So many people write to me and talk to me about relationship doubts. It’s normal to have doubts now and again, but be sure that you’re not thinking about larger problems.
Dealing with relationship doubts can be a real pain.
When you first begin experiencing relationship doubts, then it’s time you begin to reflect on what is making you think that in the first place. Do you wonder where the relationship is heading? Do you wonder if it will ever turn into something serious? Do you wonder if choosing someone else may have been better?
These relationship doubts could be a forewarning of major problems to come later on. Take them seriously, but also don’t overreact.
If you don’t really like who you’re with, now is the time to be honest about it. Having doubts is fine, and it might be telling you something: you’re not being really honest with yourself. Maybe when you first started dating everything was fun, but now you feel that life has gotten stuck in a rut?
If you feel that you are having doubts about the relationship, but you still love your partner, then you should work to fix your problems. There are a variety of different ideas to saving a relationship. You could try couple’s therapy if you’re serious, or maybe spice it up in the bedroom. Just make sure that you want to save your relationship first. If you’ve been a relationship for the past four weeks and you’re already having problems – do you think this person is really the right match for you?
It may simply be best to leave. It sounds like hard advice to listen to.
So to determine what you should do, I recommend that you create a “Deal Breakers List.” Write down your top ten deal breakers. Then compare your relationship to your list.
Opposites do attract, but sometimes you can be incompatible with your partner. If you’re a thrill seeker, always looking for the next adrenaline pumping adventure, then having someone grounded might be good, occasionally, but you won’t be getting your fix for new adventure.
Don’t worry, most relationship doubts are not all that serious and they dissipate within a few weeks. It’s only when these doubts turn into real concerns, that we really consider breaking up.
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