Relationship Break-Ups

Relationship Break-Ups

Finding a healthy way to deal with relationship break-ups is a life skill in and of itself…

Relationship break-ups can really ruin our life rhythm.  Our life goes from feeling in sync, like our circle is complete, to a darkness that pervades our senses and takes the sweet taste of life.  You begin to blame yourself and run through your mind about how things could have been different.  What if you had just been more open minded?  What if you had been more flexible, or listened more?  What could you have done to prevent the breakup?  These kinds of thoughts are unproductive and I’ll help you figure out how to move past them.

The first thing you should do is forgive yourself.  You may not be able to forgive your partner right now for all the hurt feelings that come with any break up.  Maybe you broke up because of infidelity or because your partner felt that  their life path would take them somewhere where you weren’t.  This happens.  You must first forgive yourself and stop torturing yourself over what’s happened in the past.  You must go through the grief of loss, and then give your relationship a funeral.

It’s Okay to Grieve

Grief is a natural part of loss, and an essential part of life.  We grieve so that we can remember the good parts, and then move on.  Perhaps you are not used to grieving?  Perhaps you want to hang onto your relationship.  If you hang on to it, it’s real for you in some way.  This part is natural.  Remember your relationship  for what it was.  Was there passion?  Was their excitement?  Was there romance?  Did you feel secure in knowing you had found your soul mate and that life was looking up?

It is so crucial that you do not feel self pity or try to suppress your emotions.  You don’t have to carry on as if life was perfect without your significant other.  It’s okay to go home and cry, to look over old photos, and to let yourself feel what you feel.  This is such an important step.

Give Your Relationship a Funeral

It’s time to forget the past.  It’s over with.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend are probably going through as much internal turmoil as you are, but it’s not time to dwell on that. You need to start concentrating on your future and thinking about how you want to improve your life from here on out . Remember to always cherish yourself.  Treat yourself to a candlelight dinner or take a walk through the park.  Write a poem about yourself.  It’s time to think of silly ways you can remind yourself about just how wonderful of a person you are, and to forget your ex forever.

 

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