My husband had an affair

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Question: My husband had an affair and I’m wondering what I should do with our relationship? Should I stay married to him or leave him? He said it was just a one time thing and he was drunk. I don’t know. I’m worried it may continue. I mean, my husband had an affair! What should I do?

Answer: This is a tough situation. No matter which way you look at the situation, your husband cheated on you and had an affair. It’s difficult to trust him now because he lied once. It’s possible that he could lie again. Yet – you are considering staying with him. So there must be a part of you that still loves him.  This can be hard to shake, I know, but you have to put your feelings aside and really think about whether or not you can forgive him.

There are no easy answers with a situation like this. I would recommend first and foremost, that you spend a little time away and think about this situation privately. You need to evaluate your feelings by yourself without ANYONE (your husband, your parents, your friends, etc) influencing you. If you have children this may be difficult. You may need to tell them that you are going to an event in another city for a few days.

Once you go away and come back, hopefully you will have cleared your head enough to make a decision. If your husband is truly remorseful and still loves you, then he will understand your need for space. He will also be waiting when you get back.

Taking some time off also has the added effect of letting him think about what he’s done.  If it was really spur of the moment, then he might be feeling extremely ashamed and might not want to talk to you out of fear that pressing the issue too soon may exacerbate an already tense situation.  If he’s not apologetic, and instead took the time to continue his behavior, well I think you have your answer now.

If you think, even for a moment, that he might return to his old ways, then you need to leave him.  It will work in the long run, and you may have to do it even with all the complications of children, a house, and a job, but your safety and emotional security are paramount.

Whatever you do, it’s important to understand that you need to make this decision for yourself. Don’t consider what everyone else would like you to do. This is about you and you should be the only one making this kind of life-changing decision for yourself. Never let your future be in someone else’s hands. Keep it firmly within your own hands.

Now that you’ve learned what to do in a difficult situation like an affair, check out my FREE video presentation that shows you how to rewind your relationship to avoid situations like these. Click here NOW to learn the secret of a happy, fresh, and faithful relationship.

One Comment

  1. Ex-girlfriend going to come back even though I left her, if so when will she try to cantoct me..?So basically here is the gist of things I have an ex-girlfriend whom is absolutely drop dead gorgeous yet she has been around the block quite a few times.. In the beginning of our relationship I started hearing from more and more people about her explicit pictures she would send out to a lot of men that she never even went out with.. so I then started questioning the relationship because I kept hearing it from multiple people and would confront her on it yet all she would do would deny deny deny.. I then gave her the benefit of the doubt up until I started recieving proof from different people that they did have full on pictures of her without any clothes anywhere.. once I confirmed many many men had explicit pictures there became problems all though I let it go because I figured it was part of her past and everyone has a past right? overtime I lost trust which created a lot of problems and when times started getting tough she would break up with me, the very first time was for about a week.. and she did not know I still had her passwords to emails, myspace, facebook, etc. within the first couple of days one of the men on her myspace retrieved her phone number then a day or two after that they were exchanging explicit pictures via email. when I confronted her on that in person about a week after the break up i printed out the pictures and presented them to her in her car after her repeatedly denying doing any of that an claiming he was just a friend so we got back together about a week after that because I let manipulate the situation.. everytime she broke up with me she would run to this guy named rob who was her friend all throughout high school except for the fact they slept with eachother all throughout high school as well. and everytime she broke up with me he would be one the first guys she slept with everytime she left me she would sleep around and send explicit pictures out to guys that were just friends co-workers etc then she would always come back after she was tired with all the other guys i guess? but the most recent time she left me was back a bit ago and she did not try to cantoct me for exactly a month.. but then I just ignored her day in day out until a couple of weeks of her trying and like an idiot i decided to take her up on her offer to meet at the mall.. then feelings came back I went back into denial and gave her another shot.. after her leaving me again sleeping with rob the first week she left me sleeping with 3 guys she met off of myspace in between, and sleeping with her ex boyfrend 2 days before we hung out. but this time I left her and after a week I went out with some friends to a bar had some alchohol in my system and decided to call.. of course she ignored me this time.. so I called a couple times the next day still ignored me.. i then txted her and this is somewhat of what the convo looked like.. me hey just wanted to see how you were doing, but your clearly ignoring me so sorry to bother and take care. her- I’m fine thanks. Take care. me- Well I just wanted to apologize for the way I ended things I feel like I came off like a dick and do not want to be remembered that way because thats not who i am. Thanks for getting back to me, have a good weekend miss her It’s ok no worries. Thanks hun I left it at that changed my phone number within minutes of the last txt and have not spoken to her since which was only a couple of days ago.. But the moral of the story is that I feel she is not good for me but I always want her back, do you think she will try to cantoct me, or come back to me.. does it seem like shes playing games, I dont know what to do anymore someone please help me!! I still have her all of her passwords and she doesnt know and I cant help but keep checking it and seeing her in her pictures all dressed up looking gorgeous, and shes still giving her number out to multiple guys some of her past and some she just knows from myspace..Basically asking if since I left her this time will she try to come back again, or cantoct me

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