You’ve made a mistake and tried to make up for it. But what do you do when it isn’t working and she’s mad?
We’ve all had those days where we’ve said something or done something that has upset our girlfriend. The difference is that some of us have been able to resolve the fight and some of us have ended up – dumped.
I know it feels bad, but one thing you have to remember is the principle of assertiveness. The principle is based on valuing yourself first before you deal with others. You have to base your reality on what is best for you, and to honor yourself first, then you can honor another. Yes, your girlfriend is angry with you, but what about you?
This is not a call to selfishness. You’ll find that wantonly trying to calm down her anger will make her lose respect for you and actually make things worse. You see, your response to her anger is just as important as trying to calm her down. It’s how you’ll be judged as a man.
So then, what do I do? How should I handle this?
When your girlfriend gets upset with you – trust me, it’s a “when” and not an “if” – then you need to be prepared and knowledgeable about what to do.
First, you need to read her. Does she want you to go away and give her some space or is she looking for you to reach out and try to fix the situation? Always first try to fix things. If you don’t know what you did wrong, then ask her. Explain that you don’t know what happened, but you’d be willing to talk about it and you’d like to understand. Women want to feel understood, just like men, and if you convey that you care enough to try to understand how she is feeling…you’ll be in a much better position to resolve the situation.
That’s all well and good, but what if she gets too emotional?
Next address the problem. If you said something that hurt her feelings, then apologize. You shouldn’t have said it. Perhaps she’s over-reacting and you don’t want to withdraw what you said, but if it isn’t important then you should really withdraw it. You may find it difficult to apologize, but if you do you’ll be able to stop things from getting worse.
The most important thing is to remember that this will happen again if you don’t learn from the experience. If she told you that it upsets her when you are going to be late and you don’t text or call, then call or text next time you’re going to be late! Listen to her and she’ll listen to you. This is the best way to resolve arguments and make up with your girlfriend. It’s also the best way to develop a deep and meaningful relationship.