for good. Watch my FREE video presentation to see how…CLICK HERE to check out the video while you still can…