In “500 Days of Summer,” we see a man meet a woman. And he falls. Madly in love.
You may not have had this exact experience in your life, but I’m guessing that everyone has experienced nerves with certain women. They just steal your heart. You’d love to ask them out, but you start to panic. You can barely say anything. You’re in awe. A bit dumbfounded.
How do you avoid that?
The first thing to remember is that she isn’t any more special than you are. She’s a person. So are you. It’s great to be chivalrous and behave like a gentlemen. However, you don’t need to treat her like a queen. It only makes her think that you must think she’s out of your league. No need for that.
Next, try not to worry. Don’t focus on all of the things that you should be doing: smiling, having confidence, charming, saying just the right thing, etc. Let all of that go. Don’t force expectations upon yourself. Just be yourself! In the end, you want to be with a girl who likes you for who you are. So show her who you are. I’ve often noticed that I strike up the best rapport with girls I’m not interested in, just because I’m not so nervous. I always think – if only I could do this with someone I wanted to date. I can and you can. Just let it happen naturally.
Breathe. This is an obvious one and may seem kind of silly, but it’s a big help. If you just relax and take deep breaths, your body will actually send calming signals to your brain. This will help you stay clear and keep your nerves from becoming overwhelming.
Lastly, focus on her. Ask her questions about herself and be genuinely interested. Then you won’t have as much time to concentrate on your nerves. Instead, you’ll be concentrating on her!