What to Look For in a Couples Therapist

What to Look For in a Couples Therapist

Are you looking for a therapist?  What about a couples therapist?  What should you look for?

When looking for a good couples therapist, you may find yourself stressed and confused. There are so many options and you may not know what to look for. Thankfully, this checklist will share with you some of the Do’s and Don’ts in finding a helpful, competent couples therapist.

The main thing you should look for in a couples therapist is professionalism and having trained in your specific problem.  Some couples therapists deal with divorce and other couples therapists deal with sexual issues.  It all depends on what kind of problems you’re having, and there are specialists in those areas, so when you do your research keep that in mind.

Now for our Do’s and Don’ts.

Do’s & Don’ts

-Therapist is compassionate and understanding of both of you

-Your therapist structures your sessions and is clearly organized.

-Your therapist doesn’t allow you to interrupt each other or yell.

-Your therapist expresses his or her desire that you will work things out and believes there is hope in fixing the problems in your marital relationship

-Your therapist holds you both accountable for your actions and believes that both of you can do things to change the dynamic of the relationship, rather than just focusing on one individual.

-Your therapist should not take sides.

-Your therapist should not assume that there are specific gender roles that must be present in the marital relationship and does not force you into any specific roles.

-Most importantly, your therapist offers her objective feedback and helps you develop strategies to work towards a healthy and happy marital relationship.

If your therapist does all of these things, and give him or her a few weeks before you try to assess their competence, then you can feel secure and safe in your time in session. If not, you may want to ask your therapist about it and may need to terminate the relationship. Not every therapist is a good fit for every client and if your therapist follows all of the above ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ but you don’t feel right, it’s okay to find another therapist. Just make sure that it is actually the therapist that you dislike and are uncomfortable with, rather than the idea of “going to therapy” and the therapy process itself.

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