Question: I want to win back my wife. We’ve been really distant lately and I want her to know that she’s still the person I want to be with. I just worry that she won’t listen. I worry that I’ve lost her. I’m pretty stubborn and I don’t know what to say, I have a hard time saying anything. What should I do?
Answer: When you are looking at finding ways to “win back my wife,” I want you to consider what you haven’t been doing.
Have you been complimenting her? I don’t mean fake compliments. I mean real, honest, genuine compliments. Find something compelling to say and say it. It will make her feel good and remind her that you’re still there. You still find her attractive and you still love all of her idiosyncrasies as well as her personality.
Another thing that I would ask you to look at, is the time you spend together. This is crucial. You may need to spend more time with her. Maybe you’re always off doing your own thing or you’re involved in a lot of outside activities. Find a way to make her feel special. Find a way to make her feel loved.
However, you may be spending too much time with her. Have you given her space to breathe? To pursue her own interests? It’s important that you allow her to do her own thing as well. It’s good for couples to have some activities that they do on their own. It’s healthy for you to spend time apart as well as together. Don’t suffocate her or she will be less likely to stay.
Regardless of what choices you need to make and what behaviors you need to alter, it’s important that you do so with her in mind. Listen to what she’s asking for and give it to her.