So you want to know the definition of a sexless relationship, you may be wondering how much is enough…
What is a sexless relationship? How do we know we’re in one? What are the signs? A sexless relationship is not as easy to spot as you might think. Most people would just roll their eyes and say, “Obviously it’s a relationship where neither person is having sex.” Well, it goes deeper than that. Sure, one of the biggest signs of a sexless relationship is that sex is either non-existent or infrequent.
Couples in sexless relationships report having sex less than ten times per year. That’s having sex only every couple of months! Usually, one partner has little to no sex drive and tries to avoid their partner’s advances at all costs. The partner that doesn’t want sex will make up excuses such as “I’m too tired,” or “I have work in the morning.” This leaves the partner that wants to have sex out in the cold.
What are some other definitions of a sexless relationship? Well, it’s not just all about sex. It’s also about intimacy. Intimacy is the feelings of closeness in a relationship, that you and your partner are a team and that you share secrets that you would never let the rest of the world know. Intimacy is the hallmark of any relationship, and you’ll notice that in sexless relationships, basic intimacy is either rare or completely missing.
Intimacy doesn’t mean hitting the sheets. Intimacy is kissing goodbye, holding each other in bed, cuddling, hugging, any of the little physical cues we give to our partner that says “You are special to me.” Intimacy is long talks at night and walking with each other along the beach. Intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together and makes it last.
In a sexless relationship, the person who does not want to have sex feels frustrated, alone, and abandoned. It actually might be the case that they do not express these feelings of abandonment openly for fear that their relationship would fall apart if they were to talk openly about what was bothering them.
Now that you know the definition of a sexless relationship, you can identify whether or not you are in one and take appropriate action. Remember, a sexless relationship is not sustainable in the long run. A relationship without sex is doomed to failure from the very beginning.
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